“I Get That a Lot” is a new prank show from CBS premiering on April Fools Day. Celebrities (Jessica Simpson, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst, etc.) pretend to be normal people and say “I get that a lot” when stopped by normal folk. Hahaha, get it… Jessica Simpson working a cash register…that’s crazy! C’mon, CBS, grow a set!

If the Buzz Pirates were in charge, here’s the celebrities we would have used and the situations we would have put them in:

Paris Hilton – Astrophysicist – “Hey, Dr. Hilton, did you know the core of the Sun is considered to extend from the center to about 0.2 solar radii. It has a density of up to 150,000 kg/m3 (150 times the density of water on Earth) and a temperature of close to 13,600,000 kelvins (by contrast, the surface of the Sun is around 5,800 kelvins).” Paris Hilton – “It’s Hot.” – Exactly!

Michael Vick – Professional Dog Walker – Apparently in a bankruptcy hearing the former scramblingist quarterback ever stated in his paperwork that he expects to make ten million a year… yeah, i don’t think so. In any case, he could make extra scratch post-jail as a dog walker. And by that I mean people who love their significant others but hate their pets could hire Mr. Vick for his special caring hand, and then suggest a goldfish instead of another yappy Chihuahua.

Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay and every other sassy British douchebags – Life Coach – A life coach helps their client determine and achieve personal goals. This is done through, among other things, constructive criticism… and no one gives uplifting advise to people who need it better then condescending, cursing douchebags Brits from reality shows…can you feel the love?

Lizzie Grubman – Tank Driver – Hey, don’t forget this lovely young lady proudly drove her Mercedes SUV in a crowd of people after being asked to move out of a fire lane. Ms. Grubman injured 16 people outside of a Hampton nightclub. She also yelled white trash at the crowd (in the Hamptons?) before backing into them. She was facing 8 years in prison and did hard time… 37 days in prison. So, since she can successfully driving into a pile of people, why not enlist her in the army and give her the keys to a real expensive utility vehicle.

Samuel L. Jackson – Librarian - He’ll be extra yelly, have trouble keeping quiet and in “Fiction” say something like…

“The path of the dewey decimel system is beset by numbers,
By the inequities of the microfiche and the tyranny of misplaced books.
Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will,
Shepards home the books he hath taken out on time,
For he is truly the checker out and owner of a library card
And I will shhh! those who talk loudly in here with vengeance and furious anger,
And those who attempt to run up large late fees
And you will know my name is the Librarian when I lay my vengeance upon you.”

Zac Efron – A heterosexual man – yep, I said it. April Fools!