Clifton, New Jersey – True Jackson, a screaming crying baby who sat three rows in front of you really enjoyed last nights
10pm showing of Friday the 13th. Whether its the gruesome dismemberment on the screen or the highly caffeinated Mountain Dew in the infant’s bottle, the infant really voiced his opinion…by screaming and crying.
All attempts by you politely inform Ms. Jackson that her baby is crying were immediately ignored. Taking only brief moments away from her loud cellphone call to yell “don’t go in there!,” Ms. Jackson is unaware of just how much her son is enjoying the movie. Deciphering that the baby’s screaming and crying were of enjoyment of the grotesque and sexual movie were gathered from listening to his mother’s phone call. At several points during the movie Ms. Jackson stated, “don’t worry about True, he love the Mike Myers.”
Even though you had been looking forward to enjoying Friday the 13th, it become a terr
ible annoyance. Pleas to get the baby to stop enjoying the movie so much at AMC Clifton Commons 16 were drowned out by a variety of sources. First, the couple making out next to you, whose loud sucking noises caused you to stop eating your Goobers. Second, the 15 year old freckle-faced kid who sat behind you kicking your chair, throwing popcorn at you and called you “fag” under his breath. Lastly, sitting immediately to your left (even though plenty of seats open everywhere) was a 345lb man eating a burrito that was clearly bought at Chipotle.
The screaming, crying baby has also been known to enjoy being next to you on plane rides, at the bank, at the post office and when you are are being told “you are the father” when on the Maury show.
Presumably responding to President Obama’s call for transparency in government, Wicked Pictures contract star Stormy Daniels is considering a run for a seat in the United States Senate. CNN.com reports that fans of the Good Will Humping star have set up a website, 
that her three main platforms are the economy, women in business and protection of children.
takes a nosedive after his arrest on Sunday. Plus, any guy who hits a girl is total scumbag – so, Chris Brown is our douche of the day.
you have them in the back shake me up a peanut butter and banana sandwich with some of the King’s special pep pills…and… baby toes. C’mon now, I’m the King! She wrote upon it, Return to Sender…address unknown, no such person…no such so.
10. Dr. Evil - even though his laugh is basically a composite/satire, it serves as a good general jumping off point of all evil laughs… Muaww ha ha…
9. David Letterman – part of Letterman’s overall appeal is that you can never quite tell if you or the guest are really in on the joke or the butt of it… his laugh conveys that well.
8. Dr. Hibbert - no one delivers bad news worse then Dr. Hibbert with his inappropriate laugh.
7. George W. Bush – what impression of W is complete without the “heh heh” laugh.
6. Krusty the Clown – the forced craziness of Krusty’s distinctive laugh makes it easy to imitate.
5. Beavis - no character has a laugh that establishes their stupidity like Beavis (honorable mention for Butthead’s well known laugh).
4. Eddie Murphy – Is it me, or does Eddie Murphy never do his old school laugh anymore? He’s another character with a laugh that is fun to imitate. Just like I hope he’ll do a movie where he does a lot of cursing soon instead of one where, he like, slips on ice and falls into a pile of dirty diapers, I hope to see more Eddie’s distinctive laugh soon!
3. Ernie (of Bert and Ernie fame) – The less crotchety of Sesame Street’s favorite homosexual roommates, Ernie has that slightly phlegmy laugh that is so memorable. In the spirit of creating some laughs versus simply showing them, check out this Bert and Ernie Gangsta rap YouTube video that I think is hilarious.
2. Nelson Muntz – Remember that guy growing up that would laugh when someone got hurt? Nelson is Muntz is that guy. Like a good bully, this little douche is always ready to laugh at you when you are have just suffered a major let down or have endured an embarrassing moment. He’s gotten his cumupence more the once on The Simpsons, but give the kid a break, he’s got a terrible family life.
1. Muttley - He’s the Hanna-Barbera evil sidekick dog of Dick Dastardly. He’s number one because you probably knew his laugh and didn’t even know his name or where he was from.
Express… and now Michael Phelps enters the realm of famous pot smoker’s. He won 8 gold medals and 