Category Archives: Sex

Douche of the Day – Dorothy Richards – The Bambi Killing, Shovel Swinging Septuagenarian

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Dorothy Richards of Euclid, Ohio is our oldest Douche of the Day so far… she earns the title for beating a baby deer to death with a shovel. Richards was arrested when three of her neighbors told police that she had beat the fawn to death. The old lady beat Bambi to death after finding it messing with her flower garden.

The city’s cruelty charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The state charge (if pursued) is punishable by a maximum 90 days in jail and $750 fine. Unfortunately for Richards, the story is picking up steam nationwide. This means that the community will be under pressure to throw the book at the Bambi hating, shovel swinging, septuagenarian. Looks like Dorothy Richard’s might be soon be wearing Michael Vick’s other jersey… an orange jumpsuit.

Here’s hoping the state scores one for the fawn… smile Dorothy Richards, you are Buzz Pirates’ Douche of the Day!

Picture Heather Graham – Celebrity Profile

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Heather Graham is super hot Hollywood blond whose still got it. With those big eyes, its like she never ages, and she’s been around longer then you’d think. Maybe its her reported dabbling with witchcraft and spells that’s given Heather staying power. Heather Graham made a huge splash baring all as Rollergirl in Boogie Nights, but has been wowing male audiences for over 20 years all the way back to License to Drive. She proved her acting chops early in Drugstore Cowboys and has done well in comedies like Bowfinger and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. She’s got model looks and still making good in comedies by playing an escort in the upcoming (Buzz Pirates endorsed) movie The Hangover.

Famous Relationships: artist Chris Doyle, musicians Jason Falkner and Adam Ant, and actors James Woods (met on set of Diggstown), Kyle MacLachlan, Elias Koteas, Heath Ledger, Elijah Blue, and Edward Burns.

Bio: The oldest of two children, her younger sister, Aimee Graham, is also an actress and writer. Their mother, Joan, is a teacher and noted author of children’s books, and father, James Graham, a retired FBI agent. Born January 29, 1970…find me a hotter 39 year old.

Got the Performance Bug Early: In 1986, she appeared on a special “Teen Week” episode of the NBC-TV game show Scrabble. Her parents were not big fans of her career choice but were supportive driving her to early auditions for 80′s TV show Growing Pains.

Selected Filmography:

  • Baby on Board (2009) Angela
  • Ex-terminators (2009)Alex
  • The Hangover (2009)Jade
  • Mary (2008) Elizabeth Younger
  • Miss Conception (2008) Georgina Scott
  • Adrift in Manhattan (2007) Rose Phipps
  • Broken (2007) Hope
  • Gray Matters (2007)Gray Baldwin
  • A West Texas Children s Story (2007) Cassie s Aunt
  • Bobby (2006) Angela
  • The Oh in Ohio (2006) Justine
  • Cake (2005)
  • Blessed (2004)
  • Anger Management (2003)
  • Killing Me Softly (2002)
  • Hope Springs (2003) Mandy
  • The Guru (2003) Sharrona
  • From Hell (2001) Mary Kelly
  • Say It Isn t So (2001)Josephine Wingfield
  • Sidewalks of New York (2001) Annie
  • Committed (2000) Joline
  • Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) Felicity Shagwell
  • Bowfinger (1999) Daisy
  • Alien Love Triangle (1998) Elizabeth
  • Lost in Space (1998) Judy Robinson
  • Two Girls and A Guy (1998) Carla
  • Boogie Nights (1997) Rollergirl
  • Nowhere (1997) Lilith
  • Scream 2 (1997) Casey in Stab
  • Entertaining Angels: The Dorothy Day Story (1996) Maggie
  • Swingers (1996) Lorraine
  • Desert Winds (1995) Jackie
  • Run For Cover (1995)
  • Toughguy (1995) Olive
  • Don’t Do It (1994) Suzanna
  • Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1994) Cowgirl Heather
  • Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (1994) Mary Kennedy Taylor
  • Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Elizabeth
  • The Ballad of Little Jo (1993) Mary Addie
  • Diggstown (1992) Emily Forrester
  • Guilty as Charged (1992) Kimberly
  • Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) Annie Blackburn
  • Shout (1991) Sara Benedict
  • I Love You to Death (1990) Bridget
  • Drugstore Cowboy (1989) Nadine
  • License to Drive (1988) Mercedes

Tea Baggers! Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

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I don’t think our Founding Fathers had this in mind…. Tea Bagging…

From the new “Tea Party” :

“In 1773, a handful of men dumped tea into the Boston Harbor. That one act set in motion a chain of events that birthed the greatest nation on earth. But today, many Americans feel helpless as they watch an imperialistic government destroy our Constitution and 237 years of liberty.

The first American Tea Party birthed a nation. The second American Tea Party could help save it!”

Started on CNBC, where someone in Chicago came up with an updated version of the Boston Tea Party to protest the Obama bailouts and stimulus plan. The protest was scheduled for today… tax day… a relatively inspired idea, right? “No taxation without representation” was the rallying cry of the original protesters, who through British tea overboard in Boston Harbor. But, my goodness, is there anyone involved with this party that never heard of the modern day use of “Tea bagging”. For that reason today the Tea Party has officially became famous for all the wrong reasons and conservative Republicans furthered their image as out of touch, old and clueless.

C’mon… who let these people go outside with those signs! I bet there’s liuntitledke, 30,000 people nationwide with a Fantasy Football team or screen name of “tea bagger or tea bagging” or some such thing. There’s even a character on Prison Break named T-Bag. Do your homework people!

The Urban Dictionary must be lighting up… here are they’re definitions of tea bagging…

1. The act of putting your balls in and out of a persons mouth.
2. The act of lowering one’s balls onto someones face, or into their mouth while they are laying down. Kind of resembles dipping a tea bag into a hot cup of water.
3. When a guy lowers his junk, or balls, onto someones face, or into their mouth, while they are lying on the ground. Resembles dunking a tea bag into a hot cup of water.

Smile Tea Party… you tea bagging fools… you are Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

Megan Fox is the New Wonder Woman… Psyche!

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Ever wonder how a web hoax is born? In a movie rumor that had fanboys drooling and pretty much every regular guy drooling too, uber-hottie Megan Fox was announced to be playing Wonder Woman. The Transformers beauty who became in instant sensation seems like the perfect fit for the role? There’s one catch though…the news is fake. Wonder-Who.com revealed that Fox would suit up as DC Comics heroine Wonder Woman in an upcoming big-budget movie.

Various studio types have been trying to get the lasso and invisible plane on the screen for years. Several other stars such as Jennifer Lopez, Sandra Bullock, Rachel Bilson, and Catherine Zeta-Jones have been rumored to be up for the role Lynda Carter was famous for. Producer Joel Silver was once on board. Buffy and Firefly Joss Whedon told Entertainment Weekly (my favorite magazine) the following in 2006 when he was attached to writing a Wonder Woman script:

“Besides [Wonder Woman's] great origin story, there’s nothing from the comics that felt right 100 percent, no iconic canon story that must be told. Batman has it made – he’s got the greatest rogues gallery ever, he’s got Gotham City. The Bat writes himself. With Wonder Woman, you’re writing from whole cloth, but trying to make it feel like you didn’t. To make it feel like it’s existed for 60 years, even though you’re making it up as you go along. But who she, and what the movie, is about, thematically, has never been a problem for me. But the steps along the way, it could be so easy for them to feel wrong. I won’t settle. She wouldn’t let me settle.”

Warner Bros. has since confirmed that the Wonder-Who.com site was “complete B.S.” By the time you read this, the site may be closed down. Still we can still “wonder” what might have been. Hell, I’d go see Wonder Woman if Megan Fox was in the lead. Although, for all the male fans that Megan Fox has, I “wonder” if she has any female fans. Most women probably view her as “that skinny bitch from that toy robot movie. That said, it is possible that someone making a big version of this movie would pick a female actress with a broader appeal. Still, maybe this rumor will put the idea of Megan Fox in the right executive’s head… at least one of them.

Update: Looks like she won’t be Wonder Woman (yet), but has signed on to play an angel opposite the Wrestler’s Mickey Rourke in director Mitch Glazer‘s drama Passion Plays. The 1950s Los Angeles-set movie finds Fox’s character, described as a slender beauty with wings who is part of a carnival, helping a down-in-the-skids trumpeter (Rourke) be redeemed.

Weekly Booty – Awesome Places to Have Sex, More Sarah Palin Porn, & the Desecration of Lord Stanley

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weekly bootyWelcome to the Weekly Booty, a Friday feature at Buzz Pirates where we recap some of the best loot we’ve dugg up on the net in the past week. Check out some of these treasures matey…

(yes – this is a mix of last week and this week, thanks to Corey’s awesome post about Barbra Streisand. That, or we were just lazy last week. )

  • Cracked.com – 9 Awesome Places to have Sex (and the horrific consequences). Nuff said.
  • Cuzoolge.com – Cuzzy racks NBA teams the greatest way possible – using a scale of hot girls.
  • GrandmasterB.com – Say hello to Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Heff’s new playthings. GrandmasterB has some nice eye candy. What he doesn’t show you is how feisty these little firecrackers are. Apparently the Shannon Twins have a habit of getting arrested for battery.
    Karissa Kristina Shannon mug shot
  • BannedInHollywood.com – Awesomely ironic pictures. Go ahead…jump into that tunnel. Just do it!
  • Blog of Hilarity – Looks like we were not the only ones with the idea to put Sarah Palin in Porn. As Blog of Hilarity reports, a new adult film is in the works starring Lisa Ann. Its called “Nailin’ Palin“. Awesome.
  • Holy Taco – Remember Garbage Pail Kids? Well Holy Taco sure does. Check out their post that shows Sarah Palin as a Garbage Pail Kid – Sarah CUDA.
  • Tasty Booze – Shower Sex just got a whole lot easier with “Shower Power”, which gives you something to hold to when getting dirty while getting clean. Its about time. My soap dish has been replaced enough times already.
  • The new NHL season is under way (go Devils!), but Def Leppard’s lead singer Joe Elliot needs to learn Stanley Cup 101. Look at him take Lord Stanley’s Cup and place it upside down!

Weekly Booty – Drunk Robots, Chalkboard Fatality & a Hung Weatherman

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weekly bootyWelcome to the Weekly Booty, a Friday feature at Buzz Pirates where we recap some of the best loot we’ve dugg up on the net in the past week. Check out some of these treasures matey…

  • Gizmodo – Funny…it seems that all of our favorite gadgets are always related to booze. But when you can combine booze and Star Wars…what’s not to love? Behold Bar2-D2, you’re very own drink serving robot.
  • Yep Yep – Who said we couldn’t have Mortal Combat powers? All you need is a chalkboard. FATALITY!
  • Things are looking “up” for the weather this weekend.

    Hung Weatherman

  • BannedInHollywood.com – Check out this awesome headline BannedInHollywood found on ESPN. I can’t wait to see the headline when the Oregon State Beavers play the South Carolina Game COCKS – “Cocks Pound Beavers”.

    beavers trap trojans
    Cocks rock

  • In keeping with this week’s phallic theme, check out the way Rachael Ray can work a shaft.

Sarah Palin Is In PORN! [NSFW]

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Literally! Our friends at AdultMosaic.com have outdone themselves this time. Check out this mosaic of Sarah Palin, composed entirely of porn. If you were expecting to see Sarah smoking a stiffy with those hooker painted DSLs, we are sorry to disappoint. There is no debating…this is pretty damn cool. Click the image for a close up version to see the raunchy details.

Sarah Palin Porn

Weekly Booty – Sarah Palin Corn Maze, Video Game Bar & Jenna’s Vaj

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weekly bootyWelcome to the Weekly Booty, a Friday feature at Buzz Pirates where we recap some of the best loot we’ve dugg up on the net in the past week. Check out some of these treasures matey…

  • Gizmodo – Video Game Bar Tackles Two Life-Hindering Addictions at Once. We gotta have one now!
  • PerezHilton – Jenna Jameson is pregnant with twins! Damn…hasn’t her vagina had enough by now?
  • The UK Sun – Zeppelin baby Zeppelin! ROCK legends LED ZEPPELIN are set for a reunion tour after singer ROBERT PLANT finally caved in and agreed to join them.
  • We love Sarah Palin. Mostly because she gives us lots of stupid shit to write about. But we don’t love her as much as those crazy red blooded Ohioans. Check out the portrait they did of her…in a corn field!

    Sarah Palin Corn Maze

  • WELT Online – This is not another stupid Superhero movie. Yes…I swear this is a real person in a real suit. Swiss pilot Yves ‘FusionMan’ Rossy, the first man in the world to fly under a jet-fitted wing, successfully flew over the English Channel today.

    real life rocket man

  • NothingToxic.com – Got a craving for some porn, but stuck at work? Not to fear…check out these Safe For Work [SFW] Porn videos from NothingToxic.com.

    Safe For Work Porn Videos
    I love watching a two girls play the harmonica at the same time.

Best Picture of Barack Obama Ever [NSFW]

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Politics are definitely the hot topic as of late. So in keeping up with the buzz in true Buzz Pirates fashion, we present to you the best picture of Barack Obama ever…a mosaic composed entirely of porn.

Barack Obama Porn

Check out AdultMosaic.com to create your own Porn Mosaic by uploading any picture you want. Its the perfect solution for any gift giving occasion – a portrait of your wife for your anniversary? Or how about a nice family picture for Mother’s Day?