What’s Up With These Crazy Furniture Commercials?

Cheesy cable access commercials aren’t as prevalent as they once were in the 80’s and 90’s, but furniture stores seem to continue to carry the torch. Seems like every state has some sort of furniture commercial that has a guy screaming or singing directly at the camera. Most love to focus on offering lowest prices and credit, and lots of these guys loooooove themes. Let’s examine a few of the most choice furniture commercials.

Let’s start our journey with what seems to be the king of combining themes with bad puns in Indiana with Martin Fine Furniture. He’s dressed up as a cowboy, a teacher, a pirate (walk the plank for buying furniture from a competitor) and simply wearing a lot of hats. The best one is probably the following spaceman themed one:

How about Frankie and Johnnie’s which has the best coiffed salesman do a dance (about 32 seconds in) and then an offer of free fried chicken with purchase. Spend $1000 for a free ten piece. At the end they make the guy eat a piece and say “tastes like momma’s!” – ridiculous:

Check out Love Furniture Center with Iceman King Parson:

How about Red House furniture that promotes racial harmony among black and white people:

Then there’s the best… Montgomery Flea Market – it’s just like a Mini-Mall! This guy is a legit internet superstar, and has even appeared on Ellen. Check him out (especially his eyes):

3 thoughts on “What’s Up With These Crazy Furniture Commercials?

  1. Wow, fantastic! 3 thoughts/comments:
    1. In the “scene” where the Martin guy furiously defends his beloved bedroom set from 3 aliens, he fires his shot no where near the 2nd one, and still kills it…hooray for shitty special effects.
    2. Did anyone else notice that the Love’s furniture announcer pronouned 3-piece bedroom suite as “suit”…hooray for illiterate announcers!
    3. When the Flea Market Montgomery dude has a close-up, his eyes look like the guys who get trapped outside on Mars in Total Recall.

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