This is not a fake Buzz Pirates news story…this is a live account of a pregnant waitress I saw at Hooters on Thursday night. I will not name the specific Hooters to protect the innocent(ish). Let’s just say its in a sinful city that you wouldn’t be surprised seeing a pregnant Hooters girl in.
Sign ‘o the times? Bad luck? I don’t know, but the 2 or 30 times I’ve been to Hooters, I was expecting a young, hot thing… not a pregnant chick! C’mon man, its depressing, uncomfortable and an awkward situation for all involved. I mean, if you are the chick, you were already working at Hooters, that’s your job, you can’t just quit because you have a bun in the oven. If you are the management at the Hooters you can’t just fire the girl…that’s not right. Still, people coming to Hooters are expecting cute little girls in cute little outfits…right? Got a bunch of pregnant chicks running around, sales will go in the toilet…and the manager is looking for a new job. Hooters is a place to eat wings and see some T&A, not somewhere to either A. feel bad for the staff or B. get off on some sort of weird fetish. A conundrum if there ever was one.
And if you are a patron, what do you do when you find out you’ve got the pregnant chick? Only the douchebagiest of guests will ask for a non preggers chick, even though all who enter Hooters’ hallowed doors expect, and quite frankly deserve a waitress who’s not with child.
In the guy world, here’s how it goes down at pretty much every table that this chick waits on: (for the purposes of this equation, we will assume 4 guys at the table).
Pregnant Hooters girl comes over, guys uncomfortably say hi, she takes drink order and walks away…
Guy 1: “Dude, what the fuck is up with that? A pregnant Hooters chick, what the hell?”
Guy 2: “Dude, I’d totally still hit it”
Guy 3: “Ehhh, that’s fucked, up. She’s fucking pregnant”
Guy 2: “Duuuude, whatever, she’s totally still hot, and her tits are fucking huuuge from being all preggers and shit”
Guy 3: “Guy 2, you are gross…you’d have sex with a pregnant chick? What if she’s all lactating and whatnot.”
Guy 2: “Whatever, you mean to tell me that if you were married, and your wife got pregnant, you wouldn’t have sex with her for 9 months? You’re totally full of shit”
Guy 3: “That’s 100% different”
Guy 2: “Guy 3, you are total pussy! Guy 4, you are with me, right? She’s totally still hot!”
Guy 3: “Whatever, bro, I know Guy 1 is with me…”
And so the debate would begin… much like it does every night this particular Hooters girl works. If you ask me, I’d feel gypped having gotten the pregnant Hooters girl. Still, at Buzz Pirates we don’t lie… we’d still hit it!