Douche of the Year: Mel Gibson (Winona Ryder Puts Nail in the Coffin)

Lets go through the list:

Mel Gibson, who made anti-Semitic remarks to an officer after a DUI arrest in 2006, is currently under investigation by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department on possible domestic violence charges involving ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. This past summer tapes of derogatory and profanity-laced tirades, allegedly by Gibson against Grigorieva, were leaked online. Gotta admit that Gibson probably got played by the ex. Still, that doesn’t stop him from being a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, sexist douchebag. For these reasons, the guy who made the movie about Jesus is Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year.

Winona Ryder talks about a run in with Mel Gibson in the January issue of GQ.

“Fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk, I was with my friend, who’s gay. He made a really horrible gay joke.”

After it came up that Ryder is Jewish, Gibson “said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it,” Ryder says.

“It was just this weird, weird moment,” she continues. “I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

Oven dodgers! For this reason and plenty more, Mel Gibson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year. Total Doucher, Fuck You Mel Gibson!

Pat Robertson – Douche of the Day

We should name the Douche of the Day the Pat Robertson award. What religion is it that he’s working behind that fuelspat-robertson his nonstop hateful rhetoric? Robertson said Wednesday that Haiti has been “cursed” because of what he called a “pact with the devil” in its history. His spokesman said the comments were based on Voodoo rituals carried out before a slave rebellion against French colonists in 1791. This guy makes me sick.

Smile Pat Robertson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

You can make a difference that you can feel safe about by donating to the American Red Cross – who just released $10 million in aid to help Haiti or through your cell phone efforts at https://www.causecast.org/mobile/.

Douche of the Day – Keith Bardwell

New Orleans justice of the piece, Keith Bardwell is a racist. This cajun douchebag refused to marry an interracialnew_orleans-758559 couple in Tangipahoa Parish because he doesn’t believe in mixing of the races.

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Like most quasi-intelligent racists…he claims to love black people and have tons of black friends. C’mon man, if you are going to be a southern hick asshole at least have the balls to admit it. This comes on the heels of our mixed race President visiting New Orleans… still don’t believe in mixing of the races Keith? New Orleans has suffered enough the last few years, its time for them to run this guy out of town. He’s been on the job 34 years, and he’s denied other interracial couples before. Now Bardwell’s going to cost the State a ton of money in a civil suit. The denied couple Beth Humphrey, 30, and 32-year-old Terence McKay, both of Hammond, say they will consult the U.S. Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint. I’m sure the ACLU will have a field day with this.

Either way, this is 2009…smile Keith Bardwell, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

Douche of the Day – Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (Kid Dragging Mom)

An woman was arrested Tuesday afternoon after police say she injured her child while dragging it through a Verizon store in Rome, Alabama. Melissa Catherine Smith-Means, 37, of Gaylesville, Ala., was arrested by police around 12:30 p.m. She was charged with felony first-degree cruelty to children.

Police say she was observed by customers and employees at a store on Broad Street, dragging a small child around by a backpack leash. The child had visible marks on the neck from the dragging. Best(worst) part? The whole thing was caught on video! Alabama child dragging is part of the culture I suppose? The video is below.

Smile Melissa Catherine Smith-Means, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

Douche of the Day – Richard Jefferson

NBA Player Richard Jefferson changed his mind about 11 hours before his wedding to his gorgeous fiancé, dancer Kesha Ni’Cole Nichols. Not only did he say peace out to his fiancé, he also failed to let friends and family know; and as they arrived for the ceremony, they were informed that nuptials were canceled.

It’s one thing to cancel on your bride before the wedding. Still, letting all of your guests show up to what will turn out to be the most embarrassing day of Kesha’s life is terrible. Kesha’s call us, we’ll be your shoulder.

Smile Richard Jefferson – you are our douche of the day…unless she was, like, a pain in the ass or something – then you are off the hook.

Douche of the Day – Dorothy Richards – The Bambi Killing, Shovel Swinging Septuagenarian

Dorothy Richards of Euclid, Ohio is our oldest Douche of the Day so far… she earns the title for beating a baby deer to death with a shovel. Richards was arrested when three of her neighbors told police that she had beat the fawn to death. The old lady beat Bambi to death after finding it messing with her flower garden.

The city’s cruelty charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The state charge (if pursued) is punishable by a maximum 90 days in jail and $750 fine. Unfortunately for Richards, the story is picking up steam nationwide. This means that the community will be under pressure to throw the book at the Bambi hating, shovel swinging, septuagenarian. Looks like Dorothy Richard’s might be soon be wearing Michael Vick’s other jersey… an orange jumpsuit.

Here’s hoping the state scores one for the fawn… smile Dorothy Richards, you are Buzz Pirates’ Douche of the Day!

Douche of the Day – German Shoe Thief Fox

That’s right you heard me. Turns out a German fox stole 100 shoes in the small western German town of Foehren.

A forest ranger found some shoes near the fox’s den and came upon a smorgasbord of footwear down the foxhole which had recently been stolen from outside locals’ front doors. I guess German’s leave their shoes outside?

“There was everything from ladies’ shoes to trainers,” said a Foehren policeman. “We’ve found between 110 and 120 so far. It seems a vixen stole them for her cubs to play with.”

Although many were missing laces, the shoes were in good condition and their owners were delighted to reclaim them, said the police spokesmen, adding that revenge wasn’t planned against the lil’ rascal. I’m surprised that the people wanted their shoes back after it had weird German fox diseases all over them.

Either way Ms. Fox, get your own damn shoes… not you Megan, you can grab our Buster Browns any time, you lil’ vixen you. Ooh, and the band Vixen you can polish our Bostonians at your leisure… and Foxy Knoxy, Amanda Knox you scare us, but please feel free to peruse our loafers and try to not to sex murder us.

Smile German Shoe nabbing fox, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

Tea Baggers! Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

I don’t think our Founding Fathers had this in mind…. Tea Bagging…

From the new “Tea Party” :

“In 1773, a handful of men dumped tea into the Boston Harbor. That one act set in motion a chain of events that birthed the greatest nation on earth. But today, many Americans feel helpless as they watch an imperialistic government destroy our Constitution and 237 years of liberty.

The first American Tea Party birthed a nation. The second American Tea Party could help save it!”

Started on CNBC, where someone in Chicago came up with an updated version of the Boston Tea Party to protest the Obama bailouts and stimulus plan. The protest was scheduled for today… tax day… a relatively inspired idea, right? “No taxation without representation” was the rallying cry of the original protesters, who through British tea overboard in Boston Harbor. But, my goodness, is there anyone involved with this party that never heard of the modern day use of “Tea bagging”. For that reason today the Tea Party has officially became famous for all the wrong reasons and conservative Republicans furthered their image as out of touch, old and clueless.

C’mon… who let these people go outside with those signs! I bet there’s liuntitledke, 30,000 people nationwide with a Fantasy Football team or screen name of “tea bagger or tea bagging” or some such thing. There’s even a character on Prison Break named T-Bag. Do your homework people!

The Urban Dictionary must be lighting up… here are they’re definitions of tea bagging…

1. The act of putting your balls in and out of a persons mouth.
2. The act of lowering one’s balls onto someones face, or into their mouth while they are laying down. Kind of resembles dipping a tea bag into a hot cup of water.
3. When a guy lowers his junk, or balls, onto someones face, or into their mouth, while they are lying on the ground. Resembles dunking a tea bag into a hot cup of water.

Smile Tea Party… you tea bagging fools… you are Buzz Pirates Douche(s) of the Day

Douche of the Day – Latreasa L. Goodman (McDonalds 911 Call)

Latreasa L. Goodman, you love you some McNuggets, girl. Fort Pierce, Fl police say Goodman called 911 three times after McDonald’s employees told her they were out of McNuggets. You read that correctly. Apparently the woman paid for a 10-piece McNuggets only to then be told they had run out. Still, she was told no refunds and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate and irrational… big surprise. Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. She’s not “lovin it.” A McDonald’s representative, sensing the PR nightmare, said that the 27-year old Goodman should have been refunded the money. McDonald’s is sending Latreasa a refund and a gift certificate for a free meal.

Smile Latreasa L. Goodman, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

TMZ.com was able to get a copy of the 911 call… check it out below.

Douche of the Day: Chris Brown Arrested for Assaulting Rhianna

Why did Chris Brown Beat Up Rhianna? Chris Brown will be asking himself that question for years if his career takes a nosedive after his arrest on Sunday. Plus, any guy who hits a girl is total scumbag – so, Chris Brown is our douche of the day.

On a night in which he was supposed to be performing at the Grammy’s, 19 year old singer Chris Brown spent the night being processed for assaulting girlfriend singer Rhianna. The incident happened in a rich Los Angeles neighborhood and the consequences are already coming down for Brown – sponsor Wrigley already dropped him.

The singer has a wholesome image that will be flushed down the toilet as news surfaces about the incident. Chris Brown has had a string of hits and his squeaky clean image was a huge asset.

Rhianna probably needed an umbrella…ella…ella as the punches rained down upon her? Too soon?

Well, in all seriousness, I hope this 20 year old hotty does a service to women who suffer assholes everywhere and dumps this guy on his ass, complete with a weepy interview that destroys his career. Any guy who hits a girl is a pussy. Therefore, Chris Brown you are a pussy, so…

smile Chris Brown you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.