Vassup?! Bruno Quotes

Like it or not, Bruno is the number one movie in a America. Although some of its scenes seem to push the wrong buttons, its undeniable that the movie is filled with funny scenes, memorable lines and outrageous scenarios. Personally I think the movie is a one-trick pony, that reinforces stereotypes versus shattering them. Still, shocking moments in the movie will prove to be memorable for anyone who sees it. We are probably missing a bunch, but here’s some of the best quotes from Bruno. What are we missing?

Bruno: Why are you so anti-Hamas? I mean, isn’t pita bread the real enemy?
Yossi Alpher (ex-Mossad chief): You’re confusing Hamas with hummus, I believe.
Ghassan Khatib (former Palestinian Minister): Do you think there is a relation between Hamas and hummus?
Bruno: Was the founder of Hamas a chef? He had created the food and then got lots of followers.
Alpher: Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas. It’s a food, OK. We eat it. They eat it.
Khatib: It’s vegetarian. It’s healthy. It’s beans.

Harrison Ford: Fuck Off!

Preacher: These lips are for praising Jesus.

Bruno: [drops his pants around his ankles] Whoops!
Ron Paul: This is ended.

Bruno: (Narrating after Ron Paul Leaves) – I couldn’t even get Ru Paul

TV Host: So what’s the baby’s name?
Bruno: I gave him like a traditional African name: O.J.
Female Audience Member: What?!

Drill Sergeant 1: Oh my gosh! You gotta be out of your mind.
Drill Sergeant 2: What kind of belt is that, candidate?
Bruno: D&G.
Drill Sergeant: What is D&G?
Bruno: Dolce & Gabbana, hello
Both Drill Sergeants: Hello?!

Look at the evil people in the world, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Stalin what do they all have in common? Moustaches!

Do you think if we changed the Bible stories maybe you would get people more easily to relate to them? Instead of the fish story you could do it about Sushi, or instead of giving out bread you did something which had a no-carb alternative or gluten free.

The baby is a man magnet

Drill Sergeant: Your finger’s in my alley!
Bruno: Not yet.

Bruno: [to his hunting partners]: Look at the four of us. We are so like the ‘Sex and the City’ girls.
Donny: No, no, we aren’t, either.
Bruno: Which one are you, Donny?
Donny: I ain’t any one of them. I’m Donny.
Bruno: That is such a Samantha thing to say.

How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?  How do you defend yourself against a man with two dildos?

Bruno: How do you defend yourself from an attack by a homosexual?
Martial Arts Instructor: Well, they usually attack from behind.

Ist am going to wear a jumpsuit entirely made out of Velcro.

Your leader looks like a dirty wizard.

5 thoughts on “Vassup?! Bruno Quotes

  1. How exactly does the part go where Bruno is naked and he goes to Mike’s tent with a hand full of condoms?

  2. You fuckasses. Bruno is the mega-fucking fucker just like u assfuck bitch shitsuckers

  3. It’s – Ve are so like ze sex & ze city girlz, vich von are you donnie? oh zat is such a sumata ting too sauy

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