Cal Ripken Jr. Runs Out of Baseball Metaphors Quickly During Corporate Appearance

Middlefield, Ohio– During a corporate appearance on site at one of Flambeau, Inc.’s plastics manufacturing plants today, Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr. quickly ran out of baseball metaphors during a motivational lecture.

Ripken began, “When I played for the Baltimore Orioles, I was known for strapping on the cleats for every game. But out here in the real world, you’ve got to have what it takes to hit the corporate changeup everyday. To be an MVP employee you’ve got to swing away, aim for the fences and hit a home run in your sales pitch. You’ve got to try for the grand slam, but also pepper in some singles, doubles and triples to round out your team stats. When your faced with a potential double play in the plant, you’ve got to slide hard into second and try break it up…um… much like breaking up the necessary compounds in a ratten extruder or fixing a pelletizing machine.”

The normally affable slugger, seemed somewhat out of sorts in his public speaking engagement. He continued, “when its the bottom of the ninth, and you’ve got to make you quarterly numbers, just remember that its one…two…three strikes your out of the old ball game. Phew…is it hot in here? Anybody got any peanuts or crackerjacks?”

After fumbling with a projector for a full 2 minutes, the 19-time All Star put together quite possibly the lamest power point presentation ever. Pointing to the single screen presentation, Ripken laid out “Cal’s Triple Play of Success” which was met with a serious lack of enthusiasm.

Product coordinator Meldon Kikus was on hand for the presentation. “I’ve seen this guy on TV a bunch, I figured he’d done it before. I knew he was in trouble when he cross referenced respecting the work space with the infield fly rule. At least when [NBA Hall of Famer player] Alex English came by he seemed somewhat natural. He shot three 18-millimeter silicone flange caps into an industrial waste bin and said “now that’s like slam dunking a perfect safety record,”  at last year’s plastic’s safety conference in Walla Walla.”

Things really took a turn for the worse when Ripken, while standing next to a vertical injection molding machine, a machine designed for the molding of plastic materials, said “now you see why I’m the Iron Man.” Whispers filled the manufacturing floor when it became apparent that Ripken had no idea he was actually speaking at a plastics manufacturer and not some sort of iron or steel plant. The mood became downright uncomfortable when after speaking for only 15 minutes Ripken made references to a first baseman’s mitt, Mike Boddicker, throwing a slurve and finally “making a touchdown.”

Sports motivational speech analysts have called this the worst sports motivational speech since Olympic gold medal sprinter Usain Bolt, explained at length his “challenges” and “hardships” in learning to run fast to a group of wheelchair bound children with cerebral palsy.

MLB 09: The Show – Video Game Preview

MLB 09: The Show will be released on Tuesday. Who says PlayStation doesn’t have first class exclusive games? For the last few years, Sony’s MLB the Show has been the leading baseball simulation on the market. Last year MLB 08: The Show broke ground in graphics and game play. Rex Hudler, Matt Vasgersian, and Dave Campbell did a great job last year and return this year to add to the realism. MLB 09: The Show should expand and improve on an already amazing formula. I expect MLB to remain the game to beat. If you have PS3 and an HDTV you should probably get this game on opening day.

Developer – SCEA

Publisher – SCEA

Platform – PlayStation 3, PlayStation 2, PSP

Rating – E (Everyone)

Release Date – March 3, 2009

This year’s cover athlete is Boston Red Sox MVP Dustin Pedroia and he’s in a really funny commercial for the game…


Here are some of the new features from this year’s edition taken right from Sony PlayStation’s website.

Road to the Show 3.0
Now includes interactive training, new settings, a new steal/ lead-off system, presentations and coach interactions. Interactive training will consist of a set of mini-games designed to improve a player’s ability and performance in various areas of baseball.

Franchise Mode 2.0
Improvements include the long awaited 40-man roster! The latest Franchise Mode improvements will also offer Salary Arbitration, Waiver Transactions and September call-ups.

Online Season Leagues
Along with improvements to the traditional Online Leagues, MLB 09 will offer major additions to Online Season Leagues! New Online Season Leagues will allow you to hold a fully functional draft and utilize a Flex Schedule, allowing players to play games ahead in the schedule.

Training/Practice Drills
In MLB 09 users will have the ability to choose from a number of different Training/Practice drills. The drills will be of various concentrations of the game. These drills are a perfect way to polish and improve your baseball skills in The Show!

Details & Subtleties
Details and subtleties play a huge role in legitimizing a game and helping you lose yourself in the suspension of disbelief. MLB 09 The Show sinks it’s teeth into the details with realistic stadiums and signage, wear and tear on field, dusk to night lighting transitions, stadium Jumbotron animations and even crowd atmosphere – reaching up for foul balls out of play and home runs in addition to crowd rivalries and weather appropriate clothing.

Custom Music, Fan Yells and Chants
Using our My MLB Music feature, store all of your favorite music for play on MLB 09 The Show. Once you have your music on your PS3 hard drive, edit any of your tracks and assign a batter walk-up to all of your favorite players. Along with Custom Music, MLB 09 will also offer Custom Fan Yells and Chants. Record a yell, with your own voice, and assign it to play for the player and situation of your choice.