Douche of the Day – Dorothy Richards – The Bambi Killing, Shovel Swinging Septuagenarian

Dorothy Richards of Euclid, Ohio is our oldest Douche of the Day so far… she earns the title for beating a baby deer to death with a shovel. Richards was arrested when three of her neighbors told police that she had beat the fawn to death. The old lady beat Bambi to death after finding it messing with her flower garden.

The city’s cruelty charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The state charge (if pursued) is punishable by a maximum 90 days in jail and $750 fine. Unfortunately for Richards, the story is picking up steam nationwide. This means that the community will be under pressure to throw the book at the Bambi hating, shovel swinging, septuagenarian. Looks like Dorothy Richard’s might be soon be wearing Michael Vick’s other jersey… an orange jumpsuit.

Here’s hoping the state scores one for the fawn… smile Dorothy Richards, you are Buzz Pirates’ Douche of the Day!

Picture Heather Graham – Celebrity Profile

Heather Graham is super hot Hollywood blond whose still got it. With those big eyes, its like she never ages, and she’s been around longer then you’d think. Maybe its her reported dabbling with witchcraft and spells that’s given Heather staying power. Heather Graham made a huge splash baring all as Rollergirl in Boogie Nights, but has been wowing male audiences for over 20 years all the way back to License to Drive. She proved her acting chops early in Drugstore Cowboys and has done well in comedies like Bowfinger and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. She’s got model looks and still making good in comedies by playing an escort in the upcoming (Buzz Pirates endorsed) movie The Hangover.

Famous Relationships: artist Chris Doyle, musicians Jason Falkner and Adam Ant, and actors James Woods (met on set of Diggstown), Kyle MacLachlan, Elias Koteas, Heath Ledger, Elijah Blue, and Edward Burns.

Bio: The oldest of two children, her younger sister, Aimee Graham, is also an actress and writer. Their mother, Joan, is a teacher and noted author of children’s books, and father, James Graham, a retired FBI agent. Born January 29, 1970…find me a hotter 39 year old.

Got the Performance Bug Early: In 1986, she appeared on a special “Teen Week” episode of the NBC-TV game show Scrabble. Her parents were not big fans of her career choice but were supportive driving her to early auditions for 80’s TV show Growing Pains.

Selected Filmography:

  • Baby on Board (2009) Angela
  • Ex-terminators (2009)Alex
  • The Hangover (2009)Jade
  • Mary (2008) Elizabeth Younger
  • Miss Conception (2008) Georgina Scott
  • Adrift in Manhattan (2007) Rose Phipps
  • Broken (2007) Hope
  • Gray Matters (2007)Gray Baldwin
  • A West Texas Children s Story (2007) Cassie s Aunt
  • Bobby (2006) Angela
  • The Oh in Ohio (2006) Justine
  • Cake (2005)
  • Blessed (2004)
  • Anger Management (2003)
  • Killing Me Softly (2002)
  • Hope Springs (2003) Mandy
  • The Guru (2003) Sharrona
  • From Hell (2001) Mary Kelly
  • Say It Isn t So (2001)Josephine Wingfield
  • Sidewalks of New York (2001) Annie
  • Committed (2000) Joline
  • Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) Felicity Shagwell
  • Bowfinger (1999) Daisy
  • Alien Love Triangle (1998) Elizabeth
  • Lost in Space (1998) Judy Robinson
  • Two Girls and A Guy (1998) Carla
  • Boogie Nights (1997) Rollergirl
  • Nowhere (1997) Lilith
  • Scream 2 (1997) Casey in Stab
  • Entertaining Angels: The Dorothy Day Story (1996) Maggie
  • Swingers (1996) Lorraine
  • Desert Winds (1995) Jackie
  • Run For Cover (1995)
  • Toughguy (1995) Olive
  • Don’t Do It (1994) Suzanna
  • Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1994) Cowgirl Heather
  • Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (1994) Mary Kennedy Taylor
  • Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Elizabeth
  • The Ballad of Little Jo (1993) Mary Addie
  • Diggstown (1992) Emily Forrester
  • Guilty as Charged (1992) Kimberly
  • Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) Annie Blackburn
  • Shout (1991) Sara Benedict
  • I Love You to Death (1990) Bridget
  • Drugstore Cowboy (1989) Nadine
  • License to Drive (1988) Mercedes

Tea Baggers! Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

I don’t think our Founding Fathers had this in mind…. Tea Bagging…

From the new “Tea Party” :

“In 1773, a handful of men dumped tea into the Boston Harbor. That one act set in motion a chain of events that birthed the greatest nation on earth. But today, many Americans feel helpless as they watch an imperialistic government destroy our Constitution and 237 years of liberty.

The first American Tea Party birthed a nation. The second American Tea Party could help save it!”

Started on CNBC, where someone in Chicago came up with an updated version of the Boston Tea Party to protest the Obama bailouts and stimulus plan. The protest was scheduled for today… tax day… a relatively inspired idea, right? “No taxation without representation” was the rallying cry of the original protesters, who through British tea overboard in Boston Harbor. But, my goodness, is there anyone involved with this party that never heard of the modern day use of “Tea bagging”. For that reason today the Tea Party has officially became famous for all the wrong reasons and conservative Republicans furthered their image as out of touch, old and clueless.

C’mon… who let these people go outside with those signs! I bet there’s liuntitledke, 30,000 people nationwide with a Fantasy Football team or screen name of “tea bagger or tea bagging” or some such thing. There’s even a character on Prison Break named T-Bag. Do your homework people!

The Urban Dictionary must be lighting up… here are they’re definitions of tea bagging…

1. The act of putting your balls in and out of a persons mouth.
2. The act of lowering one’s balls onto someones face, or into their mouth while they are laying down. Kind of resembles dipping a tea bag into a hot cup of water.
3. When a guy lowers his junk, or balls, onto someones face, or into their mouth, while they are lying on the ground. Resembles dunking a tea bag into a hot cup of water.

Smile Tea Party… you tea bagging fools… you are Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

A Rod’s Wife Scores With Lenny Kravitz

Talk about a love triangle – or is it a diamond? NY Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez has split with his wife Cynthia Rodríguez after months of martial issues. But it doesn’t stop there. Add in a few celebrities, like Madonna and Lenny Kravitz and this really gets interesting.

First ARod has been spotted getting very close with Madonna, sometimes leaving her NY apartment after midnight. Madonna and Lenny Kravitz used to date back in the 90’s. So what does Cynthia do as ARod and Mad get cozy? She runs off to Paris to hook up with Lenny. I guess its a case of an eye for an eye…er…musician for a musician for the Rodriguez’s.

Where this leaves Madonna’s husband, Guy Ritchie is anyone’s guess. I guess he could make this love diamond a hexagon sexagon by nailing Kravitz ex-wife Lisa Bonnet.

How A-Rod has any time for baseball is beyond me. I bet he starts hitting a lot more home runs though!

ARod Hitting Lenny Kravitz

Verne Troyer Mini ME(at) Sex Tape

Oh holy grossness Batman! Looks like Verne Troyer, the 3-foot whatever actor who plays Mini Me has a sex tape. broke the eye scalding news yesterday. Of course, there was no way we could let this news pass the desk of Buzz Pirates without our professional opinion.

Mini Me Sex Tape

Ok, we get that people have some sick fetishes out there. To each their own. But really…who is going to want to watch this? Wouldn’t it kinda be like watching a matchbox car drive through the Lincoln Tunnel? And what about his girlfriend? It is just amazing what some people will do for love money. I am sure Verne is worth a couple of $million$. I guess this is a step up from blowing a gerbil for a chance at that loot. But who knows…maybe she really likes the Mini Meat.

Looks like the dealer who negotiated the Paris Hilton video is trying to move this to DVD. We’ve got a little advice for him…stick with the hot blondes.

If you can handle it, a clip of the video can be seen here. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Paulette Dean Daly the Latest Rocket Woman

Paulette Dean DalyThree days after creating HUGE media buzz about having a 10-year affair with country music star train wreck, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens is back on the front page again today. This time the NY Daily News is reporting that Roger had an affair with Paulette Dean Daly, the ex wife of pro golfer John Daly.

This latest news is another headline that appears to be aimed at tarnishing Roger Clemens’ reputation and ruining his “family man” image. Interestingly enough, the article we wrote about Roger and Mindy McCready only three days ago also received its source from the NY Daily News. Makes you wonder if the newspaper has something against The Rocket, doesn’t it? Perhaps they just miss bashing him while he was in pinstripes.

I have no inside information here, but this my guess as to what is going on. Roger Clemens is currently in the middle of suing former trainer Brian McNamee for defamation after the trainer accused Clemens of using performance enhancing drugs. In order to have a successful defamation suit, one needs to prove that their undamaged reputation has been harmed. So what better way for McNamee’s lawyers to defend the case than to show that Clemens doesn’t REALLY have a good reputation! If there is not a good reputation, then nothing could be harmed, case dismissed!

Roger and his “slicker n’ deer guts on a door nob” attorney Rusty Hardin, had better get crackin’. Right now the score is Brian McNamee’s laywers 2, Hardin ZERO!