Work Begins on George W. Bush Memorial Magazine Stand

Houston, Texas – With the inauguration of President-Elect Barack Obama quickly approaching, work began Monday on the George W. Bush Memorial Magazine Stand. As per the President’s special request, lead designer Monte LeCriff has been charged with the task of creating a magazine stand which will be both colorful and highlight pictures of dinosaurs reading magazines. LeCriff commented by saying that he “will build a stand that epitomizes the intellectual prowess and borderline literacy” of the 43rd President of the United States.

Initially the idea of having monkeys reading magazines was suggested, but the President dismissed the idea by insisting that “monkeys are stupid” and then ran out of the room with his Nintendo DS.

LeCriff, who famously designed the Stallone Mouth Museum, Paris Hilton Choch Cleanliness Clinic as well as the Andy Dick Snorting Cocaine Off a Flaming Twink War Memorial is excited about his most recent project. “We have secured a very prestigous placement in a Radio Shack fronted stripmall. This stripmall, is probably one of the top 17 stripmalls in the tri-county area. We are very excited about this opportunity to truly honor the President in a way that fits him.”

“The President is a reader, I mean he has subscriptions, to like 4 magazines,” said White House maid Olivia Sanchez. “As a matter of fact I think he has the magazines directly delivered to the Oval Office bathroom.”

“Oh, my Poopsie, he always has been a marvelous reader while on the toilet” added Laura Bush. “I remember him telling me about reading an entire issue of Highlights magazine in one sitting on the toilet. Both his legs had fallen asleep, but he stuck it out for 50 full minutes trying to find everything in the Hidden Picture Playground. He’s a real go-getter…well, when it comes to reading magazines on the toilet he is.”

United States Secretary of Education, Margaret Spellings suggested that maybe President Bush should go the “classic route” of having a Presidential Library and that perhaps a magazine stand would be “trashy” and “send the wrong message.” When approached with the idea, President Bush stared puzzled at Spellings for a full five minutes before answering, “well, but this is gonna have dinosaurs reading magazines on it…”

Top 20 Stupidest Quotes by President George W. Bush

With the 3rd debate between John McCain and Barack Obama tonight, it is important to note that we are only a few short months away of ridding the country of George Bush forever. In addition, Oliver Stone’s “W” comes out this week in which Josh Brolin will be doing his best Bush imitation in what is sure to be a provocative movie from one of Hollywood’s most talented directors. If you still think Bush has done a good job, maybe you should open a newspaper or turn on a television… still don’t believe me? Well, then why not take a peak at his 20 best quotes…. There will be no “four score and seven years ago,” no “what can my country do for you”, not even a “read my lips” or at least a “I did not have sexual relations.” Enjoy!

20. “I’m going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I’m smart on the subject.” -, answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007

19. “We’ve got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood.” – Kranj, Slovenia, June 10, 2008

18. “Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that’s what I’d ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.” -talking to reporters in Washington, D.C., July 2, 2008

17. “I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand — but the president doesn’t have a magic wand. You just can’t say, ‘low gas.'” – Washington D.C., July 15, 2008

16. “Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.” -Charlottesville, Va., July 4, 2008

15. “There’s no question about it. Wall Street got drunk — that’s one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras — it got drunk and now it’s got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments.” – speaking at a private fundraiser, Houston, Texas, July 18, 2008

14. “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” -LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

13. “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” -Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

12. “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

11. “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

10. “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” -to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

9. “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

8. “They misunderestimated me.” -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

7. “So long as I’m the president, my measure of success is victory — and success.” – on Iraq, Washington, D.C., April 17, 2008

6. “The question is, who ought to make that decision? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear — I’m a commander guy.” -Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

5. “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” – Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

4. “More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way.” – Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007

3. “Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” -Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

2. “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

1. “There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002