Buzz Pirates » Internet & Technology

Buzz Pirates Officially Endorses Vermin Supreme for President

Corey — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:36:24 +0000

This just in, we officially and unequivocally endorse Vermin Supreme for President. You can send us our pony in the mail. Check this guy out… he’s the man!

Zangief Kid (aka Little Zangief) – Casey Heynes Bully Smackdown

Corey — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 05:50:43 +0000

Check out Zangief Kid (a.k.a “Little Zangief”) who was being picked on by a smaller kid. The taller sixteen year old boy Casey Heynes, who in turn retaliates by a serious smackdown. Casey has been nicknamed Zangief by the Internet referring to the pro-wrestler character Zangief from the popular video game series Street Fighter. Its a combination of his size, red shirt and of course his take down that looks somewhat like Zangief’s Spinning Piledriver. This all went down in Australia… bitches are saying he should have gotten a teacher, but online he’s being looked at as a hero. Check it out, he’s pretty badass.

Bedroom Intruder – Antoine Dodson

Corey — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 03:59:02 +0000

Who hasn’t seen the Antoine Dodson video at this point? Dodson is a former resident of the Huntsville, Alabama, Lincoln Park housing project, whose interview on the local news became an Internet meme and resulted in an auto-tuned song with The Gregory Brothers which has appeared on the Billboard Hot 100 list. Dodson’s interview was in response to an alleged house intrusion and alleged attempted rape of his sister. The seriousness of the alleged crime and news report gets crazy the second Antoine lets his inner diva let loose to the TV cameras.

The original interview:

The Bedroom Intruder Song:

Chick’s Face Destroyed by Watermelon Sling Shot on CBS’s The Amazing Race

Corey — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:29:52 +0000

Quite possibly the greatest internet video injury ever… especially since she seems to recover pretty well afterward. Submitted by Baxter.

A Fly Landed On My Droid and the Screen Cracked

Jeff — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:08:33 +0000

I just spent the last week telling the world how much I loved my new Motorola Droid phone. What the hell was I thinking. I should have known better than to trust a device from Motorola. Those chumps haven’t made anything good since the beeper. All it took was a small fall from my sofa to the floor…a mere 2 feet…and now my screen is more cracked than Whitney Houston.

It all happened in slow motion. Slowly it started falling off the sofa, inch by inch. I reached for it and felt it sliding past the tips of my fingers. It hovered in the air between the sofa cushion and the floor for what seemed like an eternity. Then it hit. I thought it was ok…for a second. Then I saw the crack. Then another. Then another. The screen of my brand new Droid started splintering like thin sheet of ice.

Come on! 2 feet? Are you kidding me? I could understand if I dropped it on hard concrete. Even then I would expect it to stand up to a fall or two. But no…my droid lasted a mere 6 days and fell victim to a gentle breeze.

Now that I think about it, there were a few other things that I didn’t like about the Droid.

The querty keyboard is nothing more than a waste of space. Its impossible to type anything on the top row because my fingers hit the edge of the screen
The camera sucks. But apparently that is well documented
The battery cover always falls off
The volume always changes unintentionally

Even Verizon Wireless admins there are tons of problems with the Droid. They are planning an over the air update to the application software on December 11th. Well they better not give me a hard time when I return my piece of shit at the Verizon store tomorrow.

If you ask me, the software was the only good part of the Droid. The user experience was awesome. The apps are awesome. The maps are awesome. Hmm….in other words, everything Google was awesome. Do you hear that Motorola? Listen up and fix your piece of shit device. And you better replace my Droid assholes.

UPDATE: So Verizon Wireless was pretty good about replacing my phone. I called the internet orders hotline and they told me they would charge me full price ($579) for the phone, but if I took it into a store, they will probably exchange it. Sure enough my local Verizon store came through. I did have to pay a $50 “return fee”. But oh well. They also stuck me for a body glove and screen guards. So I guess they got what they needed outta me. I still think Motorola makes a shitty piece of hardware. But I am glad to have my Droid back.

Popeye’s Runs Out of Chicken

Corey — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:44:12 +0000

When the Popeyes runs out of chicken in Rochester, NY… the citizens are far from happy. This news report is hysterical (and slightly racist). Check out the woman driving a $35,000 car yelling at the drive thru box with the automated message about being unable to feed her family due to Popeye’s running out of chicken. This is a bonafide gem.

Sears Provides the Perfect Grill for Cooking Humans

Corey — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 19:37:35 +0000

So, it looks like someone in Sear’s tech department was either bored or recently fired, as they have shown Sears to be the purveyor of the perfect grill for someone who eats people. Human Cooking > Grills to Cook Babies and More > Body Part Roaster. Awesome! Who knew Kenmore was the quality choice for the distinguished cannibal. The prank was online for a while, but has since been corrected… fun while it lasted though.

Submitted by Carly

JO On Rails – Most Creatively Disgusting Craigslist Sex Post Ever

Corey — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:22:58 +0000

What’s Up With These Crazy Furniture Commercials?

Corey — Thu, 21 May 2009 22:30:50 +0000

Cheesy cable access commercials aren’t as prevalent as they once were in the 80′s and 90′s, but furniture stores seem to continue to carry the torch. Seems like every state has some sort of furniture commercial that has a guy screaming or singing directly at the camera. Most love to focus on offering lowest prices and credit, and lots of these guys loooooove themes. Let’s examine a few of the most choice furniture commercials.

Let’s start our journey with what seems to be the king of combining themes with bad puns in Indiana with Martin Fine Furniture. He’s dressed up as a cowboy, a teacher, a pirate (walk the plank for buying furniture from a competitor) and simply wearing a lot of hats. The best one is probably the following spaceman themed one:

How about Frankie and Johnnie’s which has the best coiffed salesman do a dance (about 32 seconds in) and then an offer of free fried chicken with purchase. Spend $1000 for a free ten piece. At the end they make the guy eat a piece and say “tastes like momma’s!” – ridiculous:

Check out Love Furniture Center with Iceman King Parson:

How about Red House furniture that promotes racial harmony among black and white people:

Then there’s the best… Montgomery Flea Market – it’s just like a Mini-Mall! This guy is a legit internet superstar, and has even appeared on Ellen. Check him out (especially his eyes):

HKIA Woman Going Insane After Missing Her Flight Video

Corey — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:28:36 +0000

Check out this woman going insane after missing her flight at Hong Kong International Airport. She’s an the newest viral hit and our most recent Internet All-Star. The middle-aged Chinese woman ran at a security guard at the departure gate, and then started yelling “AHHH-EEEE-AHHH,” like a cat being murdered. She had just missed her flight on Cathay Pacific to San Francisco and started screaming “I want to go, I want to go.” The security guard aptly told her to “stop being so emotional” – it didn’t work.

Buzz Pirates » Internet & Technology

Buzz Pirates Officially Endorses Vermin Supreme for President

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Zangief Kid (aka Little Zangief) – Casey Heynes Bully Smackdown

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A Fly Landed On My Droid and the Screen Cracked

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