Elvis on the 2008 Presidential Election

Now alright mama before we get this whole humdinger a shakin, the King is gonna need a few things. Hey, Colonel, could you have them mix me up a peanut butter and banana sandwich with Demerol…and… baby toes. C’mon now, I’m the King! Love me tender, love me sweet…never let me goooooo.

Alright now, so this election…hey Colonel, get me my stuffed giraffe Neckers that Ann Marget gave me outta my yellow Cadillac. What? What do you mean I ain’t got no yellow Cadillac. Ain’t that a kick in the King’s keister! I gots me 4 Cadillacs, but no yellow one! Mmmm, this here sandwich is the tops. Hey Pop, go pick me up a new yellow Cadillac. C’mon now, I’m the King! We can’t go on together, with suspicious miiiiiiiiinds.

Now, you know I’ve done push ups with JFK… karate with Nixon… and I may have even rode one of them unicorns with LBJ, so the King knows a thing or two about these elections, Jack. Hey Trish, can you wipe my brow, I’m sweatin’ on my sandwich now. Thanks Dish, now you go upstairs and wait for me in my velvet bed, the King will be up in a few. Hey Colonel, have them make me another sandwich, this one I want peanut butter, chocolate, a chopped up G.I. Joe, the May ’67 issue of Time Magazine…and baby toes. C’mon now, I’m the King! Oh let me be… your teddddddy beeeaaaaar.

So wait, what’s this? There’s a chocolate cat running for president? Obama what? Hey man, ain’t that a hot pepper! I’m all for it! Whoa, whoa, whoa…slow down the groove for a minute here, what’s with this lady Palin? What, she like that crazy lookin’ old guy’s daughter or something? Now, that is a fox, I tell you what, Jack. If I saw her I’d be all like… Take my hand, take my whooooollllle life too, for I, can’t help fallin’ in love with youuuuuuuu.

Alright, so now I think the secret to this here election is…hey wait, Colonel, can you get me some more pills, you know how the King gets when his head gets all to thinking. And have them mix up the King another sandwich, I’m hungrier than Jackie Gleason was right before he ate Perry Como. Now get it right this time, I want peanut butter, a crushed up moon rock, barbiturates, a two dollar bill…and baby toes. I don’t care if this sandwich is illegal, Jack! So help me God, I will kill all of you with my magic sequin karate!!! Ok, then daddio, make with the sandwich. C’mon now, I’m the King! Im just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning loooooooooove.

Elvis is a Buzz Pirates Correspondent

Who is the Real Socialist?

Recently, there has been a lot of attention given to Sen. Obama being called a socialist by Gov. Palin. In addition, plenty have called supporters of the bailout (including both Obama and McCain) Socialists.

According to Wikipedia Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society. Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution which represents the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.

Lot of words there. People tend to make an evil connection between socialism and communism – and anyone who saw Rocky IV knows how scary that can be.

Well, fear not and meet the REAL socialist party ticket. His name is Brian Moore (on the right) and he is the Socialist Party Presidential Candidate. His running mate (on the left) is Stewart Alexander. Brian appeared on the Colbert Report on Tuesday and was definitely a good sport. The lead up to his appearance was basically a bunch of media pundits and Gov. Palin calling Obama a socialist… followed up with the real socialist candidate.

I think there are some Socialist ideals that are well founded, and socialism has worked well in Scandanavian countries. I believe that the way it works is that everyone is given 6 meatballs and blonde hair, and nobody has to work. Still, I think the US is too big and diverse for it to function properly. Nevertheless, I think its important that major ideas like Socialism that have good intentions get a voice. So, Brian Moore, good luck getting 0.00000000000001% of the vote… I may not vote for you, but I like you’re style.

Obama is a Long-Legged Mac Daddy!

I love me some Obama, and I know that this video clip is dated… but I just can’t get enough of this ridiculous preacher. His name is James David Manning and he is chief pastor at the ATLAH World Missionary Church on 123rd Street in New York City. I think he’s crazy, and the way he says “OBAMA!” is distinctive enough that my man Howard Stern plays the audio clip of Manning saying “OBAMA!” every time the future President is mentioned on the show. Even though Manning has a M.A. and a PhD, he’s a complete idiot… still I can’t help but laugh as he refers to Obama Girl and then feel a little uncomfortable as he refers to Obama’s caucasian mother. My guess is that John McCain and Sarah Palin are contributors to the ATLAH World Missionary Church.

Sarah Palin Faces Tina Fey on SNL

Sarah Palin showed up on Saturday Night Live this weekend. The MILF’s guest spot to open the show was heavily hyped all week. I’ve always liked or at least liked complaining about how good or bad SNL has been for the last several years. Like it or not, its a show that I hope stays on the air forever. Still, I’ve got to be honest and say that I believe they are relying on this Sarah Palin impression by Tina Fey way too much… they should focus more on the show as a whole… generate their own buzz so to speak.

In addition Mark Walhberg showed up in the same sketch as the Alaskan Gov. in a week that followed his anti-SNL comments. Josh Brolin, hot off Oliver Stone’s “W” hosted the show.

Tina Fey Scores as Sarah Palin on SNL Season Premiere

The season premiere of Saturday Night Live started off strong with Tina Fey returning to her stomping grounds with a spot on impression of Sarah Palin. Props to Tina and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton for a funny, topical and well executed sketch to start the season. These ladies are on top of their game.

The web had been buzzing for weeks as to what celebrities look like Gov. Palin, and Tina Fey had been at the top of the list. Entertainment Weekly (my favorite magazine) had nailed the Fey/Palin connection in an online poll over a week ago. I’m sure Lorne Michaels will try to pull Tina away from 30 Rock (one of my favorite shows – if you aren’t watching it you are missing out on nonstop laughs) and keep the energy of this buzz worthy sketch going with more Palin related sketches.

As for the rest of the episode, host Michael Phelps (who it turns out didn’t drown) did his best with subpar material. There were funny moments throughout the show, and musical guest Lil’ Wayne was great. Still, I’d give the Palin/Clinton sketch a 10 and the rest of the show a 6.