30 Rock might be the funniest show on television right now… ok top 5? Well, the best part about it is Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, the Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric and Liz Lemon’s (played by Tina Fey) friend and boss. 30 Rock’s season premiere is tonight and here are his 15 best quotes from the show so far. Are we missing any?
15. C’mon Lemon, what do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus.
14. “Donaghy saves GE… marries your mom”
13. Jack Donaghy: You have to fire ten percent of your staff.
Liz Lemon: What?
Jack Donaghy: We have to synergize backward overflow.
12. Lemon: “I’m feeling pretty drunk.”
Jack: “Well, it’s business drunk, it’s like rich drunk. Either way, it’s legal to drive.”
11. Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect.
10. Jack: Alfredo’s, 2 PM.
Liz Lemon: I’m not dressed for that.
Jack: You’re dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
9. Jack: One minute you’re newlyweds, making love on the floor of the Concorde. Then, before you know it, your lawyers are arguing over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in.
Liz Lemon: You taught your dog to poop in a box?
Jack: Bianca did. But, damn it, I want that box.
8. Jack Donaghy: Now let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system.
Frank Rossitano: My client has no memory of that.
Jack Donaghy: I also would have accepted ‘You can’t prove that’s the Governor’s semen’.
7. Jack: I haven’t met your boyfriend.
Liz Lemon: His name’s Floyd.
Jack: That’s unfortunate.
6. Kenneth Parcell: “Oh, uh, no, sir. I don’t vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord’s name!”
Jack: “That’s Republican. We count those.”
5. Jack: I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.
4. [Jack is in a museum facing a painting, waiting for Liz Lemon to meet him there. Liz appears behind him without announcing her arrival]
Jack: You’ve been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz Lemon: How do you do that, without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but… here we are.
3. Liz Lemon: Hey Jack, do you treat me any differently because I’m a woman?
Jack Donaghy: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.
2. Jack: “The Italians have a saying, Lemon: ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ And, although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.”
1. Lemon: “Why are you wearing a tux?”
Jack: “It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”