The Ballad of Porkins (the Fat Guy Pilot’s Death in Star Wars)

If you are a big Star Wars fan, you remember ill fated “Porkins.” Not only was he a fat guy saddled with the name “Porkins,” but he died, from, like nothing other then being fat when his X-Wing Fighter blew up at the very beginning of the attack of the Death Star – also known as the Battle of Yavin IV.

According to the Wookiepeedia, Porkins flew as Red Six during the Battle of Yavin, his skills at strafing aiding the Rebels early in the battle. However, when his T-65 X-wing starfighter was struck by debris, leaving him with several mechanical and computer malfunctions, Porkins was hit by enemy turbolaser fire and killed.

Jek Porkins: “I’ve got a problem here.”
Biggs Darklighter: “Eject.”
Jek Porkins: “I can hold it.”
Biggs Darklighter: “Pull up!” ”
Jek Porkins: “No, I’m all-Aaaaaaahhhhhh”

He’s not quite as cool as Admiral Ackbar’s “It’s a Trap,” but, lets remember him for his fat death.

…but maybe his proclivities are to blame…

…and the Family Guy version…

3 thoughts on “The Ballad of Porkins (the Fat Guy Pilot’s Death in Star Wars)

  1. What good would come of ejecting in the vacuum of space? Can you imagine the pressure on his rotund figure?

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