Selected Filmography -

2012 Officer Down Zhanna Dronov

2008-2012 90210 (TV series)  Naomi Clark

2010 Gun  Gabriella

2010 Amexica Woman

2007-2009 Nip/Tuck (TV series) Eden Lord

2009 Fired Up!  Gwyneth

2008 The Haunting of Molly Hartley  Suzie

2008 Day of the Dead  - Nina

2007 Sirens of the Caribbean  Morning/Simone

2007 American Heiress (TV series) – Loren Wakefield

2005 Transporter 2  Car Jacking Girl

2002 The Middle of Nowhere  Cassandra

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15. C’mon Lemon, what do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus.

14. “Donaghy saves GE… marries your mom”

13. Jack Donaghy: You have to fire ten percent of your staff.
Liz Lemon: What?
Jack Donaghy: We have to synergize backward overflow.

12. Lemon: “I’m feeling pretty drunk.”
Jack: “Well, it’s business drunk, it’s like rich drunk. Either way, it’s legal to drive.”

11.  Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect.

10. Jack: Alfredo’s, 2 PM.
Liz Lemon: I’m not dressed for that.
Jack: You’re dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

9. Jack: One minute you’re newlyweds, making love on the floor of the Concorde. Then, before you know it, your lawyers are arguing over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in.
Liz Lemon: You taught your dog to poop in a box?
Jack: Bianca did. But, damn it, I want that box.

8. Jack Donaghy: Now let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system.
Frank Rossitano: My client has no memory of that.
Jack Donaghy: I also would have accepted ‘You can’t prove that’s the Governor’s semen’.

7. Jack: I haven’t met your boyfriend.
Liz Lemon: His name’s Floyd.
Jack: That’s unfortunate.

6. Kenneth Parcell: “Oh, uh, no, sir. I don’t vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord’s name!”
Jack: “That’s Republican. We count those.”

5. Jack: I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.

4. [Jack is in a museum facing a painting, waiting for Liz Lemon to meet him there. Liz appears behind him without announcing her arrival]
Jack: You’ve been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz Lemon: How do you do that, without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but… here we are.

3. Liz Lemon: Hey Jack, do you treat me any differently because I’m a woman?
Jack Donaghy: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.

2. Jack: “The Italians have a saying, Lemon: ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ And, although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.”

1. Lemon: “Why are you wearing a tux?”
Jack: “It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”

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19. Any Given Sunday – Oliver Stone and an all star cast give a great peak into the world of professional football. The sound alone is an amazing achievement with the most realistic in game action ever filmed for a sports movie.

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18. Major League - The Cleveland Indians are stocked with memorable characters in the funny classic.

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17. Caddyshack - Most lists have it at the top and will argue its the greatest sports movie ever as an exclusive golf course has to deal with a brash new member and a destructive dancing gopher.

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16. Bang the Drum Slowly - An emotional and believable performance by Robert De Niro. The story of the friendship between a star pitcher, wise to the world, and a half-wit catcher, as they cope with the catcher’s terminal illness through a baseball season.

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15. Cinderella Man – The story of James Braddock, a supposedly washed up boxer who came back to become a champion and an inspiration in the 1930s.

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14. White Men Can’t Jump – Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson are basketball hustlers join forces to double their chances and crack wise.

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13. He Got Game – A basketball player’s convict father played by Denzel must try to convince him to go to a college so he can get a shorter sentence. A great performance by Ray Allen helps the Spike Lee underrated classic.

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12. Karate Kid – A handyman/martial arts master agrees to teach a bullied boy karate and shows him that there is more to the martial art than fighting in the 80′s classic.

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11. Brian’s Song – Based on the real-life relationship between teammates Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers and the bond established when Piccolo discovers that he is dying.

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10. Rudy - Rudy has always been told that he was too small to play college football. But he is determined to overcome the odds and fulfill his dream of playing for Notre Dame. Sean Astin makes you believe.

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9. Miracle - Miracle tells the true story of Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell), the player-turned-coach who led the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team to victory over the seemingly invincible Russian squad.

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8. The Wrestler – A faded professional wrestler must retire, but finds his quest for a new life outside the ring a dispiriting struggle. An amazingly sobering look at pro wrestling.

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7. Raging Bull – An emotionally self-destructive boxer’s journey through life, as the violence and temper that leads him to the top in the ring, destroys his life outside it.

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6. Slap Shot – A failing ice hockey team finds success using constant fighting and violence during games. Paul Newman is fiesty in the cult classic.

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5. Rocky (all of them) – Sylvester Stallone’s signature role made him a star for a reason. A small time boxer gets a once in a lifetime chance to fight the heavyweight champ in a bout in which he strives to go the distance for his self-respect.

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4. Field of Dreams – An Iowa corn farmer, hearing voices, interprets them as a command to build a baseball diamond in his fields; he does, and the Chicago Black Sox come. It’ll make you want to call your dad immediately after watching.

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3. Bad News Bears - An aging, down-on-his-luck ex-minor leaguer coaches a team of misfits in an ultra-competitive California little league. Foul mouthed kids and drunken coach give the most endearing and realistic look at children in sports.

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2. The Natural – An average baseball player comes out of seemingly nowhere to become a legendary player with almost divine talent. The magic of any good dramatic sports movie is here on full display.

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1. Hoosiers – The ultimate underdog story! A coach with a checkered past and a local drunk train a small town high school basketball team to become a top contender for the championship. Gets me every time.

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10. Larry Dallas – (Three’s Company) – Jack Tripper’s womanizing best friend. The best sleazy neighbor in history.

9. Richard “Boner” Stabone (Growing Pains) – Mike Seavor’s (Kirk Cameron) friend, neighbor and owner of the greatest nickname in family friendly sitcom history.

8. Barney Rubble (The Flintstones) – The diminutive blonde-haired caveman husband of Betty Rubble and father of Bamm-Bamm Rubble. He’s Fred Flinstone’s best friend and who doesn’t want to live next their best friend?

7. Urkel (Family Matters) – Steve was the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, “high-water” or “flood” pants held up by suspenders, multi-colored cardigan sweaters, and a high-pitched voice. He professed unrequited love for neighbor Laura Winslow, perpetually annoyed her father, Carl, and tried to befriend her brother, Eddie. He was annoying, but certainly his heart was always in the right place.

6. Wilson Wilson (Home Improvement) – Who cares if you can’t see his face…ever.  Tim’s neighbor and confidant. As a child, his parents did not allow him to speak to his neighbors, so he really likes talking to Tim and Jill. Wilson serves as an all-wise sage in the show, doling out advice to the Taylor family and seemingly knowing just what to say to solve a problem. He has traveled the globe and learned much from virtually every culture in existence. He has a Ph.D. in Cultural Studies, studying “extinct languages and forgotten cultures”.

5. Winnie Cooper (The Wonder Years) – Kevin Arnold’s main love interest. In an episode entitled “The Accident” and in the final episode, it is stated that every important event in Kevin’s life somehow involves Winnie. She lives on the same block as Kevin. She is the very definition of the “girl next door.”

4. Kramer (Seinfeld) – with his upright hairstyle and vintage wardrobe, the combination of which led to his categorization as a “hipster doofus”; his taste in fruit; his love of occasional smoking, Cuban cigars in particular; his energetic bursts through Jerry’s apartment door; frequent pratfalls and his penchant for nonsensical, percussive outbursts of noise to indicate skepticism, agreement, annoyance, and a variety of other inexplicable responses. Kramer is the best wacky neighbor in television history.

3. Ethel (I Love Lucy) – Ethel was Lucy’s landlady, and Ethel and Lucy were always scheming though Ethel generally provided the voice of reason as a counterpart to Lucy’s more hairbrained ideas. Still, she was the number one person she got in trouble with.

2. Ned Flanders (The Simpsons) – The long suffering neighbor to the Simpson family and Ned generally loathed by Homer Simpson. A devout Christian, he is amongst the friendliest and most compassionate Springfield citizens and is generally considered a pillar of the Springfield community. He may speak in an annoying rhyming pitter patter, but he’s the ultimate in turning the other cheek…especially when it comes to Homer Simpson.

1. Mr. Rogers (Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood) – Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood was characterized by its quiet simplicity and gentleness. Episodes did not have a plot, and consisted of Rogers speaking directly to the viewer about various issues, taking the viewer on tours of factories, demonstrating experiments, crafts, and music, and interacting with his friends. He is the ultimate neighbor and easily the best neighbor in television history.

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Aldous Snow: This is it, Aaron. This is rock n’ roll. Did you enjoy the party?

Aldous Snow: When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

Sergio Roma: You can’t outrun me! I’m black!

Sergio Roma: Go home. Movie’s over. Get the fuck out of here.

Aldous Snow: [as he is watching TV] Didn’t I have sex with her once?

[Aldous sees Sarah Marshall on TV]

Aldous Snow: Yeah, I did.

Daphne Binks: I can’t wait to sit around for 4 days and watch “Gossip Girl.”

Daphne Binks: I want to have a threesome.

Sergio Roma: If he tells you to stick the drugs in your ass, you stick them in your ass.

Aaron Green: [has just been injected with adrenaline] I’m alive!

Aaron Green: I feel like I’m in “2 Fast 2 Furious.”

Aldous Snow: We’re gonna fuck these two girls.

Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.

Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?

Aaron Green: Brunette.

Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.

Sergio Roma: You tell him that you loved “African Child.”

Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There’s one of me eating cheese off some girl’s titties.

Aaron Green: Please just lie to me and say I didn’t miss another awesome party.

Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.

Sergio Roma: Shut up. Don’t speak.

Jonathan Snow: That’s the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.

Sergio Roma: Go get your Destiny.

Sergio Roma: [in Aaron's dream] Look. I’m eating my own head.

Aldous Snow: What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there’s a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it’s peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

Aldous Snow: Your brain is full of lollipops, rainbows, and cheese.

Limousine Driver in London: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?

Aaron Green: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.

Sergio Roma: You’ve been mind-fucked before?

Aaron Green: I don’t think so.

Sergio Roma: I’m mind-fucking you right now.

Aaron Green: You are?

Sergio Roma: Can’t you feel my dick fucking your mind?

Aaron Green: No, I can’t really feel anything.

Sergio Roma: See? That’s it. That’s the art of it. I’m mind-fucking the shit out of you.

Aaron Green: Well I hope you’re wearing a condom cause I have a dirt mind.

Sergio Roma: [intense] Time to get our mind-fuck on.

Sergio Roma: [in a text] Where the fuck are you? I am gonna kill you. Smiley face.

Sergio Roma: Where are you? Why haven’t you called? I’m calling you right now and I just got hit by a motherfucking car.

Jonathan Snow: I’m responsible for your talent, son. I wrote all your songs off the tip of my cock.

Aldous Snow: Yeah, I just don’t get how talent can be contained in one’s spunk.

Aaron Green: I think I just got raped.

Aldous Snow: [handing him a joint] Only one thing to do.

Aaron Green: [taking a hit] Uh, guys? What is this stuff? My heart’s going really fast.

Aldous Snow: Oh, it’s a bit of this, a bit of that. It’s called a Jeffrey. It’s mostly weed, with a bit of opium as well… ground-up E’s… heroin… Clorox…

Aaron Green: I think I’m having a heart attack.

Aldous Snow: Aaron, look at what you’re wearing. Do you think that now you live in Seattle, you’re grunge or something? You look like a lesbian.

Aaron Green: Play the song, man.

Aaron Green: [Aaron has a balloon full of heroin up his ass] Oh, no.

Aldous Snow: What?

Aaron Green: I have to sneeze… and I’m afraid that if I do… my bowels will evacuate…

Aldous Snow: [Lars Ulrich enters scene] Oh, Enter Sandman.

Aaron Green: [as Sergio is chasing after them in a hotel lobby] This is the longest hallway of all time!

Aldous Snow: It’s Kubrickian!

Aldous Snow: This is not an appropriate time to say “namaste”.

Aldous Snow: When you hear about someone and then you meet them… That’s happening now.

Destiny: Wanna sing hairy-oke?

Sergio Roma: This is what old pussy used to look like in the 70′s.

Daphne Binks: I’m fuckin’ psyched.

Aaron Green: I’m not sucking his dick, that’s like 100%.

Sergio Roma: Stop smiling like that. You look like an 8 year old who just discovered his first boner.

Aaron Green: …Well I don’t have one so…

Sergio Roma: I’ve got six fuckin’ kids! Do you know how many Air Jordans six black kids wear?

Pharrell Williams: How do I look?

Sergio Roma: Man, lose the pink. It’s not gangster.

Pharrell Williams: That’s your problem. Everything is gangster with you.

Sergio Roma: The name of the song is “I’m Gangsta!”

Aaron Green: Are you Paul Krugman?

Paul Krugman: Uh, yes.

Aaron Green: My dad loves your shit.

Aaron Green: Do you know the lyrics to “African Child”?

Smiling African Drummer: I don’t know the lyrics. I just bang the drum and do the African face.

[He shows Aaron his version of playing the African drum]

Aaron Green: Across the mystic desert, is a desert that is mystic.

Aldous Snow: I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was in Darfur, or Rwanda, or Zimbabwe, or one of ‘em, and I thought, ‘this isn’t right, is it?’ And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn’t.

Aaron Green: Don’t be a bitch dude, Let me get my smoke on.

Pharrell Williams: You’re five zippers away from “Thriller”.

Sergio Roma: Oh, and you’re one shirt away from Carlton, muthafucka.

Aaron Green: [Dildo violently rubbed against his face] When’s the last time you Purelled that thing?

Aaron Green: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you’re just a fucking junkie and you’re smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.

Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.

Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?

Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.

Aaron Green: [at a club] What’s up man?

Tom Felton: Hey.

Aaron Green: I’m here with Aldous Snow, so we have a table in the back.

Tom Felton: [not interested] Great.

Aaron Green: Feel free to bring Professor Snape. Come by, we’ll play some late night Quidditch.

Tom Felton: Just leave it, you…

[walks away]

Aaron Green: Right. Not everyone cares.

Aldous Snow: How’s the weather down there?

Jackie Q: Wet.

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The President continued, “I like that Jimmy Fredette kid at BYU, so got them coming out of the Southeast. Duke is a real power house, I like them coming out of the West. Oh, and Kansas, they are a real natural disaster, am I right? They are like a tidal wave of epic destruction… on the court. Wait, so what was your question?”

President Obama later named Dick Vitale to his cabinet as the official United States Federal Secretary of Yelling.

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Link:

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