Mortal Kombat Legacy – Episode 1

The highly anticipated new Mortal Kombat video game comes out next week. In connection with the game, Mortal Kombat: Legacy the web series was created by Kevin Tancharoen. It was originally conceived after a “pitch” video entitled Mortal Kombat: Rebirth was released about a year ago. The first episode premiered today on Machinma.com’s YouTube.

It stars Michael Jai White (Spawn) as Jackson Briggs/Jax, Jeri Ryan (Star Trek Enterprise) as Sonya Blade, Darren Shahlavi (BloodRayne) as Kano and Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica) as Kurtis Stryker. More characters are expected to be in future episodes. Enjoy the premiere episode below.

Kobe Stars in Controversial but Awesome Call of Duty: Black Ops Commercial

Kobe Bryant took some heat in the media for his role in this Call of Duty: Black Ops commercial. Jimmy Kimmel and the Rolling Stones’ Give Me Shelter also set the mood for the popular video game’s commercial. I can tell you first hand that the game is phenomenal and I think the commercial is great. It basically shows a bunch of normal people in war like conditions like in the game. Certainly war is not something to be taken lightly, but, c’mon man, its a video game. I think its fun. Quick fact: Call of Duty: Black Ops made more money on its first day then Toy Story 3 made in its entire theatrical run. How’s that for relevance?

Play Asteroids Right Here on Buzz Pirates! Classic Video Game Spotlight

Enjoy arcade action right here on Buzz Pirates with a great cloned version of Asteroids from Neave Games. The controls are listed below.

Use the arrow keys to move
Fire missile – space key
Hyperspace – ctrl or shift key
Pause game – P Quit game – Q Mute sound – M

Asteroids made by Neave Games

Asteroids is classic arcade game released in 1979 by Atari. Asteroids uses vector graphics and a two-dimensional view that wraps around in both screen axes (a toroidal topology). The player controls a spaceship in an asteroid field which is periodically traversed by flying saucers. The object of the game is to shoot and destroy asteroids and saucers while not colliding with either, or being hit by the saucers’ counter-fire.

Happy New Year!

“A Winner Is You” The Worst Video Game Dialogue (The Bottom 10)

Street Fighter IV recently hit shelves and its been a huge hit. Like many fighting games its filled with some terrible video game dialogue. Most of the time its a poor translation that leads to either funny sounding English or simply poor thought out  commentary. The following quotes are new and old, spoken or read. Some have a flawless sounding audio clip, where others have the extra static fuzz sound. Either way they are all terrible and therefore these entries make up the Top 10 Worst Video Game Dialogue ever.

10. “You can almost feel the fear, it’s tangible!” - Street Fighter IV – Street Fighter IV came recently… its a great game, but it couldn’t avoid a stupid line that’s said over and over again while the fights are going on. In addition, the game has the worst music ever with some sort of weird boy band music intro. The Street Fighter series has always had bad writing… in my mind, that’s part of the fun. Add to that list Virtual Fighter (i.e. Lion Rafael – “Do you think you can compete at that level!), King of Fighters (ridiculous yelling) and every other fighter.

9. “Aries Get” – Puzzle De Pon – Puzzle de Pon is a puzzle video game very similar in nature to Puzzle Bobble and Bust a Moove.  The game involves color coded popping of bubbles with various power ups and wacky sounds. After 3 levels are completed the player gains a zodiac sign.  Signs are then collected at various intervals. Each time it just says the zodiac sign and “get.”

8. “President Ronnie has been kidnapped by the ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue Ronnie?” – Bad Dudes. Its so bad, its good. Bad Dudes has you bare knuckle brawl your way through waves of enemies, all for the sake of saving President Regan from ninjas. When you win the game, Ronnie addresses you as “dudes.” In addition, at the completion of a level, your character pumps his fists and says, “I’m bad!”

7. “Stop. Don’t Come!” – Time Crisis – The chick tries to warn you that you are entering a trap. As you prepare to meet the boss at the end of the 2nd stage the girl you are trying to save tries to help you out with the poorest exclamation of “stop. don’t come.” The boss in a white suit reaches into his hair and says “let me entertain you!” and then pulls out several knives. Time Crisis also has one word it constantly repeats… “Action!” every time you are ready to shoot bad guys.

6. “With the Pass” – Blades of Steel (NES)- Of all the quotes that should be repeated in a hockey game over and over again… “with the pass”… really? The speech in Blades of steel is a good example of the static-sounding voice in earlier console games. Other then the call “faceoff,” “fight!” and various grunting when players skate into each other…its all “with the pass” the entire game. I actually thought it was “get the pass” until recently. Konami also butchered the national anthem at the beginning of Double Dribble (the arcade version).

5. “Victoly!” – Samurai Shodown – There were several versions of this SNK game and all of them had some level of bad engrish. At the end of each match of the earlier versions on the screen it would say “Victoly” – which in my book, is fantastic.

4. “I am error” -  Zelda II – This great statement made by the old guy who lives in a big house (which looks small from the outside) in Ruto. Turns out this was actually, well, an error as his name was supposed to be “Errol.”error

3. “You are the master of lock picking”Resident Evil - before there was endless key cards you, Jill, were the master of unlocking. There’s also the famous “you were almost a Jill Sandwich” line that everyone seems to like. The original Resident Evil has some classic bad voice acting.


2. “A Winner is You”Pro Wrestling (NES) – My personal favorite. Anytime you won a match in Pro Wrestling you could look forward to being told the obvious…its also a great thing to rub in your friends face…that douche always takes The Amazon, what with his stupid face grab. I could totally take Kin Corn Karn with Star Man… all I needed was several jumping reverse kicks. Watch out Fighter Hiyabusa…you’re next! I’ve always thought “A Winner is You” would look good on a t-shirt.

1. “All Your Base Are Belongs to Us” - Zero Wing – Could it be anything else? This entire game has tons of terrible dialogue. One of the original internet phenoms, “All your base are belong to us” can be found on bumper stickers, t-shirts, raverland, and every nook and cranny of the internet. Watch the clip below and see the entire scene which is filled with other terrible dialogue. I want to know who they got to actually say the lines like that. Its truly amazing, and the worst dialogue in the history of video game, nothing else comes close.

MLB 09: The Show – Video Game Preview

MLB 09: The Show will be released on Tuesday. Who says PlayStation doesn’t have first class exclusive games? For the last few years, Sony’s MLB the Show has been the leading baseball simulation on the market. Last year MLB 08: The Show broke ground in graphics and game play. Rex Hudler, Matt Vasgersian, and Dave Campbell did a great job last year and return this year to add to the realism. MLB 09: The Show should expand and improve on an already amazing formula. I expect MLB to remain the game to beat. If you have PS3 and an HDTV you should probably get this game on opening day.

Developer – SCEA

Publisher – SCEA

Platform – PlayStation 3, PlayStation 2, PSP

Rating – E (Everyone)

Release Date – March 3, 2009

This year’s cover athlete is Boston Red Sox MVP Dustin Pedroia and he’s in a really funny commercial for the game…


Here are some of the new features from this year’s edition taken right from Sony PlayStation’s website.

Road to the Show 3.0
Now includes interactive training, new settings, a new steal/ lead-off system, presentations and coach interactions. Interactive training will consist of a set of mini-games designed to improve a player’s ability and performance in various areas of baseball.

Franchise Mode 2.0
Improvements include the long awaited 40-man roster! The latest Franchise Mode improvements will also offer Salary Arbitration, Waiver Transactions and September call-ups.

Online Season Leagues
Along with improvements to the traditional Online Leagues, MLB 09 will offer major additions to Online Season Leagues! New Online Season Leagues will allow you to hold a fully functional draft and utilize a Flex Schedule, allowing players to play games ahead in the schedule.

Training/Practice Drills
In MLB 09 users will have the ability to choose from a number of different Training/Practice drills. The drills will be of various concentrations of the game. These drills are a perfect way to polish and improve your baseball skills in The Show!

Details & Subtleties
Details and subtleties play a huge role in legitimizing a game and helping you lose yourself in the suspension of disbelief. MLB 09 The Show sinks it’s teeth into the details with realistic stadiums and signage, wear and tear on field, dusk to night lighting transitions, stadium Jumbotron animations and even crowd atmosphere – reaching up for foul balls out of play and home runs in addition to crowd rivalries and weather appropriate clothing.

Custom Music, Fan Yells and Chants
Using our My MLB Music feature, store all of your favorite music for play on MLB 09 The Show. Once you have your music on your PS3 hard drive, edit any of your tracks and assign a batter walk-up to all of your favorite players. Along with Custom Music, MLB 09 will also offer Custom Fan Yells and Chants. Record a yell, with your own voice, and assign it to play for the player and situation of your choice.

Classic Video Game Spotlight: Berzerk

“Intruder alert! Intruder alert!” “Got the Humanoid, got the intruder” Berzerk is the latest entry into our classic video game spotlight. One of the first games to heavily feature speech synthesis, Berzerk is truly an landmark video game. It was released by Stern in arcades, but was also featured on the Atari 2600.

In Berzerk you control a stick figure – called a humanoid – through a simple maze with multiple exits. You can direct your character in the 8 basic directions and use a fire button to shoot. Standing in your way are robots, in the beginning they are slow and can’t shoot, in later rounds they are faster and can shoot back. You must navigate your way through the maze to one of the exits as quickly as possible. Your character loses a life if it comes in contact with a robot, a wall or a laser shot. The robots are stupid and will walk into walls and shot each other… basically killing themselves. In addition, if you take too long on any maze a bouncing smiley face named “Evil Otto” will come after you. He cannot be shot (in the arcade version of the game) and will bounce right into you, through walls and kill you by touch.

The most important/memorable thing about Berzerk is its speech synthesis. Berzerk’s (very expensive at the time) voice synthesizer generated speech for the robots and the game in general including:

“Coins detected in pocket”:  while showing the high score list when game not active.
“Intruder alert! Intruder alert!”
“The humanoid must not escape”: after you escape when killing every robot.
“Chicken, fight like a robot!”: when you escape room without killing every robot.
“Got the Humanoid, got the intruder”: Plays when you die. (“Got the intruder” higher pitch than the “Got the humanoid” part)

Berzerk is a killer! Berzerk is the first video game in history which someone died from playing. In January 1981, Jeff  Dailey(19 yrs old) died of a heart attack soon after scoring 16,660 points.In October 1982, Peter Burkowski (18 yrs old) made the Berzerk top-ten list twice in fifteen minutes, and then a few seconds later dropped dead. True story…freaky.

Classic Video Game Spotlight: Dig Dug

Fun, simple, memorable music and with a distinctively colorful look that was ahead of its time, Dig Dug is the latest entry into the Class Video Game Spotlight. Dig Dug was released by Namco in 1982, but countless versions have been released on various platforms since.

The basic concept behind Dig Dug is to kill monsters in some sort of underground mine. The monsters can be killed by dropping rocks on them and blowing them up with a pump until they pop. Two kinds of bad guys in this game:

Fygars – dragon-like little guys, they are green and can breathe fire.

Pookas – round red monsters (basically tomatoes with feet) who wear yellow goggles.

You play as the main character, named “Dig Dug”, dressed in white and blue. You are able to dig through any part of the board other then through rocks. You can be killed if you make contact with either a Pooka or Fygar, burned by a Fygar’s fire, or crushed by a rock. Your character can mine through the dirt, but moves faster in pre-mined areas – or the top of the board. The Pookas and Fygars can turn into ghost like things and walk through the walls. 

Once there is only one enemy left, the music speeds up and the last enemy will try to escape through the top left of the board. When a board is cleared a flower patch grows in various ways in the upper right of the board to equal what round you are on.

The arcade version the game ends on round 256 (round 0) – the board is unplayable. At the beginning of the level, a Pooka is placed directly on top of where the player starts, with no way to kill it (this what is called a kill screen). In a side note, a kill screen is a level in a classic game that stops the game in progress due to a programming or design error. Rather than having a traditional ending, the game will freeze, breakdown or behave in a way that further play is impossible therfore ending the game. Donkey Kong and Pacman have kill screens.

Classic Video Game Spotlight: Punch-Out!!

Welcome to a new Buzz Pirate feature… our Classic Video Game Spotlight. For the first game to be highlighted we are going with quite possibly my favorite arcade game ever, the original “Punch-Out!!”

Nintendo first made a name for itself with hits like Donkey Kong and Mario Brothers, but before Nintendo introduced its home system it released the classic video boxing arcade game, Punch-Out!! in 1984. The game was the first in a series of games including Super Punch-Out!! and the wildly successful console version, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! for the NES. But before the NES version made the protagonist the tiny jump to punch Mac, there was the famous see-through green contender in the arcade version.

The game is housed in a modified upright cabinet, and requires two 19″ monitors, one atop the other, for the game’s display. The top monitor shows stats while the bottom one displays the main action. The game has a joystick and three buttons. The joystick controls punches to the face or body, as well as weaving left or  right. There are 2 buttons left and right punches. Jabs to the face announce “left” or “right,” while punches to the stomach cause the announcer to shout the well known “body blow!” charge. A large blue button delivers a  “KO” punch, which can be used after a meter is filled up after several regular punches are connected without getting hit. When the KO power is ready your corner man tells you to either “Put him away!”, or “Knock him out!”. If you do knock your opponent out the announcer says… “Knockout! Great fighting, you’re an up and coming boxer)

Your opponents in order are:

Glass Joe (the easy to beat French guy, whose name refers to his “glass chin”)

Piston Hurricane (who looks like Sammy Davis, Jr.)

Bald Bull (maybe the most memorable opponent)

Kid Quick (a skinny guy with an overbite)

Pizza Pasta (Italian guy with the most ridiculous name)

Mr. Sandman (the Champ! – after you beat him you fight them all over again defending the title)

Newly minted Nintendo celebrities Mario and Donkey Kong make cameos in the game. And for the record, I can get to Mr. Sandman, beat him and become the champ…on 1 quarter. Yeah, all the ladies like hearing about that.

Weekly Booty – Drunk Robots, Chalkboard Fatality & a Hung Weatherman

weekly bootyWelcome to the Weekly Booty, a Friday feature at Buzz Pirates where we recap some of the best loot we’ve dugg up on the net in the past week. Check out some of these treasures matey…

  • Gizmodo – Funny…it seems that all of our favorite gadgets are always related to booze. But when you can combine booze and Star Wars…what’s not to love? Behold Bar2-D2, you’re very own drink serving robot.
  • Yep Yep – Who said we couldn’t have Mortal Combat powers? All you need is a chalkboard. FATALITY!
  • Things are looking “up” for the weather this weekend.

    Hung Weatherman

  • BannedInHollywood.com – Check out this awesome headline BannedInHollywood found on ESPN. I can’t wait to see the headline when the Oregon State Beavers play the South Carolina Game COCKS – “Cocks Pound Beavers”.

    beavers trap trojans
    Cocks rock

  • In keeping with this week’s phallic theme, check out the way Rachael Ray can work a shaft.

Weekly Booty – Sarah Palin Corn Maze, Video Game Bar & Jenna’s Vaj

weekly bootyWelcome to the Weekly Booty, a Friday feature at Buzz Pirates where we recap some of the best loot we’ve dugg up on the net in the past week. Check out some of these treasures matey…

  • Gizmodo – Video Game Bar Tackles Two Life-Hindering Addictions at Once. We gotta have one now!
  • PerezHilton – Jenna Jameson is pregnant with twins! Damn…hasn’t her vagina had enough by now?
  • The UK Sun – Zeppelin baby Zeppelin! ROCK legends LED ZEPPELIN are set for a reunion tour after singer ROBERT PLANT finally caved in and agreed to join them.
  • We love Sarah Palin. Mostly because she gives us lots of stupid shit to write about. But we don’t love her as much as those crazy red blooded Ohioans. Check out the portrait they did of her…in a corn field!

    Sarah Palin Corn Maze

  • WELT Online – This is not another stupid Superhero movie. Yes…I swear this is a real person in a real suit. Swiss pilot Yves ‘FusionMan’ Rossy, the first man in the world to fly under a jet-fitted wing, successfully flew over the English Channel today.

    real life rocket man

  • NothingToxic.com – Got a craving for some porn, but stuck at work? Not to fear…check out these Safe For Work [SFW] Porn videos from NothingToxic.com.

    Safe For Work Porn Videos
    I love watching a two girls play the harmonica at the same time.