Tax Day Freebies 2011!

It seems like every year now more and more companies offer free stuff on tax day. The Saturday tax day may have mixed up the offers a bit, but act fast or miss out on 2011 tax day giveaways.

  • Arby’s: On April 15 at participating locations, receive one order of Value Curly Fries for free between the hours of 11 am and 10 pm. To receive this coupon you must first “like” Arby’s Facebook page.
  • Bally Total Fitness: For current members only, sign up by April 21 for a free 30-minute personal training session at your participating Bally’s gym.
  • Chemistry: Through April 18, receive 3 free membership days and a free personality test.
  • Chili’s: On April 18 at participating locations, receive a free appetizer or dessert via this printable coupon.
  • Cinnabon: On April 18, from 6 pm until 8 pm at participating stores, get two free Cinnabon Bites.
  • H&R Block: At participating locations, receive a free tax extension.
  • HydroMassage: Through April 18, receive a free hydromassage at participating locations. Appointments are encouraged.
  • Maggie Moo’s: On April 18, from 3 pm to 6 pm at participating stores, get a free mini ice cream sundae.
  • McCormick & Schmick’s: On April 15 at participating stores, bar guests receive a free $10.40 certificate.
  • Office Depot: Through April 23, receive free downloadable tax forms, make up to 25 copies of your tax return, or shred up to 5 lbs. of paper for free via this coupon.

Discounts

  • Bally Total Fitness: For non-members only, sign up for a 2-Year Premier National Access membership for $418 (a savings of $61).
  • Bruegger’s: Through April 18, get a Big Bagel Bundle for just $10.40 when you “like” Bruegger’s Facebook page.
  • California Tortilla: On April 18, receive a free order of chips and cheese or chips and salsa with any purchase.
  • Hooters: On April 18 at participating locations, buy 10 boneless or traditional wings and get 10 additional wings for free.
  • IHOP: Through April 30 at participating locations, children 12 and under eat free from 4 pm to 10 pm with the purchase of one adult entreĆ©.
  • McCormick & Schmick’s: On April 18 at participating stores, enjoy $10.40 entreĆ©s.
  • P.F. Chang’s: On April 18 at participating locations, receive 15% off all dine-in and take-out orders.
  • The Children’s Place: Through April 17, take 20% off in-store or online purchases via coupon code “TAX11″.

Pat Robertson – Douche of the Day

We should name the Douche of the Day the Pat Robertson award. What religion is it that he’s working behind that fuelspat-robertson his nonstop hateful rhetoric? Robertson said Wednesday that Haiti has been “cursed” because of what he called a “pact with the devil” in its history. His spokesman said the comments were based on Voodoo rituals carried out before a slave rebellion against French colonists in 1791. This guy makes me sick.

Smile Pat Robertson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

You can make a difference that you can feel safe about by donating to the American Red Cross – who just released $10 million in aid to help Haiti or through your cell phone efforts at https://www.causecast.org/mobile/.

Popeye’s Runs Out of Chicken

When the Popeyes runs out of chicken in Rochester, NY… the citizens are far from happy. This news report is hysterical (and slightly racist). Check out the woman driving a $35,000 car yelling at the drive thru box with the automated message about being unable to feed her family due to Popeye’s running out of chicken. This is a bonafide gem.

The Greatest Sandwhich Ever? The KFC Double Down

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So, think too much bread is the problem with your diet? How about heading over to KFC for the new Double Down. Its two (2!) fried chicken breasts instead of bread, with bacon and cheese in the middle. After KFC’s new healthy grilled chicken kick they are getting back to heart attack basics with this monstrosity. Wanna gain 10 lbs in a single setting, head on over to the KFC in Ohama, Nebraska or Providence, Rhode Island because the Double Down is only in the testing phase. Hey, you can’t live forever… death by fried deliciousness awaits!

Death By Chocolate! A Gruesome and Delicious Death in Camden, NJ!

A 29 year old temporary worker has died after falling into a vat of melted chocolate in a New Jersey processing plant. The terrifying and delicious death sounds like fudge frenzy nightmare.

The Cocoa Services Inc. plant worker fell after a blade used to mix raw chocolate hit him. The man’s name has not been released, but he might as well be Augustus Gloop (the fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

The accident happened today as the worker was loading raw chocolate into the vat where it’s melted and mixed and then shipped elsewhere to be made into candy products. Prosecutor’s spokesman Jason Laughlin said a co-worker tried to shut off the machine and two others tried to pull the man out of the 8-foot deep vat. Cocoa Services hires a second company — Lyons and Sons — to do the mixing.

Douche of the Day – Dorothy Richards – The Bambi Killing, Shovel Swinging Septuagenarian

Dorothy Richards of Euclid, Ohio is our oldest Douche of the Day so far… she earns the title for beating a baby deer to death with a shovel. Richards was arrested when three of her neighbors told police that she had beat the fawn to death. The old lady beat Bambi to death after finding it messing with her flower garden.

The city’s cruelty charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The state charge (if pursued) is punishable by a maximum 90 days in jail and $750 fine. Unfortunately for Richards, the story is picking up steam nationwide. This means that the community will be under pressure to throw the book at the Bambi hating, shovel swinging, septuagenarian. Looks like Dorothy Richard’s might be soon be wearing Michael Vick’s other jersey… an orange jumpsuit.

Here’s hoping the state scores one for the fawn… smile Dorothy Richards, you are Buzz Pirates’ Douche of the Day!

Gov. Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s Workout Video

Check out former Governor Jesse “The Body” Ventura in the movie The Running Man (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger). Anyway, as Captain Freedom, here is a commercial for his workout video. The end is my favorite as I think its funny that there’ would be a workout video in which he simply flexes, points and laughs.

Which is the Best Mustache for You?

Thinking of growing a mustache? There’s more to it then you think. The first step is picking a mustache style. We turn to The American Mustache Institute which has distinguished itself as the leading authority on mustaches. They have categorized the mustache into 13 different types. Which one is the best for you.

Chevron - A thick and wide mustache, usually worn long to cover the top border of the upper lip. Mustached hunk Tom Selleck rocks this style in full Magnum P.I. mode.

Dali - A narrow mustache with long points bent or curved steeply upward. Named for artist Salvador Dali.

Toothbrush - A thick mustache, shaved to be about an inch wide in the center. Hitler ruined this mustache…forever hurting Charlie Chaplin’s legacy.

English - A narrow divided mustache that begins at the middle of the upper lip, with long whiskers pulled to either side of the center. The areas beyond the corners of the mouth are typically shaved.

Fu Manchu – A mustache that begins on the upper lip and whose whiskers are grown very long to extend down each side of the mouth down to the to jaw. The areas just past the corners of the mouth are shaven, thus differentiating this style from the “horseshoe.” A mainstay of karate movie masters and bad guys. Fu Manchu was a series of novels about an evil genius, and has appeared in virtually every form of media.

Handlebar - A handlebar mustache can be worn large or small (“petit handlebar”); it is characterized by the fact that it is bushy and must be worn long enough to curl the ends upward, which is usually achieved with styling wax. Hall of Fame pitcher Rollie Fingers famously rocked the handlebar.

Horseshoe - A full mustache with vertical extensions grown on the corners of the lips and down the sides of the mouth to the jawline, resembling an upside-down horseshoe. The whiskers grown along the sides of the mouth in the horseshoe are sometimes referred to as “pipes.” Not to be confused with the “fu manchu” which is grown long from the upper lip only– the sides remain shaven in the fu manchu. “Broadway” Joe Namath and Goose Gossage are just 2 of the most famous Horseshoe Mustache fans.

Imperial - A large mustache growing from both the upper lip and cheeks, whiskers from the cheeks are styled pointing upward.

Lampshade - A mustache similar to the “painter’s brush,” but with corners angled slightly, resembling the shape of a lampshade.

Painter’s Brush – A thick mustache covering the width of the mouth, usually worn short, with slightly roundepencild corners.

Pencil - A thin, narrow, closely clipped mustache that outlines the upper lip. Pencil style mustaches can be trimmed in different manners (see below). Also sometimes called a “mouthbrow.” Flamboyant director John Waters is a famous fan of the pencil mustache.

Pyramidal - A general name for mustaches shaped narrow on top and wide on the bottom, like a pyramid. Pyramidal mustaches can be shaped in a variety of ways, as shown below.

Walrus - A large, bushy, droopy mustache that hangs down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth. Wilford Brimley is a famous fan.