Grand Theft Auto 4 Released Today – Take Cover

Grand Theft Auto 4Grand Theft Auto 4, the eagerly anticipated video game gangster simulator from Take Two Interactive releases in stores across the country today. First week sales are expected to top $400 as teenagers began lining up outside video game stores as early as 5pm last night to be among the first to practice their virtual car jacking and drug dealing skills.

In a time when students are beating up their teachers on a daily basis, this latest media masterpiece is yet another shining example of the positive influences on America’s youth. Ironically, the game’s primary production studio is located in Edinburgh, Scotland. Sam Houser and his brother Dan, co-founders of Rockstar Games which is the wholly owned subsidiary that publishes the game, were born in England. These Brits have managed to chew up America’s pop culture fascination with crime and violence, hock it into a big fat loogy, and spit it back in the face America’s top media demographic. And us wankers love every bit of it.

Take a look at some of the eager youths that battled the elements to be among the first to own the game. I’ve got two simple words for everyone…COLUM BINE

Future GTA Sociopaths

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