Top 10 George Carlin Quotes
June 23, 2008 – 11:34 am by Jeff
Legendary comedian George Carlin passed away yesterday from heart failure at the age of 71. George was among the most influential comedians ever, with a Grammy Award winning career that spanned nearly 4 decades. George was best known for his catchy one line phrases that were so obvious and true that they were funnier than anything that could be imagined.
In honor of George, I am happy to list my 10 Top George Carlin quotes.
#10
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
#9
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
#8
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
#7
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
#6
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
#5
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
#4
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
#3
What year did Jesus think it was?
#2
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
#1
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
Number one may not be the funniest, but it is the one that most accurately describes George and his career. He will surely be missed. Rest in peace George.
A lot more hilarious quotes can be found here.
Like this post? Subscribe to our feed so you don't miss the buzz!
Subscribe To Our RSS Feed
Get Updates Via Email
Follow Jeff On Twitter
15 Responses to “Top 10 George Carlin Quotes”
#7 seems pretty accurate to me.
thanks for the list.
nice list, thanks.
A very funny guy alright, and will be sorely missed.
There is little enough humour in the world.
A good list.
I’ve always agreed with #7 in a way that most don’t think about.
To be honest the earth will be around and fine long after we mess with the environment. The earth has lived many times over with different dominant life forms.
The only thing we are doing to destroy the earth is for us and most likely our children. I have George state this quote many times and could not agree more.
Very cool list.
#2 is scary
#2 is probably my favorite one. The only reason its not #1 is because I saved the quote that best describes George Carlin for the top spot.
Shawn - I agree with you completely! Global warming is not a new phenomenon. There’s always been global warming. How else would we have come out of the ice age! I’m all for caring for the planet and stuff. But the people who preach about saving the planet are full of shit. They should be preaching “save the people”.
My God has a bigger dick than your God. -> when talking about religion Carlin was one of the best comedians out there!
Good one Alexandru.
To be honest, it really isn’t possible to pick the 10 BEST. There are so many good ones…
I’ve seen several lists of the same type that were way better. His rants on American consumerism and hypocrisy are unmatched in their wit and signature George wordcraft. You quote some good routines, but not these are definitely, definitely not his 10 best moments.
I have to agree with you Max. Carlin was in a class by himself. It is near impossible to pick the 10 best out of thousands of brilliant observations and revelations. I did my best to pick the 10 that described George as thoroughly as possible. #1, for example, is not the funniest by far. But it could not describe George better.
#1
“I think it’s the duty” - agree oMan
Half of those lines are just lame puns. Calling his jokes “funnier than anything that could be imagined” is ridiculous. He had some of the most shockingly mediocre material I’ve ever heard. He was tremendously unfunny most of the time. From the comments here I can see that Carlin’s fans share his lack of intelligence. I was relieved when he died.
Good list. I got turned on to Carlin when I was about 13 and it’s hard to believe that he’s gone. But thanks to things like this page and YouTube, he’ll never really be gone.
P.S. You misspelled “its” in this quote: “When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?”
Thanks Steve. All fixed! I agree that Carlin is unique and will definitely be missed.
I love the seventh quote.