Street Fighter IV recently hit shelves and its been a huge hit. Like many fighting games its filled with some terrible video game dialogue. Most of the time its a poor translation that leads to either funny sounding English or simply poor thought out commentary. The following quotes are new and old, spoken or read. Some have a flawless sounding audio clip, where others have the extra static fuzz sound. Either way they are all terrible and therefore these entries make up the Top 10 Worst Video Game Dialogue ever.
10. “You can almost feel the fear, it’s tangible!” - Street Fighter IV – Street Fighter IV came recently… its a great game, but it couldn’t avoid a stupid line that’s said over and over again while the fights are going on. In addition, the game has the worst music ever with some sort of weird boy band music intro. The Street Fighter series has always had bad writing… in my mind, that’s part of the fun. Add to that list Virtual Fighter (i.e. Lion Rafael – “Do you think you can compete at that level!), King of Fighters (ridiculous yelling) and every other fighter.
9. “Aries Get” – Puzzle De Pon – Puzzle de Pon is a puzzle video game very similar in nature to Puzzle Bobble and Bust a Moove. The game involves color coded popping of bubbles with various power ups and wacky sounds. After 3 levels are completed the player gains a zodiac sign. Signs are then collected at various intervals. Each time it just says the zodiac sign and “get.”
8. “President Ronnie has been kidnapped by the ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue Ronnie?” – Bad Dudes. Its so bad, its good. Bad Dudes has you bare knuckle brawl your way through waves of enemies, all for the sake of saving President Regan from ninjas. When you win the game, Ronnie addresses you as “dudes.” In addition, at the completion of a level, your character pumps his fists and says, “I’m bad!”
7. “Stop. Don’t Come!” – Time Crisis – The chick tries to warn you that you are entering a trap. As you prepare to meet the boss at the end of the 2nd stage the girl you are trying to save tries to help you out with the poorest exclamation of “stop. don’t come.” The boss in a white suit reaches into his hair and says “let me entertain you!” and then pulls out several knives. Time Crisis also has one word it constantly repeats… “Action!” every time you are ready to shoot bad guys.
6. “With the Pass” – Blades of Steel (NES)- Of all the quotes that should be repeated in a hockey game over and over again… “with the pass”… really? The speech in Blades of steel is a good example of the static-sounding voice in earlier console games. Other then the call “faceoff,” “fight!” and various grunting when players skate into each other…its all “with the pass” the entire game. I actually thought it was “get the pass” until recently. Konami also butchered the national anthem at the beginning of Double Dribble (the arcade version).
5. “Victoly!” – Samurai Shodown – There were several versions of this SNK game and all of them had some level of bad engrish. At the end of each match of the earlier versions on the screen it would say “Victoly” – which in my book, is fantastic.
4. “I am error” - Zelda II – This great statement made by the old guy who lives in a big house (which looks small from the outside) in Ruto. Turns out this was actually, well, an error as his name was supposed to be “Errol.”
3. “You are the master of lock picking” – Resident Evil - before there was endless key cards you, Jill, were the master of unlocking. There’s also the famous “you were almost a Jill Sandwich” line that everyone seems to like. The original Resident Evil has some classic bad voice acting.
2. “A Winner is You” – Pro Wrestling (NES) – My personal favorite. Anytime you won a match in Pro Wrestling you could look forward to being told the obvious…its also a great thing to rub in your friends face…that douche always takes The Amazon, what with his stupid face grab. I could totally take Kin Corn Karn with Star Man… all I needed was several jumping reverse kicks. Watch out Fighter Hiyabusa…you’re next! I’ve always thought “A Winner is You” would look good on a t-shirt.
1. “All Your Base Are Belongs to Us” - Zero Wing – Could it be anything else? This entire game has tons of terrible dialogue. One of the original internet phenoms, “All your base are belong to us” can be found on bumper stickers, t-shirts, raverland, and every nook and cranny of the internet. Watch the clip below and see the entire scene which is filled with other terrible dialogue. I want to know who they got to actually say the lines like that. Its truly amazing, and the worst dialogue in the history of video game, nothing else comes close.