Category Archives: Big Business

Photosynth Allows More Boobs in Your Face

Posted on by
3

Last night Microsoft launched Photosynth, a new imaging tool that allows the home user to create 3D images by mashing together multiple images of the same thing from different angles and perspectives. You can then zoom in, zoom out, spin stuff around, and check it out at all different angles. It could be a pretty cool thing as long as Microsoft doesn’t ruin it by keeping it too “Microsoft”.

I am sure it will only be a matter of seconds before the porn industry is all over this. For example, what good blue blooded horny male wouldn’t want to take their mouse and spin this picture of Denise Milani around?

Denise Milani

To see more how PhotoSynth works, check out the video below. To see why you’d want to turn Denise Milani around, check out these pictures.

The Origin of Cuil, and Other Ridiculous Web Names

Posted on by
10

Search engine company Cuil.com launched last night. Wupeee, another search engine. Is it me, or does it seem that a new Web 2.0/Internet/Social Media company (which I am hereby coining as WISMs) pops up every single day hour? And apparently they all got the memo stating the more ridiculous the name, the more venture funding investors will throw at them. Drop a vowel…have another million. Create a brand new homonym that violates the rules of phonetics…that’s worth an easy five mil.

In order to understand what is up with these ridiculous web service names, we decided to do a little research to uncover the origin of some of these bizarre names. The truth may shock you (but we can’t promise you’ll find it here)…

Cuil

 Little known fact about search engine mistress and Cuil founder Anna Patterson – she’s a blackjack junky. Hoping to cache in on a fraction of the success Google had, Anna plans to take her millions straight to the tables. Her favorite saying “See You In Las Vegas” is immortalized in the name of her company. Unfortunately, cuilv.com was taken. On weekends, Anna and co-founder Russell Power can be found in Vega under the pseudonyms, Max & Hootie McBoob.

google

 Money is money and that is all that matters for Google founder’s Larry Page and Sergey Brin, who disliked each other from the get go. Their first argument – the correct spelling of Googol, which is the huge number 1 followed by 100 zeros. Their second – why the company shouldn’t be called Ten Duotrigintillion. Interestingly, Google recently announced that they’ve indexed their 1 Trillionth web url. They were all stoked until they realized that 1 Trillion is only 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000001 percent of 1 Googol. Looks like they still have a long way to go.

ubuntu

 Zulu for “humanity”…or Swahili for “stupid idiots think they can make money giving away free software.” Although in business since 2004, the Linux support company, Canonical Ltd., is looking forward to the initial release of their business plan, code named “Panhandlin’ Pete“. The primary component of the plan is asking people how they should make money.

twitter

 Twitter is the popular microblogging platform that is known for being extremely addicting, and extremely unreliable. The bizarre thing is that no one seems to care that it goes down more than a $2 hooker at a truck stop. Although the word “Twitter” is commonly mistaken as being derived from the sound of a little birdie that sits on your shoulder and tweets sweet messages in your ear, the real origin of Twitter’s name is far more technical than that. It is the sound made by the rusty hard disk spinning on the ancient 386 server running the application.

Plurk

 Canada’s answer to Twitter. This one is simple – its just another f***ed up Canadian word. Similar to words like tuque, mukluk, and canuck, Plurk is a word of Canadian origin that refers to a flying reptile indigenous to the the subartic region of Canada’s Northwest Territories. While Twitter has a little birdie that tweets sweet messages in your ear, a Plurk is more likely to chomp your ear off in one bite. Oh…and apparently Plurk was developed by the A-Team. So if you have a problem, if no one can help, you can find them in Mississauga, Ontario (I’m talking to you Twitter).

Flickr

 Flickr was accidentally founded in 2004 by husband and wife team Caterina Fake and Stuart Butterfield, while developing tools for an adult oriented online game called Licker. Realizing that the game was incredibly stupid, but users loved the photo sharing capabilities, the duo decided to append the “F” and rebrand the photo tools as Flicker. Unfortunately, the domain name was already taken by a site devoted to nose picking. Fake and Butterfield decided to drop the “e”, forming Flickr.com, starting this entire craze of messed up company names. Flickr was started in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Summary: We blame Canada for all the messed up company names.

This post was originally published by BuzzPirates.com

Budweiser: Koning van Bieren

Posted on by
3

Budweiser: Belgium For BeerThat would be Dutch for “King of Beers”. After many attempts, Belgian-Brazilian brewer InBev has finally been able to woo Anheuser-Busch board members who agreed to sell the company for $70 a share. The $52 billion dollar takeover makes InBev the largest brewer in the world.

I can’t help but to think a classic piece of Americana has been sold off from under our noses. Gone are the days of NASCAR, double-wides, and ice cold Buds. Get used to the new motif: Chocolate, Waffles, and luke warm Budweiser. Poor residents of St. Louis, Missouri. They must feel like the citizens of Springfield when Mr. Burns sold the Nuclear Power Plant to the Germans.

Meanwhile, InBev continues its quest for global domination one beer at a time. In addition to all Anheuser-Busch products, they are also the owners of Beck’s, Stella Artois, Bass Ale, St. Pauli Girl, Labatt, Löwenbräu, and about 295 others. Check out the entire list of beers owned by InBev. Something definitely doesn’t add up here. Most of these beers don’t suck. Maybe this is good for Budweiser after all.

Below is a map of InBev global occupation. Watch out Greenland Brewhouse! InBev is coming for you!

InBev Beers

Comcast.net Succumbs to Hackers

Posted on by
2

Comcast Gets RoXedWay to go Comcast! Your website may be back up after being down all night but your users are still without email. Haven’t you piss off enough people already? Why not add hmm…..how about every single customer to that group!

Apparently hackers hijacked the Comcast.net domain name last night from domain registrar Network Solutions. The website went down shortly before 11pm last night and was replaced with a page that said they had been “RoXed”, which is a slang term adopted by the gamer community to make them sound more like hackers. Derived from “Rocks”, anyone who is RoxoRz is awesome and if you’ve been RoXed by them, they own you.

You couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you Comcast? Clearly this is retaliation for your recent throttling of P2P traffic which left hackers without their free copies of Grand Theft Auto and other priceless warez.

No P2P Bandwidth Makes Hackerz Angry Boyz…