Tax Day Freebies 2011!

It seems like every year now more and more companies offer free stuff on tax day. The Saturday tax day may have mixed up the offers a bit, but act fast or miss out on 2011 tax day giveaways.

  • Arby’s: On April 15 at participating locations, receive one order of Value Curly Fries for free between the hours of 11 am and 10 pm. To receive this coupon you must first “like” Arby’s Facebook page.
  • Bally Total Fitness: For current members only, sign up by April 21 for a free 30-minute personal training session at your participating Bally’s gym.
  • Chemistry: Through April 18, receive 3 free membership days and a free personality test.
  • Chili’s: On April 18 at participating locations, receive a free appetizer or dessert via this printable coupon.
  • Cinnabon: On April 18, from 6 pm until 8 pm at participating stores, get two free Cinnabon Bites.
  • H&R Block: At participating locations, receive a free tax extension.
  • HydroMassage: Through April 18, receive a free hydromassage at participating locations. Appointments are encouraged.
  • Maggie Moo’s: On April 18, from 3 pm to 6 pm at participating stores, get a free mini ice cream sundae.
  • McCormick & Schmick’s: On April 15 at participating stores, bar guests receive a free $10.40 certificate.
  • Office Depot: Through April 23, receive free downloadable tax forms, make up to 25 copies of your tax return, or shred up to 5 lbs. of paper for free via this coupon.

Discounts

  • Bally Total Fitness: For non-members only, sign up for a 2-Year Premier National Access membership for $418 (a savings of $61).
  • Bruegger’s: Through April 18, get a Big Bagel Bundle for just $10.40 when you “like” Bruegger’s Facebook page.
  • California Tortilla: On April 18, receive a free order of chips and cheese or chips and salsa with any purchase.
  • Hooters: On April 18 at participating locations, buy 10 boneless or traditional wings and get 10 additional wings for free.
  • IHOP: Through April 30 at participating locations, children 12 and under eat free from 4 pm to 10 pm with the purchase of one adult entreé.
  • McCormick & Schmick’s: On April 18 at participating stores, enjoy $10.40 entreés.
  • P.F. Chang’s: On April 18 at participating locations, receive 15% off all dine-in and take-out orders.
  • The Children’s Place: Through April 17, take 20% off in-store or online purchases via coupon code “TAX11″.

Top 25 Charlie Sheen Quotes – Winning.

Charlie Sheen is epic. Charlie Sheen has porn star goddesses living with him. Unless you are living under a rock, you’ve seen the warlock that is Charlie Sheen on fire recently, appearing everywhere, spewing venom and craziness in the wake of his show number 1 rated show,  Two and a Half Men, being taken off the air. I’ve never seen Two and a Half Men, but it is now my favorite show. It appears that Charlie Sheen finally has the power to beat up Chuck Norris and Mr. T at the same time. The guy has become a human quote machine, so enjoy his 25 best quotes… so far. We are sure there are more to come so feel free to add any we missed.

25. “I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”

24. “Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”

23. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

22. “You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

21. “If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ “It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

20. “I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.  I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”

19. “Can’t is the cancer of happening.”

18. “Wow.  What does that mean? I’m bi-WINNING.”

17. “I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”

16. “C’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”

15. “Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”

14. “It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don’t have time for these clowns.”

13. “You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

12. “I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps.”

11. “I’m an F-18, bro.”

10. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”

9. “I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitching and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin’.”

8. “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

7. “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”

6. “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

5. “[CBS] picked a fight with a warlock.”

4. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

3. “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

2. “I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”

and of course the easy pick for number 1…

1. “Winning.”

Douche of the Year: Mel Gibson (Winona Ryder Puts Nail in the Coffin)

Lets go through the list:

Mel Gibson, who made anti-Semitic remarks to an officer after a DUI arrest in 2006, is currently under investigation by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department on possible domestic violence charges involving ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. This past summer tapes of derogatory and profanity-laced tirades, allegedly by Gibson against Grigorieva, were leaked online. Gotta admit that Gibson probably got played by the ex. Still, that doesn’t stop him from being a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, sexist douchebag. For these reasons, the guy who made the movie about Jesus is Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year.

Winona Ryder talks about a run in with Mel Gibson in the January issue of GQ.

“Fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk, I was with my friend, who’s gay. He made a really horrible gay joke.”

After it came up that Ryder is Jewish, Gibson “said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it,” Ryder says.

“It was just this weird, weird moment,” she continues. “I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

Oven dodgers! For this reason and plenty more, Mel Gibson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Year. Total Doucher, Fuck You Mel Gibson!

Kobe Stars in Controversial but Awesome Call of Duty: Black Ops Commercial

Kobe Bryant took some heat in the media for his role in this Call of Duty: Black Ops commercial. Jimmy Kimmel and the Rolling Stones’ Give Me Shelter also set the mood for the popular video game’s commercial. I can tell you first hand that the game is phenomenal and I think the commercial is great. It basically shows a bunch of normal people in war like conditions like in the game. Certainly war is not something to be taken lightly, but, c’mon man, its a video game. I think its fun. Quick fact: Call of Duty: Black Ops made more money on its first day then Toy Story 3 made in its entire theatrical run. How’s that for relevance?

Most Memorable Quotes from Avatar

Selfridge: This is why we’re here; because this little gray rock sells for twenty million a kilo.

Neytiri: You should not be here.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Just relax and let your mind go blank. That shouldn’t be too hard for you.

Jake Sully: Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world, and in here is the dream.

Col. Quaritch: You haven’t got lost in the woods, have you? You still remember what team you’re playing for?

Neytiri: You are Omaticaya now. You may make your bow from the wood of Hometree. And you may choose a woman. We have many fine women. Ninat is the best singer.
Jake Sully: I don’t want Ninat.
Neytiri: Peyral is a good hunter.
Jake Sully: Yes, she is a good hunter. But I’ve already chosen. But this woman must also choose me.
Neytiri: [smiles] She already has.
[They kiss]

Selfridge: [In the tech room, Selfridge putts a golf ball into a mug and laughs] You see that?
Worker: Yes sir!
Selfridge: No you didn’t, you were looking at the monitor. I love this putter, Ronnie! I love this putter!
Dr. Grace Augustine: Parker. You know, I used to think it was benign neglect, but now I see that you are intentionally screwing me.
Selfridge: Grace, you know, I enjoy our little talks.
[He putts the ball again, it's about to go in the mug but Grace kicks the mug away]
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Deadpan] Oops.

Jake Sully: There’s no such thing as an ex-marine. You may be out, but you never lose the attitude.

Col. Quaritch: We have an indigenous population of humanoids called the Na’vi.

Dr. Max Patel: Grace, this is Jake Sully.
Jake Sully: Madame.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, yeah, I know who you are and I don’t need you. I need your brother. You know, the PHD who trained for 3 years for this mission.
Jake Sully: He’s dead. I know it’s a big inconvenience for everyone.
Dr. Grace Augustine: How much lab training have you had?
Jake Sully: I dissected a frog once.

Col. Quaritch: This low gravity makes you soft. You get soft and Pandora will shit you out dead with zero warning.

Col. Quaritch: Look, Sully, I want you to learn this savages from the inside, I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won’t.

[Grace is showing pictures of the Na'vi to Jake so he remembers them]
Dr. Grace Augustine: Okay, let’s run through them again.
Jake Sully: [Sees a picture] Mo’at. The Dragon lady.
[Sees next picture]
Jake Sully: Eytukan.
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Says the name correctly] Eytukan. He’s the clan leader. But she’s the spiritual leader. Like a chaman.
Jake Sully: Got it.
[Sees next picture]
Jake Sully: Tsu’tey
Dr. Grace Augustine: [Says the name correctly] Tsu’tey.
Jake Sully: Tsu’tey.
Dr. Grace Augustine: He’ll be the next clan leader.
Jake Sully: [Sees next picture] Neytiri.
Dr. Grace Augustine: She’ll be the next “Tsahik”. They’ll become a mated pair.
Jake Sully: So who’s this Eywa?
Norm Spellman: Who’s Eywa? Only their deity! Their goddess, maker of all living things. Everything they know! You’d know this if you’ve had any training whatsoever.
Jake Sully: [Shows him Neytiri's picture] Who’s got a date with the chief’s daughter?
Norm Spellman: Oh, come on!

Dr. Grace Augustine: I’m going to Selfridge.
Dr. Max Patel: No, Grace.
Dr. Grace Augustine: I’m going to kick his corporate butt. He has no business sticking his nose in my department.

Col. Quaritch: You are not in Kansas anymore, you are on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen, respect that fact every second of every day.

Dr. Grace Augustine: They’re pissing on us and not even giving us the courtesy of calling it rain.

[last lines]
Jake Sully: Well, uh, I guess this is my last video log. Whatever happens tonight, either way, I’m not going to be coming back to this place. Well, I guess I better go. I don’t wanna be late for my own party. It’s my birthday, after all. This is Jake Sully signing off.

Trudy Chacon: [fires on Quaritch's Hellicopter] Your’e not the only one with a gun, Bitch!

Jake Sully: They’re not going to give up their home. They’re not going to make a deal. Pff for what? A light beer and blue jeans? There’s nothing that we have that they want. Everything they sent me out here to do is a waste of time. They’re never going to leave hometree.

Jake Sully: With your permission, I will speak now. You would honor me by translating.

Jake Sully: Look, they sent me here to learn your ways. So that one day I could bring this message and that you would believe it.

Jake Sully: Look, at first it was just orders. And then, everything changed. Okay, I fell in love. I fell in love with the, with the forest, with the Omaticaya people, with you. With you.

Dr. Grace Augustine: Don’t play with that. You’ll go blind.

Neytiri: You have a strong heart. No fear… but stupid! Ignorant like a child!

Col. Quaritch: Thanks Jake, I’m gettin all emotional, ‘might just give you a big wet kiss!
Moat: It is hard to fill a cup that is already full.
Jake Sully: My cup is empty. Trust me. Just ask Dr. Augustine. I’m no scientist.
Moat: Then what are you?
Jake Sully: I was a marine. A warrior… of the uh… Jarhead Clan.

Neytiri: I’m with you now, Jake. We are mated for life.
Jake Sully: What the hell are you doing, Jake?

Dr. Grace Augustine: Stay with the ship. One idiot with a gun is enough.

Col. Quaritch: Hey Sully… how does it feel to betray your own race? You think you’re one of them? Time to wake up!

Norm Spellman: Oh… my… God…
Trudy Chacon: [laughs] You should see your faces.

Tsu’tey: YOU!
[pushes Jake, Neytiri exclaims]
Tsu’tey: You mating with this woman?
Dr. Grace Augustine: Oh, shit!

Trudy Chacon: Screw this. I didn’t sign up for this shit!

Dr. Grace Augustine: [Emerging from her avatar pod] Where’s my goddamn cigarette? What’s wrong with this picture!

Jake Sully: The sky people have sent us a message… that they can take whatever they want… and no one can stop them… well we will send them a message… You ride out as fast as the wind can carry you… you tell the other clans to come… You tell them Toruk Mak Tao calls to them… and you fly now with me… my brothers, sisters… And we will show the sky people that they cannot take whatever they want… Because this… this is our land.

Trudy Chacon: I was hoping for some kind of tactical plan that didn’t involve martyrdom.

Selfridge: Isn’t that the whole point of your little puppet show? You walk like them, you talk like them. We build them a school, teach them English, but after how many years the relations with the indigenous are only getting worse.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, well that tends to happen when you use machine guns on them.

Neytiri: Your ikran must choose you in return.
Jake Sully: How will I know if he chooses me?
Neytiri: He will try to kill you.
Jake Sully: Outstanding.

[repeated line]
Neytiri: I See you.

Col. Quaritch: I take care of my own son. You get me what I need, I make sure that when you rotate home you get your legs back, your real legs.
Jake Sully: That sounds real good sir.

Col. Quaritch: I want this mission high and tight. I want to be home for dinner.

Col. Quaritch: Out beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubees.

Col. Quaritch: I can do it with minimal casualties to the indigenous. We’ll clear them out with gas first. It’ll be humane. More or less.

Trudy Chacon: We’re going up against gunships with bows and arrows.
Jake Sully: Well, I guess we better stop him.

Selfridge: Look you’re supposed to be winning the hearts and minds of the natives. Isn’t that the whole point of your little puppet show? If you walk like them, you talk like them they’ll trust you. We build them a school, teach them English. But after – how many years – the relations with the indigenous are only getting worse.
Dr. Grace Augustine: Yeah, well that tends to happen when you use machine guns on them.
Selfridge: Right. Come with me. You see this? This is why we’re here. Because this little gray rock sells for $20 million a kilo. This is what pays for the whole party, and it’s what pays for your science. Those savages are threatening our whole operation. We’re on the brink of war and you’re supposed to be finding me a diplomatic solution. So use what you’ve got, and get me some results

Jake Sully: What are they?
Neytiri: Seed to the Secret tree. Very pure spirits.
Jake Sully: Aha…

Dr. Grace Augustine: What are you gonna do, Ranger Rick? Huh, you gonna shoot me?
Col. Quaritch: I could do that.
Col. Quaritch: If there is a hell you might want to go there for some R&R after a tour on Pandora

Col. Quaritch: As head of security, it’s my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed – not with all of you.

Jake Sully: Sometimes your whole life boils down to one insane move

The Top 3 Super Bowl Commercials – Betty White, Doritos Kid and Super Bowl Shuffle 2.0

Snickers: “You’re playing like Betty White out there” – “That’s not what your girlfriend said” was the funniest line I’ve heard in a commercial in quite some time. Don’t front on Abe Vigoda either.

Doritos: “These are the rules,” the kid says. “Keep your hands off my mama, and keep your hands off my Doritos.”

Boost Mobile: The Bears Super Bowl Shuffle 2.0 with Jim McMahon and Coach Mike Ditka was funny and out there.

UFC Photo Fight Mayhem! Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin

Welcome Buzz Pirates newest contributor and resident mixed martial arts expert Gregg. Armed with killer instincts, actual jiu jitsu skills, and encyclopedic knowledge of UFC, some spare time  and of course a nice set of dolls check out this photo fight. UFC Photo Fight Mayhem… Silva vs. Griffin… you ready? Let’s Get It On!

Pat Robertson – Douche of the Day

We should name the Douche of the Day the Pat Robertson award. What religion is it that he’s working behind that fuelspat-robertson his nonstop hateful rhetoric? Robertson said Wednesday that Haiti has been “cursed” because of what he called a “pact with the devil” in its history. His spokesman said the comments were based on Voodoo rituals carried out before a slave rebellion against French colonists in 1791. This guy makes me sick.

Smile Pat Robertson, you are Buzz Pirates Douche of the Day.

You can make a difference that you can feel safe about by donating to the American Red Cross – who just released $10 million in aid to help Haiti or through your cell phone efforts at https://www.causecast.org/mobile/.

Howard Stern Mixes up Sarah Palin’s Audio Book and Goes Rogue for Laughs

Sarah Palin is having a pretty good run recently, she just signed a multi-year deal with Fox News and her book Going Rogue is flying off the shelves. Still, Howard Stern’s staff did a mash up of the audio book, and its hilarious. If you don’t have the patience to listen to the whole thing, i beg of you to go right to the 2:00 minute mark for a super long, sexual, spliced together story that is dirty and very funny.

Leaked A-Team Movie Trailer!

The A-Team movie is set to release on June 11, and we’ve got the leaked trailer right here. Some of the scenes look a little blurry, but check out Bradley Cooper as Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, Liam Neeson as Col. John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, Jessica Biel as Lt. Sosa, Sharlto Copley (District 9) as Capt. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock and Quinton Jackson filling Mr. T’s mohawk as Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus.