In my opinion 90% of vanity plates are stupid and cheesy (and that stat might be forgiving). I saw these three in the Superior Court parking lot recently… true story. What a bunch of douches.
Proud member of the bar:
————————————————————————————————-
Proud home wrecker:
————————————————————————————————-
King Creativity:
Heather Graham is super hot Hollywood blond whose still got it. With those big eyes, its like she never a
ges, and she’s been around longer then you’d think. Maybe its her reported dabbling with witchcraft and spells that’s given Heather staying power. Heather Graham made a huge splash baring all as Rollergirl in Boogie Nights, but has been wowing male audiences for over 20 years all the way back to License to Drive. She proved her acting chops early in Drugstore Cowboys and has done well in comedies like Bowfinger and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. She’s got model looks and still making good in comedies by playing an escort in the upcoming (Buzz Pirates endorsed) movie The Hangover.
Famous Relationships: artist Chris Doyle, musicians Jason Falkner and Adam Ant, and actors James Woods (met on set of Diggstown), Kyle MacLachlan, Elias Koteas, Heath Ledger, Elijah Blue, and Edward Burns.
Bio: The oldest of two children, her younger sister, Aimee Graham, is also an actress and writer. Their mother, Joan, is a teacher and noted author of children’s books, and father, James Graham, a retired FBI agent. Born January 29, 1970…find me a hotter 39 year old.
Got the Performance Bug Early: In 1986, she appeared on a special “Teen Week” episode of the N
BC-TV game show Scrabble. Her parents were not big fans of her career choice but were supportive driving her to early auditions for 80′s TV show Growing Pains.
Selected Filmography:
The season premiere of HBO’s Entourage is rapidly approaching. Vince, Turtle, Eric, Drama and Ari are the real boys of 
summer and will soon return for their Sixth Season. What better time to count down the 10 Best Episodes of Entourage so far. What do you think?
10. Season 1 Episode 1: Entourage
The very first episode got us hooked, and had some great lines. In the series opener, Vince is living it up as “Head On” is about to premiere, and his boys are along for the ride. We are introduced to Vince’s agent, Ari Gold, and the love/hate relationship between Ari and E begins.
Episode Quotes:
Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That’s the question.
Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That’s the answer!
Ari Gold: I gotta know what you think, so I can get you to think what I think.
Jane: Look, it’s not like I don’t think you’re cute, but I’m just still hoping I’m going to be the one that fucks Vince.
Turtle: Sweetheart, look around. Vince is gone. So’s your sister and your best friend. Come on, just make out with me, I’ll show you where Vince eats breakfast.
—————————————————————————————
9. Season 2 Episode 9: I Love You Too
The boys head to San Diego for Comic-Con to promote Aquaman. There, Vince chickens out on dinner with his co-star (and first love) Mandy Moore. Meanwhile, Johnny Drama is reliving his Viking Quest fame. With the help of comic icons “Pussy Patrol”, the boys are able to gat Aquaman rave reviews from a previously angry journa
list.
Episode Quotes:
Jesse Jane: Promoting my new comic book, “Pussy Patrol.”
Johnny “Drama” Chase: Nice.
Jesse Jane: It’s just me and the girls. We lick ass by day and kick ass by night.
Turtle: Aquaman’s in trouble, all right. The fate of Atlantis and all of mankind lies in your hands. It’s time to unleash the power of the pussy.
——————————————————————————————
8. Season 3 Episode 10: I Wanna Be Sedated
E stumbles upon Vince’s next big project when Ari dumps an old school movie producer on him (Bob Ryan, played by Martin Landau). Ryan lures E to his house, where E is forced to listen to him ramble for hours about his Hollywood career. It’s also a big day for Turtle, who is waiting for Saigon to sign with him. But Saigon is a no show and in an effort to find their star, Drama is dangled off a balcony and Turtle lets Saigon off the hook for $40K.
Episode Quotes:
Eric Murphy: Remember me?
Ari Gold: One never forgets their first love, E.
Bob Ryan: Is that something you might be interested in?
——————————————————————————————
7. Season 3 Episode 11: What About Bob?
Ari and Bob have a hard time agreeing on how to pitch the Ramones script to the studios. To get rid of Bob, Ari sends him to the wrong studio. This results in both Ari and Bob selling the script…to both Universal and Warner Brothers. Drama is in a panic, as his pilot begins shooting. His “you are not a pussy” meditations are failing him, and he heads back to his trailer to try something else to calm himself down. The passion that ensued between him and his right hand are heard throughout the studio, as Johnny Drama is still mike’d.
Episode Quotes:
Ari Gold: What if I were to tell you that I had a 22 inch cock, is that something you might be interested in?
——————————————————————————————
6. Season 2 Episode 13: Exodus
Classic episode. Drama and Turtle stalk Mandy Moore to prove to Vince that she’s cheating. Ari is deemed a traitor by Terence and is fired from the agency, and Lloyd proves his loyalty to Ari amidst Ari’s tirade of stereotypes and racial slurs directed at any minority in his path.
Episode Quotes:
Ari Gold: Lloyd, pack up all my files. Pile everything you see into a box. Everything! You see a used condom, an executioner’s mask, and a goddamn spiked paddle… don’t think, just pack that bitch. Chop suey!
Ari Gold: Ernesto. How many fucking pesos did I give you for Christmas? Huh, Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade. Half of Mexico is eating on my tips that I have given you. Now, bring my motherfucking car now, por favor.
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold, I can’t do it. Oh, and Mr. Gold. I’m from Guatemala, and our currency is the quetzal.
Lloyd: I’ve worked 18 hours a day to save up the money to put myself through Stanford Business School. While I was there, I cleaned the cafeteria during the hours I wasn’t studying and still graduated top of my class, only to take a job delivering mail to unappreciative overpaid little cocksuckers. Then to finally get the big promotion that would allow me to answer your phones and be both racially and sexually harassed for the next nine months. But I know the endgame… and you Ari Gold, you are it. So stop your fucking whining, and go into your gorgeous three million dollar house, with your beautiful goddess wife and figure out how you’re going to make both of our lives happen… tomorrow!
Ari Gold: That was a good speech, Lloyd. Yeah if I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something.
——————————————————————————————
5. Season 4 Episode 9: The Young and the Stoned
E gets into a car accident with Ana Farris. He’s convinced that they shared “a moment” and so he doesn’t give up when he realizes that she gave him her wrong phone number. Turns out she’s interested…in hiring E as her manager. Turtle is devestated to learn that his favorite marijuana is now extinct. Mrs. Ari is asked to reprise her role on the Young and the Restless, and Ari does not give her the validation she was hoping for.
Episode Quotes:
Ari Gold: [after Mrs. Ari asks him how she would do on her reprised role on Young and the Restless] You left the show when you were 25, and they shoot in Hi-Def now.
———————————————————————————————-
4. Season 1, Episode 6: Busey and the Beach
The boys attend Gary Busey’s art opening where they bump into aspiring agent Josh Weinstein. They leave the opening with an invitation to a hot beach party. Turtle confronts Gary Busey with weird results. When Eric lets Ari know about their disapproval, Ari leaves his kid’s birthday party to have an honest conversation with the pair.
Episode Quotes:
Gary Busey: You are a gut maggot without guts.
Ari Gold: Geez, you’re gonna spin off this planet. That’s great! Keep it up!
Ari Gold: Does your boss know your using his house for a party? Cause I just put a call into him. Yeah, we went to school together. I helped cheat on his economics final or he wouldn’t have graduated so he owes me big-time.
Ari Gold: You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don’t steal other people’s mother fucking clients, but in your case I’m going to make an exception. I’m going to take everyone; your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers, when I’m done with you, you’re gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface.
Ari Gold: [tastes Josh's drink and pours it out] That’s awful.
——————————————————————————————
3. Season 2 Episode 10: The Bat Mitzvah
Vince admits to Mandy Moore that he is still in love with her (while still mike’d of course). Ari is stressing about his daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, and all the boys are on the guest list. There, E meets Sloan, Drama and Turtle find the kids buffet, and Ari theinks that Terence is trying to “steal” Vince.
Episode Quotes:
Ari Gold: Smoke more weed, Turtle. Seriously, smoke more weed.
Johnny Drama: One day you’re lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next your cruisin’ down Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.
——————————————————————————————
2. Season 3 Episode 6: Three’s Company
Vince and Ari are try to make it work with the filming for both Medellin and Aquaman, but it does not work out. Meanwhile, E has been given the opportunity of a lifetime, when Sloane suggests a threesome with her friend Tori. E agrees to follow Sloane’s ground rules but freaks out when he wakes up spooning Tori.
Episode Quotes:
Johnny “Drama” Chase: Sloan and Tori want E to be the meat in their girl-girl sandwich.
Turtle: I know you’re not a big porn guy, but the innovations since the DVD are pretty amazing. Remember back in the day, you’d be tugging it and they’d cut to a close-up of the guy’s face and you’d want to kill yourself. Never again… multi-angles.
Turtle: [after E announces that Sloan wants to have a threesome with him and Tori] I am so whacking off to your girlfriend tonight.
Ari Gold: It’s too late for sorries. Vince is out. Jake Gyllenhaal is in. Brokeback Motherfucking Aquaman. Take that, bitch.
—————————————————————————————–
1. Season 3 Episode 9: Vegas Baby, Vegas!
This episode has everything! Ari and the boys head to Vegas to blow off some steam. Turtle gets Vince a gig judging a stripper beauty contest, Ari hits the tables, E has a run in with Seth Green, who taunts him about Sloan resulting in a throw down, and Drama has a misunderstanding of sorts with his favorite male masseuse. It all ends with a rumble with Seth Green’s entourage. Classic!
Episode Quotes:
Vincent Chase: So, what you’re saying is that we should go.
Eric Murphy: Have I ever said “No” to Vegas?
Turtle: Be like saying “No” to a blowjob.
Season 6 of Entourage starts July 12, 2009.
Submitted by Lauren
Buzz Pirates is expecting big hilarious things out of the movie The Hangover, which comes out soon. The movie stars Bradley Cooper, Ed 
Helms, Heather Graham and even has a Mike Tyson cameo. Still, in the trailer it looks like the break out star/ scene stealer may be comedian Zach Galifiankis. The North Carolina comedian has made a name for himself with stand up specials, a short lived role talk show on VH1 and role on the show Tru Calling. He has done many celebrity interviews on his show and in various Web projects. His interview style involves regular interview questions, weird non sequiturs and inappropriate and sometimes sexual questions and comments. See below where he interviews Michael Cera between two ferns…literally.
Other Famous Family: His cousin Nicholas Galifianakis is a cartoonist, and his uncle Nick Galifianakis is a former Democratic U.S. Congressman who lost a race for an open Senate seat in 1972 against Jesse Helms.
Selected Filmography:
Cheesy cable access commercials aren’t as prevalent as they once were in the 80′s and 90′s, but furniture stores seem to continue to carry the torch. Seems like every state has some sort of furniture commercial that has a guy screaming or singing directly at the camera. Most love to focus on offering lowest prices and credit, and lots of these guys loooooove themes. Let’s examine a few of the most choice furniture commercials.
Let’s start our journey with what seems to be the king of combining themes with bad puns in Indiana with Martin Fine Furniture. He’s dressed up as a cowboy, a teacher, a pirate (walk the plank for buying furniture from a competitor) and simply wearing a lot of hats. The best one is probably the following spaceman themed one:
How about Frankie and Johnnie’s which has the best coiffed salesman do a dance (about 32 seconds in) and then an offer of free fried chicken with purchase. Spend $1000 for a free ten piece. At the end they make the guy eat a piece and say “tastes like momma’s!” – ridiculous:
Check out Love Furniture Center with Iceman King Parson:
How about Red House furniture that promotes racial harmony among black and white people:
Then there’s the best… Montgomery Flea Market – it’s just like a Mini-Mall! This guy is a legit internet superstar, and has even appeared on Ellen. Check him out (especially his eyes):
Houston, Texas - Tragedy struck the gargantuan, disgusting fat bastard community as Xavier Thicksauce , inventor of the 
Doughnut Sandwich died today. With a blood pressure of 167 over 112 only a week ago, a sleeping heart rate of 134 beats per minute and at a weight of 312 pounds, the massive inventor passed away in an expected tragedy. With little more then a phlegmy gurgle, the overweight Thicksauce died in a seated position. Neighbors had heard massive wheezing sound coming from the genius food maestro’s apartment for days prior. The body was discovered with a yellow/orange Doritos cheese dust covering the hands.
Police on the scene said there was little sign of a struggle… other then with a Wii controller. Detective Carlin Winton summed it up, “Yeeeep, appears a game of Wii Bowling took it’s toll on mommy’s little solider [Thicksauce]. Probably could have been worse had the nunchuck controller been involved.” At this time, police have ruled out death by Snack Attack.
Thicksauce had recently been named Lazy Man Cuzine Magazine’s man of the year for his Doughnut Sandwich. The magazine called it the most important discovery in gluttony foodstuffs since the November 2008 invention of “Sugar Mayonaise” by chubby Florida native Blair Goobottom.
The Doughnut Sandwich was recently called an “abomination” and a “fat nightmare” by President Obama’s health adviser 
Milton Buzzkill. Still, not all people agree with the health adviser’s assessment, as Thicksauce’s invention has found popularity in the plus 300 pound crowd.
“Dude, whatever. That shit is fuckin’ delicious!” said Thicksauce, in an March 2009 interview with Dessert Dinners Double Quarterly. “We’re talking about a glazed doughnut, with a bacon cheeseburger, an egg all topped with Thousand Island dressing. They called Einstein crazy when he invented the light bulb with the Mona Lisa… I’m like that guy, but better with this little taste of heaven.”
Mourners are encouraged to meet at a local IHOP on Thursday to celebrate the life of the rotund pioneer. Xavier Thicksauce is survived by his various snacks, his doughnut sandwich recipe, his high score on Galaga and his cat Sprinkles.
So, I took my first trip to Citi Field last night to see my beloved Mets beat the Braves in 10 innings. I gotta say, the new stadium is a fan friendly treat. There’s bigger and better seating options, more food options and tons of great places to see the game other then your seat. The Jackie Robinson Rotunda is a nice touch and some fun center field activities for the kids makes for a family-friendly evening.
Still, many parents probably covered their kid’s eyes last night when Citi Field’s first ever streaker, 29 year-old Craig Coakley took the field. The almost in the buff Mets hero wore a strategically placed orange towel with “Let’s Go Met’s” painted on his back. He took the field from the first-base line and slid into second. He responsibly adjusted himself, and gave up in centerfield to security. Knowing that they no longer will show streakers on TV, the premeditated streak was filmed for prosperity’s sake… please see below (warning: offensive language):
Coakley was charged with interfering with a sporting event and trespassing. He’ll pay a high fine for his stunt and two minutes of fame, but he will live on forever in our hearts as the first streaker profiled on Buzz Pirates.
From the duo that brought you “Jizz In My Pants” and “Dick in a Box”, JT and Andy deliver another classic showing how to “take care” of a needy mother with a Motherlover.
This is not a fake Buzz Pirates news story…this is a live account of a pregnant waitress I saw at Hooters on 
Thursday night. I will not name the specific Hooters to protect the innocent(ish). Let’s just say its in a sinful city that you wouldn’t be surprised seeing a pregnant Hooters girl in.
Sign ‘o the times? Bad luck? I don’t know, but the 2 or 30 times I’ve been to Hooters, I was expecting a young, hot thing… not a pregnant chick! C’mon man, its depressing, uncomfortable and an awkward situation for all involved. I mean, if you are the chick, you were already working at Hooters, that’s your job, you can’t just quit because you have a bun in the oven. If you are the management at the Hooters you can’t just fire the girl…that’s not right. Still, people coming to Hooters are expecting cute little girls in cute little outfits…right? Got a bunch of pregnant chicks running around, sales will go in the toilet…and the manager is looking for a new job. Hooters is a place to eat wings and see some T&A, not somewhere to either A. feel bad for the staff or B. get off on some sort of weird fetish. A conundrum if there ever was one.
And if you are a patron, what do you do when you find out you’ve got the pregnant chick? Only the douchebagiest of guests will ask for a non preggers chick, even though 
all who enter Hooters’ hallowed doors expect, and quite frankly deserve a waitress who’s not with child.
In the guy world, here’s how it goes down at pretty much every table that this chick waits on: (for the purposes of this equation, we will assume 4 guys at the table).
Pregnant Hooters girl comes over, guys uncomfortably say hi, she takes drink order and walks away…
Guy 1: “Dude, what the fuck is up with that? A pregnant Hooters chick, what the hell?”
Guy 2: “Dude, I’d totally still hit it”
Guy 3: “Ehhh, that’s fucked, up. She’s fucking pregnant”
Guy 2: “Duuuude, whatever, she’s totally still hot, and her tits are fucking huuuge from being all preggers and shit”
Guy 3: “Guy 2, you are gross…you’d have sex with a pregnant chick? What if she’s all lactating and whatnot.”
Guy 2: “Whatever, you mean to tell me that if you were married, and your wife got pregnant, you wouldn’t have sex with her for 9 months? You’re totally full of shit”
Guy 3: “That’s 100% different”
Guy 2: “Guy 3, you are total pussy! Guy 4, you are with me, right? She’s totally still hot!”
Guy 3: “Whatever, bro, I know Guy 1 is with me…”
And so the debate would begin… much like it does every night this particular Hooters girl works. If you ask me, I’d feel gypped having gotten the pregnant Hooters girl. Still, at Buzz Pirates we don’t lie… we’d still hit it!
Have you heard of Anton Yelchin? You will soon as he is in two buzzed about Hollywood blockbusters two weeks in a 
row. Both roles are of well known sci-fi characters. This week, he stars as Chekov in the new Star Trek movie and next week he’ll be playing the important role of John Connor’s father Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation. Check out the side by side pictures of Yelchin with the older version of the character (Walter Koenig and Michael Biehn). Most people who recognize this rising star will remember him for his starring role (and hot threeway) in Alpha Dog as the ill fated Zack Muzursky (based on the true story of Nicholas Markowitz). Recently he starred in the well reviewed Charlie Bartlett… we’ll see if roles in back to back Hollywood tent pole movies brings the 20 year old Russian- born actor’s profile into elite status.
Personal Life
Selected Filmography
