Albuquerque, NM – With the remote out of reach, and ice dancing on NBC’s Vancouver Olympic coverage, Thomas LuDann initial reaction was one of empathy. But malaise turned to interest, as LuDann first saw the American ice dancer Tanith Belbin. With the TV room to himself, Tanith Belbin’s compulsory dance program led to voluntary masturbation of LuDann’s phallus.  Compulsory dances, the part of ice dancing in which all the couples perform the same standardized steps and holds to music of a specified tempo has recently led to self pleasure among men with rhythm stroke manipulation fetishes and lack of easy internet accessibility.

Although LuDann does not know much about Moldavian culture, Belbin’s Moldavian themed compulsory dance inspired mandatory self-gratification and ejaculation. The only negative part of the experience was the four minute length of the routine, LuDann’s acknowledgment of the existence Belben’s partner Benjamin Agosto and of course the compulsory clean up before roommate Kyle Getzaf gets home.

“The patriotism, meshed with the mandatory nature of this particular section of the ice dance program can, inspire or even command the male to rub his penis to an excited state. This can attributed to any one of a number of things, such as lack of intimacy, self-confidence issues, or the tightness of Belbin’s outfit combined with her lush blonde hair… blue eyes…athletic frame…and ah, hmmm… excuse me, I have an another appointment appointment… can you come back in 15 minutes?”

Belbin is simply the latest in a long line female athletes whose obligatory sport performances have led to protracted sessions of solo erotic pleasures for LuDann. These include Anna Kournikova’s rule mandated pro-set baseline service leading to lubricated self-service; Natalie Gublis skins play, leading to actual personal skin play; and Danica Patrick’s airflow inspired restrictor plates effect on her car’s draft and her ability to put the hammer down leading to LuDann beating off so feverishly one would expect that that he was poisoned and that his own cum was the only antidote.