Get Him to the Greek Quotes

Posted on April 7, 2011 by Corey

With Arthur coming out this weekend, this is as good a time as any to revisit the Russell Brand/Jonah Hill comedy Get Him to the Greek. The best quotes from Get Him to the Greek.

Aldous Snow: This is it, Aaron. This is rock n’ roll. Did you enjoy the party?

Aldous Snow: When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

Sergio Roma: You can’t outrun me! I’m black!

Sergio Roma: Go home. Movie’s over. Get the fuck out of here.

Aldous Snow: [as he is watching TV] Didn’t I have sex with her once?

[Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV]

Aldous Snow: Yeah, I did.

Daphne Binks: I can’t wait to sit around for 4 days and watch “Gossip Girl.”

Daphne Binks: I want to have a threesome.

Sergio Roma: If he tells you to stick the drugs in your ass, you stick them in your ass.

Aaron Green: [has just been injected with adrenaline] I’m alive!

Aaron Green: I feel like I’m in “2 Fast 2 Furious.”

Aldous Snow: We’re gonna fuck these two girls.

Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.

Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?

Aaron Green: Brunette.

Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.

Sergio Roma: You tell him that you loved “African Child.”

Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There’s one of me eating cheese off some girl’s titties.

Aaron Green: Please just lie to me and say I didn’t miss another awesome party.

Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.

Sergio Roma: Shut up. Don’t speak.

Jonathan Snow: That’s the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.

Sergio Roma: Go get your Destiny.

Sergio Roma: [in Aaron's dream] Look. I’m eating my own head.

Aldous Snow: What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there’s a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it’s peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

Aldous Snow: Your brain is full of lollipops, rainbows, and cheese.

Limousine Driver in London: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?

Aaron Green: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.

Sergio Roma: You’ve been mind-fucked before?

Aaron Green: I don’t think so.

Sergio Roma: I’m mind-fucking you right now.

Aaron Green: You are?

Sergio Roma: Can’t you feel my dick fucking your mind?

Aaron Green: No, I can’t really feel anything.

Sergio Roma: See? That’s it. That’s the art of it. I’m mind-fucking the shit out of you.

Aaron Green: Well I hope you’re wearing a condom cause I have a dirt mind.

Sergio Roma: [intense] Time to get our mind-fuck on.

Sergio Roma: [in a text] Where the fuck are you? I am gonna kill you. Smiley face.

Sergio Roma: Where are you? Why haven’t you called? I’m calling you right now and I just got hit by a motherfucking car.

Jonathan Snow: I’m responsible for your talent, son. I wrote all your songs off the tip of my cock.

Aldous Snow: Yeah, I just don’t get how talent can be contained in one’s spunk.

Aaron Green: I think I just got raped.

Aldous Snow: [handing him a joint] Only one thing to do.

Aaron Green: [taking a hit] Uh, guys? What is this stuff? My heart’s going really fast.

Aldous Snow: Oh, it’s a bit of this, a bit of that. It’s called a Jeffrey. It’s mostly weed, with a bit of opium as well… ground-up E’s… heroin… Clorox…

Aaron Green: I think I’m having a heart attack.

Aldous Snow: Aaron, look at what you’re wearing. Do you think that now you live in Seattle, you’re grunge or something? You look like a lesbian.

Aaron Green: Play the song, man.

Aaron Green: [Aaron has a balloon full of heroin up his ass] Oh, no.

Aldous Snow: What?

Aaron Green: I have to sneeze… and I’m afraid that if I do… my bowels will evacuate…

Aldous Snow: [Lars Ulrich enters scene] Oh, Enter Sandman.

Aaron Green: [as Sergio is chasing after them in a hotel lobby] This is the longest hallway of all time!

Aldous Snow: It’s Kubrickian!

Aldous Snow: This is not an appropriate time to say “namaste”.

Aldous Snow: When you hear about someone and then you meet them… That’s happening now.

Destiny: Wanna sing hairy-oke?

Sergio Roma: This is what old pussy used to look like in the 70′s.

Daphne Binks: I’m fuckin’ psyched.

Aaron Green: I’m not sucking his dick, that’s like 100%.

Sergio Roma: Stop smiling like that. You look like an 8 year old who just discovered his first boner.

Aaron Green: …Well I don’t have one so…

Sergio Roma: I’ve got six fuckin’ kids! Do you know how many Air Jordans six black kids wear?

Pharrell Williams: How do I look?

Sergio Roma: Man, lose the pink. It’s not gangster.

Pharrell Williams: That’s your problem. Everything is gangster with you.

Sergio Roma: The name of the song is “I’m Gangsta!”

Aaron Green: Are you Paul Krugman?

Paul Krugman: Uh, yes.

Aaron Green: My dad loves your shit.

Aaron Green: Do you know the lyrics to “African Child”?

Smiling African Drummer: I don’t know the lyrics. I just bang the drum and do the African face.

[He shows Aaron his version of playing the African drum]

Aaron Green: Across the mystic desert, is a desert that is mystic.

Aldous Snow: I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was in Darfur, or Rwanda, or Zimbabwe, or one of ‘em, and I thought, ‘this isn’t right, is it?’ And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn’t.

Aaron Green: Don’t be a bitch dude, Let me get my smoke on.

Pharrell Williams: You’re five zippers away from “Thriller”.

Sergio Roma: Oh, and you’re one shirt away from Carlton, muthafucka.

Aaron Green: [Dildo violently rubbed against his face] When’s the last time you Purelled that thing?

Aaron Green: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you’re just a fucking junkie and you’re smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.

Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.

Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?

Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.

Aaron Green: [at a club] What’s up man?

Tom Felton: Hey.

Aaron Green: I’m here with Aldous Snow, so we have a table in the back.

Tom Felton: [not interested] Great.

Aaron Green: Feel free to bring Professor Snape. Come by, we’ll play some late night Quidditch.

Tom Felton: Just leave it, you…

[walks away]

Aaron Green: Right. Not everyone cares.

Aldous Snow: How’s the weather down there?

Jackie Q: Wet.

The Hangover 2 Trailer… Same Movie?

Posted on April 6, 2011 by Corey

Hmmm… I don’t know. We loved The Hangover and it was truly one of the best comedies ever. Also, we’ll be first in line for the sequel. We’re also pretty confident it will be funny. That said, watch The Hangover 2 trailer below, and I gotta be honest… it seems like the exact same movie. Its looks funny, but I’m going to have to place the Hangover 2 on notice. You can’t just replace a tiger with a monkey, and a baby with an old Thai man. I’m sure it will be great… but I’m officially worried.

Hangover 2 Movie Trailer by teasertrailer

Zangief Kid (aka Little Zangief) – Casey Heynes Bully Smackdown

Posted on March 31, 2011 by Corey

Check out Zangief Kid (a.k.a “Little Zangief”) who was being picked on by a smaller kid. The taller sixteen year old boy Casey Heynes, who in turn retaliates by a serious smackdown. Casey has been nicknamed Zangief by the Internet referring to the pro-wrestler character Zangief from the popular video game series Street Fighter. Its a combination of his size, red shirt and of course his take down that looks somewhat like Zangief’s Spinning Piledriver. This all went down in Australia… bitches are saying he should have gotten a teacher, but online he’s being looked at as a hero. Check it out, he’s pretty badass.

President Obama On Japan: “I Got Marquette Going to the Final Four”

Posted on March 16, 2011 by Corey

Washington D.C. – In a press conference attended by 103 major news media officials, including members of the White House Press Corps, the Associated Press and ESPN, when pressed into questioning about the current crisis in Japan President Obama immediately replied “I got Marquette going to the Final Four. Yeah, I like Marquette really coming on like a Tsunami from the East.” The nation’s highest ranking basketball fan followed up with presenting his Presidential Bracket.

The President continued, “I like that Jimmy Fredette kid at BYU, so got them coming out of the Southeast. Duke is a real power house, I like them coming out of the West. Oh, and Kansas, they are a real natural disaster, am I right? They are like a tidal wave of epic destruction… on the court. Wait, so what was your question?”

President Obama later named Dick Vitale to his cabinet as the official United States Federal Secretary of Yelling.

Monkeys Pull Some Guy’s Pants Down – Hysterical!

Posted on March 3, 2011 by Corey

Monkeys=Awesome
Someone getting their pants pulled down=Awesome
Monkeys pulling someone’s pants down? = Epic

Link:

Top 25 Charlie Sheen Quotes – Winning.

Posted on March 2, 2011 by Corey

Charlie Sheen is epic. Charlie Sheen has porn star goddesses living with him. Unless you are living under a rock, you’ve seen the warlock that is Charlie Sheen on fire recently, appearing everywhere, spewing venom and craziness in the wake of his show number 1 rated show, Two and a Half Men, being taken off the air. I’ve never seen Two and a Half Men, but it is now my favorite show. It appears that Charlie Sheen finally has the power to beat up Chuck Norris and Mr. T at the same time. The guy has become a human quote machine, so enjoy his 25 best quotes… so far. We are sure there are more to come so feel free to add any we missed.

25. “I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”

24. “Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”

23. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

22. “You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

21. “If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ “It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

20. “I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”

19. “Can’t is the cancer of happening.”

18. “Wow. What does that mean? I’m bi-WINNING.”

17. “I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”

16. “C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”

15. “Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”

14. “It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don’t have time for these clowns.”

13. “You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

12. “I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps.”

11. “I’m an F-18, bro.”

10. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”

9. “I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitching and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin’.”

8. “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

7. “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”

6. “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

5. “[CBS] picked a fight with a warlock.”

4. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

3. “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

2. “I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”

and of course the easy pick for number 1…

1. “Winning.”

The Greatest Rap Album (Cover) of All Time – Slam Dunk’n Hoes

Posted on February 26, 2011 by Corey

Slam Dunk’n Hoes by Top Dog is clearly the greatest rap album cover of all time… enjoy! Its also the most literal album cover ever as Top Dog clearly knows something about Slam Dunk’n Hoes.

James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub Party!

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Corey

This Saturday Night Live sketch of Eddie Murphy doing James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub Party has really stood the test of time. Its still one of the funniest sketches in Saturday Night Live’s history. Notice that its not something that needed to be done over and over and over again.

Douche of the Year: Mel Gibson (Winona Ryder Puts Nail in the Coffin)

Posted on December 16, 2010 by Corey

Lets go through the list:

Mel Gibson, who made anti-Semitic remarks to an officer after a DUI arrest in 2006, is currently under investigation by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department on possible domestic violence charges involving ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. This past summer tapes of derogatory and profanity-laced tirades, allegedly by Gibson against Grigorieva, were leaked online. Gotta admit that Gibson probably got played by the ex. Still, that doesn’t stop him from being a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, sexist douchebag. For these reasons, the guy who made the movie about Jesus is Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year.

Winona Ryder talks about a run in with Mel Gibson in the January issue of GQ.

“Fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk, I was with my friend, who’s gay. He made a really horrible gay joke.”

After it came up that Ryder is Jewish, Gibson “said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it,” Ryder says.

“It was just this weird, weird moment,” she continues. “I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

Oven dodgers! For this reason and plenty more, Mel Gibson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year. Total Doucher, Fuck You Mel Gibson!

Sofia Vergara – Celebrity Profile

Posted on December 7, 2010 by Corey

The buxom Columbian beauty has become a household name because of her role on Modern Family as trophy wife Gloria Delgado Pritchett. Still, Sofia Vergara has taken what could have been a pure eye candy role and shown real talent as a comedy actress… enough where she was nominated for an Emmy. The 38 year old is a natural blond who dies her hair dark for most of her roles.

Biography - Vergara was born in Barranquilla, Atlántico, Colombia. Her mother, Margarita Vergara Dávila de Vergara, is a homemaker, and her father, Julio Enrique Vergara Robayo, produced cattle for the meat industry.

Random Fact – Her nickname given to her by her family is “Toti”

Partial Filmography

2002 Big Trouble Nina
2003 Chasing Papi Cici
2004 The 24th Day Isabella
2004 Soul Plane Blanca
2005 Lords of Dogtown Amelia
2005 Four Brothers Sofi
2006 Grilled Loridonna
2006 National Lampoon’s Pledge This Herself
2008 Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns Cheryl
2009 Madea Goes to Jail T.T. Nominated — ALMA Award for Best Actress in Film
2011 The Smurfs Odile