Kung Fury – the Awesomely Over the Top, Comedy Action Movie Trailer that Became a Real Short Film – See it Here!

Kung Fury is a 2015 Swedish martial arts comedy short film written, directed by, and starring David Sandberg. It pays homage to 1980s martial arts and police action films. The film was crowdfunded through Kickstarter from December 2013 to January 2014 with pledges reaching US$630,019, exceeding the original target goal of $200,000, but falling short of the feature film goal of $1 million. What started as an awesome trailer, got the funding to be a short length movie. It was selected to screen in the Directors’ Fortnight section at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival, losing to Rate Me from the UK. Forget Cannes, this movie wins Buzz Pirates Movie Trailer, Movie (short film) and Music Video of the Year. Its the most bad ass Internet thing we’ve seen in a long time. It’s also more enjoyable then most of the crap at your local theater this summer… and its free! Enough with the talk we give you… Kung Fury!

It started as a trailer…

It became a short film…

Which spawned a companion music video True Survivor by David Hasselhoff…

Jack Woltz – How to Piss Off the Godfather and Wind Up with a Horse Head in Bed

In light of the attention being given to famed sexist and Anti-Semite, Walt Disney who was called out by Meryl Streep on Tuesday Buzz Pirates would like to recognize the Jack Woltz from The Godfather. He was an obvious characterization of Walt Disney. This scene below has the great Godfather quote “she was the best piece of ass I’ve ever had, and I’ve had them all over the world!” When he refused to cast Johnny Fontane(an obvious characterization of Frank Sinatra) in his new movie…

Who eventually wound up with his prize thoroughbred horse’s head in his bed…

 

15 Best Jack Donaghy Quotes – Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock

30 Rock might be the funniest show on television right now… ok top 5? Well, the best part about it is Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, the Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric and Liz Lemon’s (played by Tina Fey) friend and boss. 30 Rock’s season premiere is tonight and here are his 15 best quotes from the show so far. Are we missing any?

15. C’mon Lemon, what do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus.

14. “Donaghy saves GE… marries your mom”

13. Jack Donaghy: You have to fire ten percent of your staff.
Liz Lemon: What?
Jack Donaghy: We have to synergize backward overflow.

12. Lemon: “I’m feeling pretty drunk.”
Jack: “Well, it’s business drunk, it’s like rich drunk. Either way, it’s legal to drive.”

11.  Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect.

10. Jack: Alfredo’s, 2 PM.
Liz Lemon: I’m not dressed for that.
Jack: You’re dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

9. Jack: One minute you’re newlyweds, making love on the floor of the Concorde. Then, before you know it, your lawyers are arguing over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in.
Liz Lemon: You taught your dog to poop in a box?
Jack: Bianca did. But, damn it, I want that box.

8. Jack Donaghy: Now let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system.
Frank Rossitano: My client has no memory of that.
Jack Donaghy: I also would have accepted ‘You can’t prove that’s the Governor’s semen’.

7. Jack: I haven’t met your boyfriend.
Liz Lemon: His name’s Floyd.
Jack: That’s unfortunate.

6. Kenneth Parcell: “Oh, uh, no, sir. I don’t vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord’s name!”
Jack: “That’s Republican. We count those.”

5. Jack: I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.

4. [Jack is in a museum facing a painting, waiting for Liz Lemon to meet him there. Liz appears behind him without announcing her arrival]
Jack: You’ve been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz Lemon: How do you do that, without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but… here we are.

3. Liz Lemon: Hey Jack, do you treat me any differently because I’m a woman?
Jack Donaghy: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.

2. Jack: “The Italians have a saying, Lemon: ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ And, although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.”

1. Lemon: “Why are you wearing a tux?”
Jack: “It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”

The 20 Best Sports Movies of All Time

20. The Rookie – The best dramatic sports movies often come in the form of a true story. A Texas baseball coach played by Dennis Quaid makes the major league after agreeing to try out if his high school team made the playoffs.

.

.

.

.

.

19. Any Given Sunday – Oliver Stone and an all star cast give a great peak into the world of professional football. The sound alone is an amazing achievement with the most realistic in game action ever filmed for a sports movie.

.

.

.

.

.

18. Major League - The Cleveland Indians are stocked with memorable characters in the funny classic.

.

.

.

.

.

17. Caddyshack - Most lists have it at the top and will argue its the greatest sports movie ever as an exclusive golf course has to deal with a brash new member and a destructive dancing gopher.

.

.

.

.

.

16. Bang the Drum Slowly - An emotional and believable performance by Robert De Niro. The story of the friendship between a star pitcher, wise to the world, and a half-wit catcher, as they cope with the catcher’s terminal illness through a baseball season.

.

.

.

.

.

15. Cinderella Man – The story of James Braddock, a supposedly washed up boxer who came back to become a champion and an inspiration in the 1930s.

.

.

.

.

.

14. White Men Can’t Jump – Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson are basketball hustlers join forces to double their chances and crack wise.

.

.

.

.

.

13. He Got Game – A basketball player’s convict father played by Denzel must try to convince him to go to a college so he can get a shorter sentence. A great performance by Ray Allen helps the Spike Lee underrated classic.

.

.

.

.

.

12. Karate Kid – A handyman/martial arts master agrees to teach a bullied boy karate and shows him that there is more to the martial art than fighting in the 80’s classic.

.

.

.

.

.

11. Brian’s Song – Based on the real-life relationship between teammates Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers and the bond established when Piccolo discovers that he is dying.

.

.

.

.

 

Continue reading

Idiocracy Best Quotes

Idiocracy was woefully under appreciated. The movie is a hilarious satirical science fiction comedy, directed by Mike Judge (who made Office Space  and starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph and Dax Shepard. Here are some of the choice quotes from the movie.

Frito: Go away! ‘Batin’!


Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] … And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn’t just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!


Costco Greeter: [Greeting every customer] Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you.


Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded. What I’d do, is just like… like… you know, like, you know what I mean, like…


Officer Collins: [addressing military brass] You see, a pimp’s love is very different from that of a square.


Rita: Can you take me there?
[Points at TV where “Monday Night Rehab” is showing]
Frito: [Lifts Rita to TV]
Rita: Not here, you fucking moron – there!
[Points at TV again]


Secretary of State: I’m Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl’s Jr.


[Billboard Ad]: If you don’t smoke Tarryltons… Fuck You!


Doctor: Don’t worry, scrote. There are plenty of ‘tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was ‘tarded. She’s a pilot now.


Frito: [Acting as Joe’s public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why’d you do that?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: I’m not guilty!
Frito: That’s not what the other lawyer said.


Judge Hank “The Hangman” BMW: Now prosecutor, why you think he done it?
Prosecutor: ‘Kay. Number one your honor, just look at him. And B, we’ve got all this, like, evidence, of how, like, this guy didn’t even pay at the hospital. And I heard that he doesn’t even have his tattoo.
[crowd boos]
Prosecutor: I know! And I’m all, ‘you’ve gotta be shittin’ me!’ But check this out man, judge should be like
[bangs fist on table]
Prosecutor: ‘guilty!’ Peace.


Pvt. Joe Bowers: I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine.
Frito: Oh, that’s easy. You go down by the museum and stuff… It’s like- it’s, like, by the museum… Sorta by… Actually, not really. More like on the street, you go, um… Wait, let me start over. Okay, you know where the time machine is?


Female Reporter: It started off boring and slow with Not Sure trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: ‘Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!’ That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, ‘Man, whatever! The guy’s guilty as shit! We all know that.’ And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation.


Pvt. Joe Bowers: Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.


Frito: I can’t believe you like money too. We should hang out.
Share this quote


[repeated line]
Frito: I like money.


Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y’know?
Frito: I don’t really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.


Doctor in Waiting Room: Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.
Trashy Guy: [in the background] Get your hands off my junk!


Yuppie Wife: Unfortunately, Trevor passed away from a heart attack while masturbating to produce sperm for artificial insemination. But I had some eggs frozen, so just as soon as the right guy comes along…


President Camacho: Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.
South Carolina Representative # 1: That’s what you said last time, dipshit!
South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you’re a dick! South Carolina, what’s up!


Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] There was a time when reading wasn’t just for fags. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!


Ow! My Balls! Guy: Comin’ up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new “Ow, My Balls!”


Frito: Yah I know this place pretty good, I went to law school here.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: In Costco?
Frito: Yah I couldn’t believe it myself, luckily my dad was an alumnus and pulled some strings.


Narrator: The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.


Doctor: Why come you got no tattoo?


Narrator: Joe decided that in order to get out of jail, he would have to use his superior diplomacy skills.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: [talking to the prison guard] Hey, uh… I’m actually supposed to be getting out of jail, not going back in…
Prison Guard #2: [hits Joe on the back of the head] You’re supposed to be in that line, dumbass!
[he points to the door]
Prison Guard #2: Hey, guys, let this dumbass out!


Narrator: [Time Masheen starts] We’re gonna take you back, to the year 1939 when Charlie Chaplin and his nazi regime enslaved Europe and tried to take over the world…
Narrator: …But then an even greater force emerged, the U.N.
[pronounced “un”]
Narrator: and the U.N. un-nazied the world – forever.


Pvt. Joe Bowers: Why me? Every time Metsler says, “Lead, follow, or get out of the way,” I get out of the way.
Sgt. Keller: Yeah, when he says that, you’re not supposed to choose “get out of the way.” It’s supposed to embarrass you into leading – or at least following.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: That doesn’t embarrass me.


President Camacho: Now I understand everyone’s shit’s emotional right now. But I’ve got a 3 point plan that’s going to fix EVERYTHING.
Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho!
President Camacho: Number 1: We’ve got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He’s got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He’s going to fix EVERYTHING.


Secret Service Thug: Okay. Hey, a couple of us guys were wonderin’, uh if we’d go family-style on her.


Prison Guard #3: [looks at computer after Not Sure tells him he’s not supposed to be there] uh, well… I don’t see you in here… so, you’re, uh, gonna have to stay in prison.


Officer Collins: [addressing military brass about Rita’s background] We did, however have to come to an arrangement with her pimp. A gentleman who goes by the name Upgrayedd. Which he spells thusly, with two D’s, as he says, “for a double dose of this pimping”.


IPPA Computer: Welcome to the Identity Processsing Program of Uhmerica! Please insert your forearm into the forearm receptacle!
[Joe inserts his arm]
IPPA Computer: Thank you! Please speak your name as it appears on your current federal identity card, document G24L8!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: I’m not sure if…
IPPA Computer: You have entered the name “Not Sure.” Is this correct, Not Sure?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, it’s not correct…
IPPA Computer: Thank you! “Not” is correct. Is “Sure” correct?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, it’s not, my name is Joe…
IPPA Computer: You have already confirmed your first name is “Not.” Please confirm your last name, “Sure.”
Pvt. Joe Bowers: My last name is not “Sure!”
IPPA Computer: Thank you, Not Sure!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: No, what I mean is my name is Joe…
IPPA Computer: Confirmation is complete. Please wait while I tattoo your new identity on your arm!


[cabinet has been debating putting water on the plants instead of Brawndo]
Pvt. Joe Bowers: What *are* these electrolytes? Do you even know?
Secretary of State: They’re… what they use to make Brawndo!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: But *why* do they use them to make Brawndo?
Secretary of Defense: [raises hand after a pause] Because Brawndo’s got electrolytes.


[first lines]
Narrator: As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.


[last lines]
Narrator: Joe and Rita had three children, the three smartest kids in the world. Vice President Frito took 8 wives and had a total of 32 kids. Thirty-two of the dumbest kids ever to walk the Earth. OK, so maybe Joe didn’t save mankind, but he got the ball rolling, and that’s pretty good for an average guy.


Narrator: Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.


Narrator: The #1 movie in America was called “Ass.” And that’s all it was for 90 minutes. It won eight Oscars that year, including best screenplay.


Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin’ everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn’t thought of that.
Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.


Carl’s Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!
Woman at Carl’s Jr.: You didn’t give me no fries, I got an empty box.
Carl’s Jr. Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES?
Woman at Carl’s Jr.: I said I didn’t get any!
Carl’s Jr. Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase.
Woman at Carl’s Jr.: What? Oh no, NO!
[She hits the machine. An alarm goes off, and a sign appears on the computer saying “WARNING! Carl’s Jr. Frowns Upon Vandalism”]
Carl’s Jr. Computer: I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I’m sorry you’re having trouble.
Woman at Carl’s Jr.: Come on! My kids are starvin’!
Carl’s Jr. Computer: [the woman kicks the computer, and it sprays a fast-acting tranquilizer in her face] This should help you calm down. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl’s Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl’s Jr. Carl’s Jr… “Fuck You, I’m Eating.”
[Joe approaches the computer]
Carl’s Jr. Computer: Welcome to Carl’s Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!


Phone Computer: Welcome to AOL Time Warner Taco Bell US Government Long Distance. Please say the name of the person you wish to call.
Rita: Upgrayedd.
Phone Computer: There are 9,726 listings for “Upgrayedd”. Please deposit $2,000 to begin connection.


IPPA Computer: If you have one bucket that contains 2 gallons and another bucket that contains 7 gallons, how many buckets do you have?

Bazinga! Big Bang Theory: Best Sheldon Cooper Quotes!

Hot off Jim Parsons’ Emmy win for his portrayal of Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory, the bang gang is coming back soon for the new season. In celebration, we give you the best quotes of resident genius (and socially awkward) Sheldon Cooper. Hottie Kaley Cuoco will miss a few episodes due to injury but will return soon. In the meantime enjoy our selection for the best Sheldon quotes!

Sheldon: (knocking) Penny! (knocking) Penny! (knocking) Penny!

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don’t want tea.
Sheldon: I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It’s a conversation starter.
Leonard: That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a little misunderstanding.

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I’ve managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. BAZINGA!

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Leonard: For God’s sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

Sheldon: You can try, but you’ll never catch me. Bazinga!

Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy if your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?

Sheldon: Are you upset about something?
Leonard: What was your first clue?
Sheldon: Well there was a number of things. First the late hour, then you demeanors seems very low energy plus your irritability…
Leonard: Yes I’m upset!
Sheldon: Oh… I don’t usually pick up on those things. Good for me.
Leonard: Yeah good for you.
Sheldon: (walks away and then turns back) Oh, wait. Did you want to talk about what’s bothering you?
Leonard: I don’t know… maybe.
Sheldon: Wow! I’m on fire tonight.

Sheldon: You can’t make a half sandwich. If it’s not half of a whole sandwich, it’s just a small sandwich.

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu. You’re my favorite Linux-based operating system.

Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don’t you think that if I were wrong, I’d know it?

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don’t screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you’re welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I’m sleepy now get out.

Sheldon: A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies “for you, no charge”.

Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I’m nummy-nummy and she could eat me up!

Rate this quote:

Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
Amy: If that was slang, I’m unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

Most Memorable Quotes from Avatar

Selfridge: This is why we’re here; because this little gray rock sells for twenty million a kilo.

Neytiri: You should not be here.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Just relax and let your mind go blank. That shouldn’t be too hard for you.

Jake Sully: Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world, and in here is the dream.

Col. Quaritch: You haven’t got lost in the woods, have you? You still remember what team you’re playing for?

Neytiri: You are Omaticaya now. You may make your bow from the wood of Hometree. And you may choose a woman. We have many fine women. Ninat is the best singer.
Jake Sully: I don’t want Ninat.
Neytiri: Peyral is a good hunter.
Jake Sully: Yes, she is a good hunter. But I’ve already chosen. But this woman must also choose me.
Neytiri: [smiles] She already has.
[They kiss]

Selfridge: [In the tech room, Selfridge putts a golf ball into a mug and laughs] You see that?
Worker: Yes sir!
Selfridge: No you didn’t, you were looking at the monitor. I love this putter, Ronnie! I love this putter!
Dr. Grace Augustine: Parker. You know, I used to think it was benign neglect, but now I see that you are intentionally screwing me.
Selfridge: Grace, you know, I enjoy our little talks.
[He putts the ball again, it’s about to go in the mug but Grace kicks the mug away]
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Deadpan] Oops.

Jake Sully: There’s no such thing as an ex-marine. You may be out, but you never lose the attitude.

Col. Quaritch: We have an indigenous population of humanoids called the Na’vi.

Dr. Max Patel: Grace, this is Jake Sully.
Jake Sully: Madame.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, yeah, I know who you are and I don’t need you. I need your brother. You know, the PHD who trained for 3 years for this mission.
Jake Sully: He’s dead. I know it’s a big inconvenience for everyone.
Dr. Grace Augustine: How much lab training have you had?
Jake Sully: I dissected a frog once.

Col. Quaritch: This low gravity makes you soft. You get soft and Pandora will shit you out dead with zero warning.

Col. Quaritch: Look, Sully, I want you to learn this savages from the inside, I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won’t.

[Grace is showing pictures of the Na’vi to Jake so he remembers them]
Dr. Grace Augustine: Okay, let’s run through them again.
Jake Sully: [Sees a picture] Mo’at. The Dragon lady.
[Sees next picture]
Jake Sully: Eytukan.
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Says the name correctly] Eytukan. He’s the clan leader. But she’s the spiritual leader. Like a chaman.
Jake Sully: Got it.
[Sees next picture]
Jake Sully: Tsu’tey
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Says the name correctly] Tsu’tey.
Jake Sully: Tsu’tey.
Dr. Grace Augustine: He’ll be the next clan leader.
Jake Sully: [Sees next picture] Neytiri.
Dr. Grace Augustine: She’ll be the next “Tsahik”. They’ll become a mated pair.
Jake Sully: So who’s this Eywa?
Norm Spellman: Who’s Eywa? Only their deity! Their goddess, maker of all living things. Everything they know! You’d know this if you’ve had any training whatsoever.
Jake Sully: [Shows him Neytiri’s picture] Who’s got a date with the chief’s daughter?
Norm Spellman: Oh, come on!

Dr. Grace Augustine: I’m going to Selfridge.
Dr. Max Patel: No, Grace.
Dr. Grace Augustine: I’m going to kick his corporate butt. He has no business sticking his nose in my department.

Col. Quaritch: You are not in Kansas anymore, you are on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen, respect that fact every second of every day.

Dr. Grace Augustine: They’re pissing on us and not even giving us the courtesy of calling it rain.

[last lines]
Jake Sully: Well, uh, I guess this is my last video log. Whatever happens tonight, either way, I’m not going to be coming back to this place. Well, I guess I better go. I don’t wanna be late for my own party. It’s my birthday, after all. This is Jake Sully signing off.

Trudy Chacon: [fires on Quaritch’s Hellicopter] Your’e not the only one with a gun, Bitch!

Jake Sully: They’re not going to give up their home. They’re not going to make a deal. Pff for what? A light beer and blue jeans? There’s nothing that we have that they want. Everything they sent me out here to do is a waste of time. They’re never going to leave hometree.

Jake Sully: With your permission, I will speak now. You would honor me by translating.

Jake Sully: Look, they sent me here to learn your ways. So that one day I could bring this message and that you would believe it.

Jake Sully: Look, at first it was just orders. And then, everything changed. Okay, I fell in love. I fell in love with the, with the forest, with the Omaticaya people, with you. With you.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Don’t play with that. You’ll go blind.

Neytiri: You have a strong heart. No fear… but stupid! Ignorant like a child!

Col. Quaritch: Thanks Jake, I’m gettin all emotional, ‘might just give you a big wet kiss!
Moat: It is hard to fill a cup that is already full.
Jake Sully: My cup is empty. Trust me. Just ask Dr. Augustine. I’m no scientist.
Moat: Then what are you?
Jake Sully: I was a marine. A warrior… of the uh… Jarhead Clan.

Neytiri: I’m with you now, Jake. We are mated for life.
Jake Sully: What the hell are you doing, Jake?

Dr. Grace Augustine: Stay with the ship. One idiot with a gun is enough.

Col. Quaritch: Hey Sully… how does it feel to betray your own race? You think you’re one of them? Time to wake up!

Norm Spellman: Oh… my… God…
Trudy Chacon: [laughs] You should see your faces.

Tsu’tey: YOU!
[pushes Jake, Neytiri exclaims]
Tsu’tey: You mating with this woman?
Dr. Grace Augustine: Oh, shit!

Trudy Chacon: Screw this. I didn’t sign up for this shit!

Dr. Grace Augustine: [Emerging from her avatar pod] Where’s my goddamn cigarette? What’s wrong with this picture!

Jake Sully: The sky people have sent us a message… that they can take whatever they want… and no one can stop them… well we will send them a message… You ride out as fast as the wind can carry you… you tell the other clans to come… You tell them Toruk Mak Tao calls to them… and you fly now with me… my brothers, sisters… And we will show the sky people that they cannot take whatever they want… Because this… this is our land.

Trudy Chacon: I was hoping for some kind of tactical plan that didn’t involve martyrdom.

Selfridge: Isn’t that the whole point of your little puppet show? You walk like them, you talk like them. We build them a school, teach them English, but after how many years the relations with the indigenous are only getting worse.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, well that tends to happen when you use machine guns on them.

Neytiri: Your ikran must choose you in return.
Jake Sully: How will I know if he chooses me?
Neytiri: He will try to kill you.
Jake Sully: Outstanding.

[repeated line]
Neytiri: I See you.

Col. Quaritch: I take care of my own son. You get me what I need, I make sure that when you rotate home you get your legs back, your real legs.
Jake Sully: That sounds real good sir.

Col. Quaritch: I want this mission high and tight. I want to be home for dinner.

Col. Quaritch: Out beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubees.

Col. Quaritch: I can do it with minimal casualties to the indigenous. We’ll clear them out with gas first. It’ll be humane. More or less.

Trudy Chacon: We’re going up against gunships with bows and arrows.
Jake Sully: Well, I guess we better stop him.

Selfridge: Look you’re supposed to be winning the hearts and minds of the natives. Isn’t that the whole point of your little puppet show? If you walk like them, you talk like them they’ll trust you. We build them a school, teach them English. But after – how many years – the relations with the indigenous are only getting worse.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, well that tends to happen when you use machine guns on them.
Selfridge: Right. Come with me. You see this? This is why we’re here. Because this little gray rock sells for $20 million a kilo. This is what pays for the whole party, and it’s what pays for your science. Those savages are threatening our whole operation. We’re on the brink of war and you’re supposed to be finding me a diplomatic solution. So use what you’ve got, and get me some results

Jake Sully: What are they?
Neytiri: Seed to the Secret tree. Very pure spirits.
Jake Sully: Aha…

Dr. Grace Augustine: What are you gonna do, Ranger Rick? Huh, you gonna shoot me?
Col. Quaritch: I could do that.
Col. Quaritch: If there is a hell you might want to go there for some R&R after a tour on Pandora

Col. Quaritch: As head of security, it’s my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed – not with all of you.

Jake Sully: Sometimes your whole life boils down to one insane move

The Best Quotes From Goodfellas

Check out these Goodfellas Quotes!

Henry Hill: [narrating] As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

Tommy DeVito: In this day and age, what the fuck is this world coming to? I can’t believe this, prejudice against – a Jew broad – prejudice against Italians.

Morrie: Henry, you’re a good kid, I’ve been good to you, you’ve been good to me. But there’s something really unreasonable going on here. Jimmy’s being an unconsionable ball-breaker. I never agreed to 3 points on top of the vig! Am I something special? Some sort of schmuck on wheels?
Henry Hill: Morrie, please! You borrowed Jimmy’s money, pay him.
Morrie: I never agreed to 3 points on top of the vig! What am I, fuckin nuts? Come on!
Henry Hill: Are you gonna argue with Jimmy Conway? Just give him his money so we can get the fuck outta here!
Morrie: Hey! Fuck ‘em! Fuck ‘em in the ear! What are you talking about? Fuck ‘em in the other ear, that son of a bitch! Did I ever bust his balls? Did I? Did I? I could’ve jumped the dime a million times, and I wouldn’t have to pay tip!
Henry Hill: Come on, Morrie, you’re talking crazy, stop it!
Jimmy Conway: [Grabs telephone cord and chokes Morrie with it, then his wig falls off and Henry starts laughing] You got money for that fuckin commercial. Fuckin’ commercial, you don’t got my money, you don’t got my fuckin money, huh?
Henry Hill: Jimmy, he’ll pay, he’ll pay.
Jimmy Conway: I’ll fuckin kill you, get the money, you fuckin’ cocksucker, you hear me?
[Phone rings]
Jimmy Conway: Pay me my money.
Morrie: Hello? Who’s this? He’s here.
[Gives phone to Henry]
Henry Hill: Jimmy, I’m sorry.
Jimmy Conway: Yeah? You should be sorry. Don’t fuckin do it again and give me the money. Give me the fuckin money, You hear me? You hear me, I gotta come here and you bust my balls? Give me the fuckin money.
Morrie: OK, OK, OK. I’ll pay you kid.

Spider: [hesitating] Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Tommy?
Jimmy Conway: Whoa! Can’t believe what I just heard. Hey Spider, here. This is for you.
[tosses money on the table]
Jimmy Conway: Attaboy! I got respect for this kid. He’s got a lot of fucking balls. Good for you! Don’t take no shit off nobody.
Jimmy Conway: What’s the fuckin’ matter with you? What – what is the fuckin’ matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I’m kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin’? What are you, a fuckin’ sick maniac?
Tommy DeVito: How am I meant to know you’re kidding? What you mean, you’re kidding? You breaking my fuckin’ balls?
Jimmy Conway: I’m fuckin’ kidding with you! You fuckin’ shoot the guy?
Henry Hill: He’s dead.
Tommy DeVito: Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. Fuckin’ rat anyway. His family’s all rats. He’ll grow up to be a rat.
Jimmy Conway: You stupid bastard, I can’t fuckin’ believe you. Now, you’re gonna dig the fuckin’ thing now. You’re gonna dig the hole. You’re gonna do it. I got no fuckin’ lime. You’re gonna do it.
Tommy DeVito: Who the fuck cares? I’ll dig the fuckin’ hole. I don’t give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I’ll fuckin’ dig a hole. Where are the shovels?

Pete the Killer: [points] By the way, I took care of that thing for ya

Tommy DeVito: Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.

Henry Hill: You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I’m funny?
Henry Hill: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What’s funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus…
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just… ya know… you’re funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Tommy DeVito: You know Spider, you’re a fuckin’ mumbling stuttering little fuck. You know that?

Spider: I thought you said I was alright Spider?

Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.
Billy Batts: What?
Tommy DeVito: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. They didn’t go up there and tell you. I don’t shine shoes anymore.
Billy Batts: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what’s got into you? I’m breaking your balls a little bit, that’s all. I’m only kidding with ya…
Tommy DeVito: Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…
Billy Batts: I’m only kidding with you, we’re having a party, I just came home and I haven’t seen you in a long time and I’m breaking your balls, and you’re getting fucking fresh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.
Tommy DeVito: I’m sorry too. It’s okay. No problem.
Billy Batts: Okay, salute.
Billy Batts: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox.
Tommy DeVito: Mother fuckin’ mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
Billy Batts: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!
Tommy DeVito: Motherfucking… He bought his fucking button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your fucking button!
Tommy DeVito: You mother fuck… Fuck! Keep that motherfucker here, keep him here!
[leaves]

Henry Hill: [narrating] And when the cops, when they assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what’d he do? He made ‘em partners.
Henry Hill: Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.
Henry Hill: [narrating] Whenever we needed money, we’d rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.

Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like:
Jimmy Two Times: I’m gonna go get the papers, get the papers.goodfellas2

Henry Hill: [narrating] Thirty-two hundred dollars he gave me. Thirty-two hundred dollars for a lifetime. It wasn’t even enough to pay for the coffin.

Tommy DeVito: What the fuck are you doing? You’re hanging around my fuckin’ neck like a vulture, like impending danger.

Tommy DeVito: Hey, Spider, that fuckin’ bandage on your foot is bigger than your fuckin’ head.

Morrie: Don’t buy wigs that come off at the wrong time.

Paul Cicero: You know anything about this fucking restaurant business?
[Talking to Henry]
Sonny Bunz: He knows everything about it. I mean he’s in the joint 24 hours a day. I mean another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that’s how often he’s in there.
Henry Hill: [narrating] Now the guy’s got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy’s gotta come up with Paulie’s money every week no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning huh? Fuck you, pay me.”

Henry Hill: [narrating] When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he was frozen so stiff it took them three days to thaw him out for the autopsy.

Tommy DeVito: What do you want to tell me now, tough guy? I said, “Bing, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother!”
[group laughs]
Tommy DeVito: I thought he was gonna shit!

Paul Cicero: And Tommy he’s a good kid too. But he’s crazy, he’s a cowboy, he’s got too much to prove. You gotta watch out for kids like this.

Jimmy Conway: I’m not mad, I’m proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.

Henry Hill: I swear to my fucking mother, if you touch her again, YOU’RE DEAD.

Tommy DeVito: Oh, I like this one… One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy’s sayin’, “Whadda ya want from me?’ Guy’s got a nice head of white hair, it’s beautiful.
Jimmy Conway: Looks like someone we know.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, my… no, without the beard? Oh, shhhhhh…!
[laughs]

Henry Hill: [narrating] It was revenge for Billy Batts, and a lot of other things. And there was nothing that we could do about it. Batts was a made man, and Tommy wasn’t. And we had to sit still and take it. It was among the Italians. It was real greaseball shit. They even shot Tommy in the face so his mother couldn’t give him an open coffin at the funeral.

Tommy DeVito: What the fuck you looking at? Come on. Make that coffee to go. Let’s go.
Frankie Carbone: [Mumbles something and goes to the door with the coffee pot in his hand]
Tommy DeVito: What the fuck are you doing? It’s a joke! A joke! Put the fucking pot down!

2…2 small onions

Leaked A-Team Movie Trailer!

The A-Team movie is set to release on June 11, and we’ve got the leaked trailer right here. Some of the scenes look a little blurry, but check out Bradley Cooper as Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, Liam Neeson as Col. John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, Jessica Biel as Lt. Sosa, Sharlto Copley (District 9) as Capt. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock and Quinton Jackson filling Mr. T’s mohawk as Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus.