There’s going to be a ton more rain and snow heading into the winter. The culprit for the crappy weather is El Niño. The global coupled ocean-atmosphere phenomenon is clearly best explained by Chris Farley. Enjoy.
To be a celebrity means that your every move will be watched and documented. Whether it be praise or criticism, there isn’t much that goes unnoticed. So, how ironic that when some of these celebrities left this world, their deaths were trumped by a bigger or better celebrity death.
These four died within the same week, Michael and Farrah on the same day. On any other day, Farrah would have gotten some serious recognition, but MJ was the clear winner here. Ed and Billy got some small print recognition.
June 25, 2009
Michael Jackson-King of Pop
Farrah Fawcett-Charlie’s Angel
June 24, 2009
Ed McMahon-Carson’s sidekick and deliverer of large checks
June 29, 2009
Billy Mays-King of Infomercials and robust beards. Most importantly, he died on notice.
Going back in time-same day deaths:
Jim Henson-Muppet Maker and Sammy Davis, Jr.-singer, dancer, Rat Pack member both died on May 16, 1990. Winner: Henson, as it seems he got more press. Close call though.
Groucho Marx-comedian/Marx brother died on August 16th, 1977and Elvis Presley-King of Rock & Roll died on August 19, 1977. Winner-blue suede shoe wearer, Elvis. Fair to say that when news broke of Elvis’ death, Groucho’s publicity went the way of Farrah’s. Although Elvis maybe be alive as he has shared his thoughts with us on the 2008 Presidential Election and the economy.
Aldous Huxley-author of classic American novel “Brave New World” and C. S. Lewis-Wrote “Chronicles of Narnia” series both died on 22 November 1963. And of course both were overshadowed by the death on that day of John F. Kennedy-President. Winner-JFK…the poor guy was assassinated after all and that deat
h is the original “I remember where I was when I found out —— died?”
Buddy Holly-singer/songwriter and one of the first inductees to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Ritchie Valens-singer/songwriter, first Latino rock and roller and The Big Bopper-DJ/singer/songwriter all died together in a plane crash on February 3, 1959 (known as the day the music died). No winners here.
Orville Wright-airplane inventor and Gandhi-India’s spiritual leader both passed on January 30, 1948. Winner-Gandhi for his do-gooder ways. Although, without Orville Wright, I would not be flying Jet Blue with a TV at my seat, eating those adorable blue chips. Another tough call. Still, I think a nation of a billion would agree its Gandhi.
John Adams-2nd president of these United States and Thomas Jefferson-third president both died on July 4, 1826. Possible Bonus for July 4 being the day, being that they both signed the Declaration of Independence. Winner-Jefferson. He is responsible for bringing french fries to the U.S. Nuff said.
Not on the same day but pretty close:
Robert Mitchum-movie actor, died on July 1, 1997 and Jimmy Stewart-actor, perhaps best known for role in “It’s A Wonderful Life” passed the following day. Winner-Stewart. He was named the third Gr
eatest Male Star of All Time by the American Film Institute. Mitchum was not named #1 or #2.
Ronald Reagan-American president died on June 5, 2004 and Ray Charles-visually impaired musician died five days later, on the day of Reagan’s funeral. Winner-Ray Charles… his music will live forever, plus they had the movie and whatnot.
Of note, Princess Diana-Princess of Whales was tragically killed in a car accident on August 31, 1997 and Mother Teresa-nun, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize died on September 5, 1997. Heaven got a couple of great lady humanitarians that week but Diana definitely got more coverage.
Johnny Cash-singer/songwriter passed on September 10, 2003. John Ritter-comedic actor, best known as Jack Tripper of “Three’s Company” died unexpectedly on September 11, 2003. The world lost two John’s in two days-no winners here.
submitted by Lauren
A 29 year old temporary worker has died after falling into a vat of melted chocolate in a New Jersey processing plant.
The terrifying and delicious death sounds like fudge frenzy nightmare.
The Cocoa Services Inc. plant worker fell after a blade used to mix raw chocolate hit him. The man’s name has not been released, but he might as well be Augustus Gloop (the fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).
The accident happened today as the worker was loading raw chocolate into the vat where it’s melted and mixed and then shipped elsewhere to be made into candy products. Prosecutor’s spokesman Jason Laughlin said a co-worker tried to shut off the machine and two others tried to pull the man out of the 8-foot deep vat. Cocoa Services hires a second company — Lyons and Sons — to do the mixing.
Dorothy Richards of Euclid, Ohio is our oldest Douche of the Day so far… she earns the title for beating a baby deer 
to death with a shovel. Richards was arrested when three of her neighbors told police that she had beat the fawn to death. The old lady beat Bambi to death after finding it messing with her flower garden.
The city’s cruelty charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The state charge (if pursued) is punishable by a maximum 90 days in jail and $750 fine. Unfortunately for Richards, the story is picking up steam nationwide. This means that the community will be under pressure to throw the book at the Bambi hating, shovel swinging, septuagenarian. Looks like Dorothy Richard’s might be soon be wearing Michael Vick’s other jersey… an orange jumpsuit.
Here’s hoping the state scores one for the fawn… smile Dorothy Richards, you are Buzz Pirates’ Douche of the Day!
Now that Michael Jackson has passed away, we can unlock one of his countless secrets… the Anti-Gravity Lean in the 
Smooth Criminal video. So, how’d he do it? The answer is more complicated than you’d think.
The effect in the video when Michael Jackson and the backup dancers lean forward was created by special harnesses with wires and magnets. Michael wanted to be able to recreate the dance move/effect in the live show, but the wires and magnets would be too much on stage. Michael and his choreography people created and patented a new innovative way to recreate the effect onstage in 1993.
The mechanism consists of pegs that rise from the stage at the appropriate moment, and special shoes with ankle supports and cutouts in the heels which can slide over the pegs and be thereby attached to the stage temporarily. These allow the dancers to lean without needing to keep their centers of gravity directly over their feet. Check out the video below…specifically the dancer getting caught in the pegs and almost busting his ass.
The patent expires in 2012 – so get ready for thousands of imitators – probably not – well, it was still cool at the time.
Hayden Panettiere seems to be at every the premiere of everything. Still, working hard is paying off as the Heroes hottie
has been climbing the Hollywood ranks at the ripe old age of 19. She rose through the rank doing modeling work and acting on soap operas Guiding Light and One Life to Live. Her steady rise as this week as she takes center stage as the titular temptress in the movie I Love You, Beth Cooper. She’s worked as a model, singer and commercial pitch man. She’s also been heavily involved in animal causes…there’s even an arrest warrant against her in Japan for her fight for dolphins.
Tattoo Trouble – She has a tattoo across her back with the words “Vivere senza rimipianti”[sic] which is Italian for “To live without regrets” but the correct spelling is “rimpianti”.
Endorsements - Neutrogena, Got Milk? and Kohl’s Candies brand.
Family - Panettiere was born and raised in Palisades, Rockland County, New York. Her mother is Lesley R. Vogel, a former soap opera actress, and her father is Alan L. “Skip” Panettiere, a fire department lieutenant. She has one younger brother, actor Jansen Panettiere.
Dating - She dated Stephen Colletti, of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia.
Selected Filmography:
With Bruno ready to hit theaters this week, what better time to look back at Sasha Baron Cohen’s other masterpiece of
shock/reality comedy. There are tons of classic lines in Borat. The full name of the movie – Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is a mouthful. Here are the best quotes from Borat, we’ll see if Bruno can top Borat in funny lines as well as box office success.
Home in Kazakhstan:
Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.
He is my neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success!
Go, kids! Smash the Jew chick before he hatches!
There lives Nursultan Tulyakbay. He’s still asshole. I get iPod, he only get iPod Mini. Everybody know it for girls!
This is my mother. She oldest woman in village. She 43!
This is Natalya. (Kisses her). She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. Niice!
Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say “You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la.” He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes “You never get this.” But one time he break cage and he “get this” and then we all laugh. High five!
Kickin’ it in Atlanta:
Atlanta Kid: What kinda music you listen to?
Borat: I uh like a very much Korki Buchek you know Korki Buchek? Bing-Bang-Bing-Bang-Bing-dl-dl-ding-ding *click* *click* *click-click* Bing-Bang-Bing-Bang-Bing-dl-dl-ding-ding *click* *click*
What’s up with it, Vanilla face? Me and my homie Azamat just parked our slab outside. We’re looking for somewhere to post up our Black asses for the night. So, uh, bang bang, skeet skeet, nigga. Just a couple of pimps, no hos.
Dealing with Gypsy:
Gypsy, who is this woman you have shrunk?
I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?
Buying a Car:
Borat What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with shaved vazhïn?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.
Borat: I want to have a car that attract a woman with shave down below.
Car Dealership owner: Well that would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.
Car Dealership owner: We’ll try to help you out here.
Borat: A man yesterday, tell me if I buy a car I must buy one with a pussy magnet.
Car Dealership owner: He means a car that women like.
Borat: Yes, but where do you keep this magnet?
Car Dealership owner: [interrupts] No. There’s no magnet he just means the vehicle. Women love the Hummers.
Borat: Do this have a pussy magnet?
Car Dealership owner: No. The vehicle itself would be a magnet.
Borat: If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet?
Car Dealership owner: Yeah but there’s no-there’s no such thing in this country as a-as a magnet.
Borat: If this car drive into a group of gypsies, will there be any damage to the car?
Car Dealership owner: It depends on how hard you hit them and all that.
Borat: *Hard*
Car Dealership owner: You might-if somebody rolls on the windshield, they could crack your windshield.
Borat: How fast do I need to go to guarantee I kill them?
Car Dealership owner: Uh-let me tell you something with this vehicle here probably doing 35-45 miles per hour will do it.
Borat: Great! When I uh, buy my wife, at the start she was uh, cook good, her vazhïn work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years when she was fifteen, then she become weak, her voice become deep: BORAT BORAT, eh, she receive hair on chest, and vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard.
Car Dealership owner: Huh-Jesus…
Borat: How do I know that this will not happen with the car?
Car Dealership owner: Chevrolette guarantees you that with a warranty.
Borat: I like-a very much buy this Hummers, how much is it?
Car Dealership owner: Fifty-two thousand.
Borat: I am looking for something between um, six-hundred to uh… six-hundred and fifty dollars.
Car Dealership owner: We don’t have any cars for six-fifty that you can buy. I might be able to sell you a wholesale car, a car with a lot of miles for seven-hundred with no warranty.
Driving Lesson:
Borat:Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Driving Instructor: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Borat: A-why not?
Driving Instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: WHAT…? You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consensual. How ’bout that?
Borat: [turns to Instructor, pauses] Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That’s good, huh?
Borat: [pause] Is not good for me.
Borat: Who is this car that follow us? I wish it didn’t follow us anymore.
Driving Instructor: Oh, I don’t know.
Borat: Maybe we lose them.
Driving Instructor: No, we better not lose them.
Borat: [yelling at the passing car] Hey, don’t look at me. Eat my tits!
Driving Instructor: All right. We’ll make a right turn up here.
Borat: Don’t look at me like that! I will eat your shit.
Driving Instructor: Hey, don’t do that.
Borat: You fuck my mother.
Driving Instructor: Hey, hey. You can’t do that.
Borat: No, he do before. He look on me.
Driving Instructor: You can’t do that, okay? They’re gonna throw us in jail, me with you. You can’t…
Borat: Why in jail? He look on me- la-la-la behind.
Driving Instructor: You can’t say that.
Borat: I like you, do you like me?
Driving Instructor: Of course I like you.
Borat: You are my friend?
Driving Instructor: You’re a nice young man and, yes, I am your friend.
Borat: You will be my boyfriend?
Driving Instructor: No, I won’t be your boyfriend.
Borat: Why not?
Driving Instructor: Okay, yeah, I guess I can be your boyfriend.
At Rodeo:
My name i’ Borat, I come a-from Kazakhstan. Can I say a-first, we support your war of terror.
May we show our support for our boys in Iraq.
May U.S. and they a-kill every single terrorist.
May a-George Bush a-drink the blood of every single man, woman, and child of Iraq.
May you destroy their country so that for the next thousand years not even a single lizard will survive in their desert.
May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!
Learning About the United States:
You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?
He insist we not fly in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11.
I arrived in America’s airport with clothing, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.
I feel like American movie star Dirty Harold…Go ahead, make my day, Jew…
This suit is NOT BLACK!
Loving Pam Anderson:
The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and making romance explosion on her stomach.
This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I have ever seen. She had golden hairs, teeth as white as pearls, and the asshole of a seven-year-old. For the first time in my lifes, I was in love.
Sadly, I cannot go after Pamela or else my wife will snap off my cock.
Pamela, I am no longer attracted to you… NOT!
Honorary titles and nicknames often given to popular music artists by themselves, the media, fans, record companies and marketing teams. Some are given to legendary performers (The King – Elvis) others not so legendary (The Godson of Soul – Usher). These titles are not a testament to quality, but a testament to fun, longevity and c
reativity Here is a list of some of the most memorable honorific titles given to singers and bands. Are we missing anything?
Male Performers
King of Pop – Michael Jackson (Is it me, or he often seem to be wearing medals… him, maybe he earned them when he became the King of Pop.
The King – Elvis
Godfather of Soul – James Brown
Chairman of the Board – Frank Sinatra
Architect of Rock and Roll – Little Richard
Father of Rock and Roll – Ike Turner
Godfather of Funk – George Clinton
Boss – Bruce Springstein
Godfather of Grunge – Neil Young
Prince of Darkness – Ozzy Osbourne
Pope of Mope – Morrissey
God of Rock – Freddie Mercury
His Purple Majesty or His Royal Badness – Prince
King of the High C’s – Luciano Pavarotti
King of Reggae – Bob Marley
Prince of Motown – Marvin Gaye
Female Performers
Queen of Soul – Aretha Franklin
First Lady of Song/Queen of Jazz – Ella Fitzgerald
First Lady of Country – Tammy Wynette
First Lady of Dance – Lady GaGa
Empress of Soul – Gladys Knight
High Priestess of Soul – Nina Simone
Crossover Queen – Shania Twain
White Queen of Soul – Dusty Springfield
Queen Bee – ‘Lil Kim
First Lady of Hip Hop Soul – Faith Evans
The Material Girl – Madonna (she hates this nickname)
Bands
The Greatest Band in All the World – The Beatles
The Metal Gods – Judas Priest
The Only Band That Matters – The Clash
America’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band – Aerosmith
The Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World – Rolling Stones
England’s Loudest Band – Spinal Tap
Check out former Governor Jesse “The Body” Ventura in the movie The Running Man (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger). Anyway, as Captain Freedom, here is a commercial for his workout video. The end is my favorite as I think its funny that there’ would be a workout video in which he simply flexes, points and laughs.